"Life is made up of little things. True greatness consists in being great in little things". - Charles Simmons
When I was still in corporate life, there was a time when I was quite overwhelmed by the time and attention needed by the hundreds of people with whom I worked. I was having a very difficult time in my desire to respond to the multitude of competing needs by the organization and by employees hungry for coaching, development, continuous improvement, support and resources. A good friend told me a story he thought would help me in my struggle, and this small act made a big difference to me. He told me about a man walking along a beach at one of the world’s great oceans and seeing thousands of starfish, as far as he could see, washed up along the shore. He spotted one lone man as he got closer, throwing the starfish one by one back into the ocean. As he approached the man, he said “what possible difference can you make. You’ll never be able to throw all these starfish out into the sea. Why try?” The man smiled compassionately while still throwing the starfish out, and replied gently, “I just made a difference to that one.”
What I’ve grown to realize and accept over the years is this one simple fact. The more we know about people, the more likely we can help. But the real question is this: What does it take to know people? How about this for an answer: What I’ve learned from years of interaction and observation, is that it takes approximately 2000 hours to get to know anyone. To put this into perspective, let me illustrate it this way. Working 40 hours a week for 50 weeks, would be 2000 hours. Now the question, how likely is it that you will be able to devote 2000 hours in any given year to getting to know someone? In my opinion it is not likely, but should this be a goal of ours? In my world, while the number of 2000 certainly reflects one’s commitment to building the relationship, and I suggest that you start on this road, it’s also important that each and every one of us take the time to pause, and to pace ourselves on how we build our relationships.
How true it is when it comes to building solid relationships with others. Take a moment and think about rolling a pair of dice. If we asked you to roll one of the dice it would be called a die.
As you know, most die are numbered from 1 to 6 right? OK, now here’s the question.
If you roll the die 20 times in a row, and the die lands on the number 3, what are the odds that the next time you roll the die it will land on the number 3? Now don’t rush into it. Think for a moment.
Now most people that I mention this to say one of two things:
The odds are not very likely
OR
The odds are very likely
The reality is that in both cases the odds are the same. They are one in six.
With that said, what’s most interesting about this formula, is the magic number of 6.
Now, let us contrast rolling dice to increasing interaction. Increasing interaction brings increased cooperation with others.
From my own observations, and from self research, my theory is that if you can interact with someone at least six times, then you’ll end up having a 50/50 chance of either building an incredible relationship or not having a relationship at all.
While I’m open to having a relationship with others, it’s only through mutual consideration that a relationship is possible. If you consider that the interaction you had could lead into an incredible relationship with someone then it is so. It’s that simple.
So what is it I’m saying you ask? I’m saying that if you are interested in pursuing a relationship with another, make the attempt to interact at least six times from the time you first meet them.
By doing this, you’re in a position to continue to the lay the foundation toward building a wonderful relationship with another.
When all is said and done, just being there is never enough. Follow-up, increased interaction, and a sincere approach to the relationship is a winning combination.
Here’s a Fun NetBeing Exercise
As you’re getting ready to leave the next networking event you attend, consider doing this. Make a concerted effort to make one last round for the sole purpose of saying goodbye to others, particularly saying goodbye to those whom you have met for the first time. You'll be amazed at how an additional 10-15 minutes of your time will affect others and how much your effort will be appreciated. It's a small but powerful way to develop relationships with new contacts. It is the little thing that makes a big difference.
How to Interact Six Times
Here’s a simple method to the madness in building six interactions into your relationships.
1.
You meet someone for the first time.
2.
You send an e-mail stating that you enjoyed the interaction and look forward to seeing them again in the future.
3.
If you have something in common, and you think that a project can be initiated or a partnership can be put in place, suggest that you get together.
4.
Get together with the person.
5.
After you’ve been together, thank them for taking the time to meet with you.
6.
Stay in touch.
Thinking Points for Connecting Forward
Ask people, what “one thing” would help them right now move their personal or professional life forward. Help them by providing resources, or connecting them with others to make it possible.
Summary
This strategy has emphasized the power of small acts and how through consistently doing the little things, we make a big difference in the lives of countless others—and who knows, perhaps the world!
Next month we will move on to creating visibility, Strategy Seven, which focuses on multiplying efforts of exposing yourself to new and exciting possibilities and meeting and deepening relationships.
This strategy as you might have previously read emphasizes the power of small acts and how through consistently doing the little things, we make a big difference in the lives of countless others—and who knows, perhaps the world!
We are always in relationship to our environment. Our environment includes our families, our friends, our neighbors, our community, our business colleagues, a spiritual force, and nature itself.
What are the little things that we do that are relational? If we are hiking in a park, perhaps we pick up litter along the trail. Understanding that we are always in relationship with some one or some aspect of our environment, helps keep us mindful of NetBeing as a way of life.
Following are relationship actions that, while not being inclusive, support consistently doing the little things.
Spontaneity
Attentiveness
Listening
Connecting people with complementary needs
Graciousness
Touching base
Mentoring
How can you use some of the actions above to help support you in doing the little things that make a big difference.
What action steps will you take? Add these steps to your calendar right now.
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Ron Sukenick is the Chief Relationship Officer and founder of the Relationship Strategies Institute, a training and Relationship development company that provides innovative, effective and relevant programs and systems for corporations, organizations, and associations. To learn more about the value of Relationship Development, visit his Web site at
http://www.ronsukenick.com/ . You can reach Ron by phone at: 317-216-8210, or by
email.___________________________________________________________________
Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER. To subscribe for your free newletter, go to
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Beyond Networking with Ron Sukenick
