RESPECT MY TIME.

Dear Friends (and I occasionally use that term patronizingly, as some of the alternatives which come immediately to mind are unprintable):

Have you experienced any of the following "counterintuitive" phenomena in your relationship-building efforts? [No need to answer out loud -- the people nearby will think that you are crazy]:
1. The persons who want something from you for free are a great deal more persistent than those who pay you for your time and effort.

2. The persons who want something from you for free tend to be far less patient with you than those who pay for your time and effort.

3. The persons who want something from you for free tend to shirk your needs (no matter how minor) aside when they are "working" for "money", or with a "paying" "client".

4. The persons who tend to ceaselessly demand the most of you tend to return the least.

5. That persons who flatter you with the biggest trowelful of adoration tend to follow that flattery with a demand that you do some "homework" for them...usually a great deal of work requiring a great amount of your time.

6. That persons frequently use the leverage of friendship or partnership as a ruse or excuse to make you work harder, faster and for less compensation.

7. That you find yourself afraid to ask for the compensation which you deserve because you feel that you will either lose friends or clients.

8. That you get far fewer business or professional referrals from persons when you do things for them gratis than when you have billed for your time or achievements.

9. That when people say "we" they often mean just "you."

10. That those people who court you, solicit you, corner you and "pick your brain" without ever getting down to the part of the discussion where they ask, "And what, brilliant sir, might you require in compensation for your services? Please let me know. When can we commence? Do you require a cheque or a wire transfer? May I pick up this tab for lunch?" are the ones who will unhesitatingly tell third parties behind your back..."I have a hard time working with/ getting a hold of/ understanding that guy."

If you have experienced these phenomena, you are not alone. You are in good company. Don't be cynical -- it isn't that people are mistreating you deliberately. It is actually of a function of two things:

1. People's hard-wired and societally-reinforced behaviors and responses to certain subtle signals;

2. Your failure to acknowledge and deal with #1, immediately above.

You set a bad precedent when you don't forewarn or pre-advise people of each of the following cold realities. Do this early on in the game:

• You are an expert;
• Your time is scarce, and that it is worth money;
• Your priorities, of necessity, will go toward those persons who pay for your services;
• There are limits to your time and availability;
• You must insist upon their cooperation or they will have contributed to your failure.

If you meet with too much resistence, move on politely. If they start to offer you other forms of compensation in lieu of your fee, move on politely (with a few exceptions -- see below). If they tell you of their lamentable poverty, refer them to Social Services and then move on.

If someone asks me, "Douglas...if you really believe in my project so much why don't you just work on a percentage, or be a junior partner?" I must question their motives, as well as their likelihood of winning at what they are at work on, lest I gamble away my chance at certain profits through guaranteed compensation per hour or per engagement. Choose speculative opportunities carefully -- only the very best should be the exceptions to the "I get paid a fee" principle.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Be certain that people respect your time, and that you respect your own time by bringing this TIME IS MONEY subject up early on in the realtionship. Then, invest your time very wisely, and make good decisions.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW). All rights reserved.

To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

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A NOTE FROM THE CHAIRMAN: TNNW Continues to Evolve

In past issues of The National Networker (TNNW) Newsletter and in our Bulletins (re-named "Updates") we have promised change in the upcoming months and I am here to make good on that promise.

Why change?

Because the face of networking is constantly changing and therefore the needs of our subscribers and members are changing. The demand for unparalleled content in a world where there is a continual barrage of re-posted, re-hashed, and plainly uninteresting information out there is at an all time high - our readers want information that they can use today, material that is thought-provoking and, at times, edgy.

One of those changes happens this week. You have spoken and we have listened.

I have been writing an article since the second issue of TNNW (March, 2005) and I have named it (for my own lack of imagination) Headline. This changes today with my new column entitled Because I Can. Additionally, it will be appearing in the Week 1 issue of every month. For those of my loyal readers/followers, you can expect my usual rantings and ravings about global economics, Relationship Capital theory, religion, politics, Newtonian physics, and the occasional small, furry woodland creature. I hope you enjoy my "first" submission to you under the new name, entitled Why Givers Don't Always Gain and Why the "Law" of Reciprocity is Bullsh!t. Why call it that?

Because I can.

Oh...and I changed my (what Douglas Castle loves to refer to as my "Bar Mitzvah") picture too.

In the next few weeks, expect more writers, more topicality and more interesting stuff. We're changing faster than you can connect with a Nigerian heiress, buy Canadian prescription drugs and become an Internet Millionaire in just 5 easy steps!

As always, I look forward to Networking with you,

Adam

For more about Adam J. Kovitz, please click here.

Hire Adam to speak at your next conference or event by emailing info@thenationalnetworker.com.

Follow Adam on Twitter!

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To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

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THE REHUMANIZATION OF NETWORKING: Walking On Eggshells

The Rehumanization of Networking
with Douglas Castle

Whoever You Are:

This is my newly-featured column. Adam J. Kovitz (who loves to see his name in print) appeared to me in a vision and said, "Son, I believe it is time for you to write about whatever you want to write about, instead of the usual insipid, prosaic pap that I force you write about. Go off and build a life for yourself. Make me proud. Try not to be too graphic or use too much profanity."

WALKING ON EGGSHELLS

I have done it. So have you. It feels degrading. It feels like enslavement. It feels embarrassing. It is emotionally exhausting. It robs you of your self-respect. It makes you look foolish to everyone who actually knows you. It takes so much of your time. And what's so very sad about it -- IT ALMOST NEVER WORKS!

Yes. I am speaking (and very quietly, so you have to listen very, very closely and carefully) about walking on eggshells. This is a social ritual where we perceive someone as being so valuable to us that we are prepared to compromise virtually everything, including our time, our opinions, our principles. We meet someone with something we'd like (i.e., investment capital, important contacts, personal fame, a wonderful body for our exploration, a great job opportunity), and we put him/her on a pedestal. We are afraid to ask for anything "prematurely," for fear that it will become obvious to this person that we are "after something." So we begin the dance.

We are inoffensive. We laugh at jokes that we don't think are funny. We "suck up". We stop being who we truly are, are try to become the person we thank that our targeted person would want us to be. We turn into Hoke, and the target person becomes Miss Daisy. Worst...we invest an incredible amount of time "romancing" the target person with absolutely no certainty that we will get that special something we are after. We always have the unsettling feeling that that person might lose interest in us, or stop noticing us, or become disenchanted with us, or think that we are too aggressive -- or, when we finally work up the courage to ask something of them --turn us down.

Here are some unsettling facts:

1. Our target person, no matter how seemingly stupid, invariably senses what we are doing;

2. Our target person actually resents our sycophantic, simpering, cloying conduct, but indulges us out of a sense of pity, entertainment, egomania or good manners;

3. Our target person is absolutely waiting for us to ask for something, or to make some request;

4. Our target person has been through this ritual as many times as we have;

5. Our target person has actually made up his or her mind as to whether or not he or she would like to engage us within the first hour of our acquaintance. With every minute after this, we are wasting time.

My suggestion: Don't ever prostitute yourself unless 1) you know that the other person wants what YOU have to offer and 2) can pay for it. Otherwise...

Do a flamenco on the eggshells at your soonest moment. Treat your targeted hotshot as you would another Human being. If you want something of that person, ASK. And ask soon. You can spend six months kissing up to someone who thinks that you are the quintessential numbskull, and be rejected in six months. Think of the wasted time. Think of all of those lunch and dinner tabs.

Learn to listen to and to trust your instincts about people. If your connection feels good, it is at least a 60% - 40% proposition that you can ask for something reasonable and get it in relatively short order. If your connection feels bad (when the person to whom you are trying to ingratiate yourself is not even making eye contact with you, and is looking around the room for other persons, or is smiling for the camera, or is obviously preoccupied or distracted) it is a 99% - 1% proposition that he or she has no interest in you, or in accommodating you. This is not to say that you should not use your best efforts (and charm, if you've got any) in order to get your target person's undivided attention for long enough to establish a brief Human-to-Human, one-on-one connection. Persistence pays. Ask Madonna, Stallone, Ted Turner, Donald Trump, Oprah, Bill Gates...

But bear in mind that persistence is very different than just "cozying up" (except possibly in the case of Madonna, who was a legendary innovator when it came to actually combining the two). Sometimes you can ask repeatedly, and the target person eventually relents. Be persistent in asking -- not in merely "getting close to greatness." Expedite the trial and error process by breaking the eggshells.

Don't walk on eggshells. Ask for what you want, and ask early on. Life is far too short and far to uncertain to waste a second of it away from the things that actually work. Ask for what you want. Ask early on. If someone says no, ask again. But understand that the game isn't on until you've actually asked.

Thank you, one and all.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

*Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/douglascastle http://twitter.com/TNNW_BUZZWORKS
*Check me out: http://aboutDouglasCastle.blogspot.com http://www.LinkedIn.com/in/douglascastle
*My Blog: http://aboutDouglasCastle.blogspot.com

For more about Douglas, please click here.

Special thanks to Cooltext (http://www.cooltext.com/) for their excellent graphics and design effects.

TNNW UPDATES! July, 2009, Week #1

JULY, 2009, Week 1
UPDATE ISSUE 2 (New Format)

***New TNNW Survey: The Zig Ziglar Paradigm...Time for a revision?

Take This Survey!

THE ZIG ZIGLAR PARADIGM - TNNW Survey #89

Tom Ziglar quoting his father's time-honored business philosophy: "You can have everything in life that you want, if you will help enough other people get what they want." - Zig Ziglar

Many of us, myself included, have grown up with Mr. Ziglar's wisdom as mantra. Is this classic paradigm still applicable in this changing society and economy? Do you believe it? Do you employ it as a regular business practice? How might you refine or modify it to make it more applicable? Take the TNNW survey -- it's quick and completely painless. THE NATIONAL NETWORKER would like your views.

Access the survey at http://www.linkedin.com/redirect?url=http%3A%2F%2Ftwitlik%2Ecom%2FDownload89&urlhash=cBYe&_t=disc_detail_link . Get your free subscription to the TNNW Newsletter at http://www.linkedin.com/redirect?url=http%3A%2F%2Ftwitlik%2Ecom%2FOK&urlhash=ml2b&_t=disc_detail_link . We welcome your participation and we truly value your personal and professional input. Thank you for your consideration.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

***THE NATIONAL NEWSPICKER to Debut in August!

In one of our many special laboratories deep beneath the surface of one of Saturn's lesser-known moons (Crappitus, a very, very small moon, with a surface area roughly the size of Detroit, very quietly discovered during the Dick Cheney Vice Presidency -- kept secret from the American Public because "it's none of their f---ing business!") which we lease for peanuts (literally), our staff of debunked as disgruntled scientists has been working on, among other things, a SPECIAL BLENDED NEWSFEED. This comprehensive feed (provisionally named "THE NATIONAL NEWSPICKER") be released for our TNNW Subscribers in August.

You ask, "So what?" Well:

This one feed will contain all of the breaking news from all of the top sources (worldwide) regarding everything of importance to everyone who employs networking as an integral part of his or her business. You say, "That's me! In fact, that's everyone!" Precisely. All the headline news, stripped down to only the most important, most authoritative and most relevant bits of crucial information.

Imagine this: One source. Twenty minutes of reading. Knowing it all. Being informed. Sounding lethally intelligent. Being more efficient, effective, powerful and valuable. Increase your Relationship Capital (Adam J. Kovitz is the Avatar of Relationship Capital, by the way...).

KNOWLEDGE + APPLICATION = POWER.

Coming in August...THE NATIONAL NEWSPICKER. [We invite our Subscribers and Members to rename this thing. Please]

*** OTHER STUFF

The NATIONAL NETWORKER is the process of dramatic change. We expect to implement these innovations, improvements and upgrades in Beta in the month of August. Of course there will be power outages, downtime and lots of excuses masquerading as explanations (i.e., "the long time to load the site was obviously caused by Global Warming'... and that sort of baloney); but then, all the big guys have that stuff, so these abnormal events will probably add to TNNW's credibility.

1. Our Newsletter will have an updated and upgraded look, increased interactivity with subscribers and richer, more useful content than ever before. It will be easier to find and follow your favorite authors (and to forward their articles). You will also be seeing some exciting new columns from some brand new authors who have honored us by joining us -- authors with unparalleled expertise, experience, writing style and messages of tremendous importance. Authors with whom you will be invited to interact, personally and professionally. Long story short - You got people. You know what else -- the Newsletter will continue to be free.


2. Our special blended Newsfeed (provisionally called the "National Newspicker") will contain the most important top stories and breaking news from a select group of the best media resources available on such subjects as (just to name a few): networking, communications, social media, navigating the New Web, leadership, team-building, growth through joint ventures, global relationship-building, new technologies, sources of capital for smaller and entrepreneurial companies, business plans and presentations, career growth, public relations and publicity, and new contacts and tools which can use. Our TNNW Select Newsfeed will be the only feed that you will need to read every day. You will make it a Favorite. It will also be available as a high-utility gadget. One day in the future, everything will be available as a Google Gadget.

3. Our completely updated and high-utility suite of Member Services will be more readily accessible, more user-friendly and more powerful than ever before. Subscribers will want to graduate to full Membership. Our new Interactive Calendar Of Events will revolutionize the way you promote your brand, services and meetings...in fact, the NATIONAL NETWORKER will dramatically change the way in which people organize their daily schedules and utilize their precious time. You will be impressed and enthralled.

4. We will be offering more partnership, capitalization, mentoring and joint venturing opportunities than ever before. The Networker will be rolling out a bunch of DIRECT CONNECT services where we will bring good people together. We won't be just talk - we will help you (as in "hands-on") to build beneficial relationships. We are not just writing...we are action. What other social media or "connection" service can make that claim? Look forward to cutting-edge proactive.

5. We will make you glad that you joined us and became a part of our growing, interactive international community. And of course, they'll be plenty of buttons...





6. If you haven't already taken TNNW Survey #88 on LEADERSHIP ["What must an effective leader do..."], please take a moment to take it now. It is very quick, and the results promise to be fascinating. Get the survey at http://twitlik.com/Response88 . Note: The deadline for submitting your opinion and thoughts is July 10th, and the results will be published publicly on July 18th. Every noteworthy organization in the world today, whether private sector or public sector, is facing a leadership crisis. We must identify those things that make certain persons leaders, find those people and persuade them to assume the responsibilities of leadership. Weigh in at http://twitlik.com/Response88.

7. Are you part of the ONE PERCENT? Find out: http://twitlik.com/OnePercent


As always, thank you for being a Subscriber, and for reading us. By the way, the re-formatted website will be a snap to navigate. We swear (too often).

With Great Things to Come,

Adam J. Kovitz and Douglas Castle (who is not quite as important as Adam J. Kovitz)







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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW). All rights reserved.

To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

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BEING THERE WHEN IT COUNTS: Will Your Customers and Prospects Next Purchase be From You or a Competitor?

Being There When it Counts with Rick Itzkowich

On page 63 of his book The Ultimate Sales Machine, Chet Holmes reveals that only three percent of potential buyers in a given market, at any given time are buying now. His research also concludes that an additional seven percent of the market’s population is open to the idea of buying. This means that almost 90% of the people in our target market will be buying at some point in the future. Unless we happen to be in front of them when they are ready to buy, they will buy from someone else.

A few years ago I surveyed a large group of solopreneurs and service professionals and asked what methods they used to systematically stay in touch with their prospects, customers and clients. To my surprise, 87% of the respondents didn’t have a system in place. This one-two punch is one of the main reasons why small business owners and service professionals often struggle with their sales.

One of my favorite examples to illustrate this point is the story of a gentleman I met at a networking event who was selling ink cartridges for printers. It just happened that my printer was running low on ink, and I was ready, right then and there, to buy a replacement cartridge. I was among the three percent. I ordered from him and got great service, quality and price. So far so good.

Three months later I needed to replace my cartridge. However I couldn’t find his business card. He hadn’t stayed in contact with me, and I had no way to order from him. He missed out on that sale – and every sale since from me. That was over five years ago. How many other sales did he lose by not gathering contact information from the people he sold to—and using that data to stay in touch with them?

Unfortunately, this scenario repeats itself every day with thousands of business people. Many of these folks may even be out of business or are barely surviving. And more than likely, they are blaming the economy. Whether you use a monthly email newsletter, send postcard reminders or tips or a daily email text touch to your contacts, I assure you – you will see results.

Simple math tells you that the more frequent you can be top of mind with prospects, customers and clients, the more chances you are to catch them when they move into the three percent of those who are buying now. How often are you giving your customers and prospects the chance to be reminded of the value you bring to them?

This month’s QuoteAction is by Management Guru, Peter Drucker
“The problem in my life and other people's lives is not the absence of knowing what to do, but the absence of doing it.”

Your action for this month is to implement a consistent, easy system to increase the frequency of contact with your prospects, customers and clients.

Enjoy an Extraordinary Month!

Click *here* to find out more about QuoteActions and some of the other innovative products and services offered by THE NATIONAL NETWORKER.

As the creator of the QuoteActions, a unique relationship building system, Rick Itzkowich finds his articles, podcasts and blog messages regarding keeping your brand "top of mind" in high demand. His latest eBook, Social Networking for Business Profits, uses cost-effective follow up strategies. Rick is also the Co-founder and Vice President of Productive Learning & Leisure, a personal development training company for corporations and individuals. Rick can be reached at rick@productivelearning.com.

For more about Rick Itzkowich, please click here.

THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW):
PRESS OUR BUTTONS & CLICK OUR LINKS...











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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW). All rights reserved.

To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

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BECAUSE I CAN: Why Givers Don’t Always Gain and Why the “Law” of Reciprocity is Bullsh!t

Because I Can with Adam J. Kovitz

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”

- Henry Winkler

Last month I introduced the concept of “Insani-FREE”, the assumption that many people (I’m sure you’re not one of them) make about the concept of “FREE”, and how this leads to the “death”* of many a business/professional relationship. Nothing sucks more than being the person on the giving end of a relationship who has to deal with a taker who:

1. Doesn’t understand the value of what you’re offering
2. Takes without showing appreciation, or
3. Takes without giving back.

But Adam…what about “Giver’s gain”, “the Golden Rule”, “the Law of Reciprocity”, or even “The Tenth Law of Relationship Capital”?

Shouldn’t we get back everything we give away? In fact, shouldn’t we get back more that what we give?

The answer to the last two questions are unequivocally, “yes”, provided:

1. You live in a vacuum
2. You live in Fantasy Land, or
3. You happen to be really, really lucky.

For the rest of us ordinary folks who have to put up with reality, why do some people give and give of themselves to others and not get back what they feel they rightfully deserve?

To this I answer, “Because we have obviously made some wrong assumptions here”. Let’s take a look at these assumptions more closely and even use the commonly-accepted Laws of the Known Universe – I love using Newtonian Physics - to explain what is really happening here.

Why?

Because I can…

Don’t Be Such a Drag

How often have you dealt with those who cannot appreciate you for who you are and what you do? We have often referred to such people as “drags”, “energy vampires” or in the corporate world we say that they’re not good “team-players”. Have you ever stopped to really think about why we say such things?

Let’s to that now…

The Law of Conservation of Energy is appropriate here. It states that:

Energy can neither be created nor destroyed.

Or put into more formulaic terms:

E_in = E_out

What this means is that if I put energy into a system (a relationship is one such example of a system), I should get the same amount of energy out.

So when we put a lot of energy into a relationship with someone who is a “drag”, “energy vampire” or not a good “team player”, we should get the same amount back out of it…correct?

Yes.

So why is it that it feels like there is less energy there such that we often end up being “disenfranchised”, “disappointed”, “disenchanted” and/or just “dissed”?

Because the energy that comes back to you is, indeed, diminished, leading you to feel that your energy was wasted.

Why?

Because any physical system, be it mechanical, hydrodynamic, thermodynamic, electrical, chemical, financial or even relational all suffer from energy loss in the form of friction, drag, resistance, etc., so our original equation can be rewritten:

E_given = E_taken + E_lost

So when we look at the so-called “Law” of Reciprocity and make the wrongful assumption that we will get back everything we put in to a relationship all the time, we do not take into account “Relational Resistance” – the individual G-d-given free will that the other party in the relationship possesses that will either make magic or lead to disappointment.

I am hoping that by now you are beginning to see that we can analyze organizational/team/network effectiveness much in the same way aeronautical engineers design a new aircraft or the controller/CFO determines the financial stability of a corporation? It doesn’t matter the application – the same formula holds true.

From an aeronautical engineering perspective, E_given relates to the energy value of fuel needed for an aircraft to work according to design specifications, E_taken is the thrust or speed of the aircraft and E_lost is the drag and the weight of the aircraft.

From a financial perspective, E_given can relate to revenue, E_taken is the profit and E_lost is the loss due to expenses.

Resistance is Futile

So if we can perform such analysis on aircraft, finance, hydroelectric dams, plus a myriad of other systems, why don’t we do it with human relational systems?

Simple…resistance.

Resistance to what?

The idea that it can’t be done. I’ve heard arguments that it’s impossible to quantify or valuate the energy people put into such relational systems.

My counter-argument to this is that we can value such things by the means of our own perceptional perspectives – after all, it is said that “perception is reality”. I have outlined such a valuation in my article: Relationship Capital in the Workplace, in which I suggest a simple rating system of -10 to 10.

Similar systems are already being used to rate vendors on eBay, books on Amazon.com and elsewhere.

Even if we can all agree to such a perceptive rating system, there is still the challenge of data collection how often must we way in on our perceptive value of every person in our network so we can track the ebb and flow of Relationship Capital?

This would certainly require some time and effort of research, our current world of high-speed internet and hand held mobile devices and social media should provide an acceptable forum.

And the benefits of such analysis would be considerable. With it we could:

1. Identify root cause of inefficiencies of an organization down to an individual
2. Identify true key performers for job placement/promotion
3. Promote accountability within any organization at all levels
4. Promote “social graces” through quantitative means
5. Measure effectiveness and impact of training/coaching initiatives within an organization
6. Determine how changes in specific messaging by management to employees improve or increase organizational effectiveness
7. Determine how changes in specific messaging to the public increases demand for products or services, or brand awareness
8. Develop a quantitative means of measuring human decency and performance
9. Developing a better “good will” calculation for valuating a company
10. Develop a “truer” economic system that is less subject to corruption
11. Better understand key moments in history and why they happened
12. Forecast future organizational health based upon known history and statistical modeling.

Time to Change Assumptions

Whether we want to mathematically model what’s going on when we deal in human relationships or not, we can at the very least work to take the path of least resistance in our own dealings by looking at minimizing Relational Resistance and its cause.

How will we do this?

By making better assumptions! From now on, we will assume that:

1. We will get more out of every relationship and will be less disappointed if we at least acknowledge that there is some quantity of Relational Resistance in every relationship
2. Relational Resistance exists on both sides of the relationship
3. We must take ownership of our own Relational Resistance and work, with the help of the other person in the relationship to minimize it
4. We must take responsibility to honestly and effectively communicate the means by which our partner in the relationship can reduce their own Relational Resistance.

Why will we make these assumptions?

Because we can.

Until next month…

* I use the term “death” here in quotes because relationships, like Relationship Capital (RC) can never be destroyed – see my article on the Fifth Law of Relationship Capital.

Adam J. Kovitz is the Chairman & Founder of The National Networker Group of Companies, which publish The National Networker (TNNW), provide member services and consulting as well as branding and social media domination.

For more about Adam J. Kovitz, please click here.

Hire Adam to speak at your next conference or event by emailing info@thenationalnetworker.com.

Follow Adam on Twitter!

The Emergence of the Relationship Economy

Relationship Capital is the cornerstone of the Relationship Economy, which RNIA defines as “a measurement assigned to individual and organizational entities based on the relationship interactions between them, and the interactions they have internally.” I am proud to have contributed discussion of the Ten Laws of Relationships Capital to The Emergence of the Relationship Economy, now out as an eBook and in hardcopy. With a forward written by Doc Searls (of Cluetrain Manifesto fame), it is being considered a “must read” for anyone responsible for the strategic direction of their business. If you would like to purchase your own copy of The Emergence of the Relationship Economy, please click here.

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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW). All rights reserved.

To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

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POWER THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Building Powerful Relationships, Part 1

Power Thought of the Week with Patricia Parham, Ph.D.

Showing Respect and Positive Regard

Politeness and pleasantries are just the beginning of showing respect and positive regard. These must be authentic, for people are more perceptive than animals, which definitely know when we don’t like them. Flattery, too, can be easily misconstrued. Positive feedback on a specific action or result and its impact shows that you have been paying attention and taking note of another’s accomplishments. Try it!

Patricia A. Parham
Parham Enterprises
www.parhamenterprises.com

For more information, please see Patricia's TNNW Bio.



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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW). All rights reserved.

To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

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A NOTE FROM THE CHAIRMAN: Twitter - The Good, The Bad & The Reality

by Adam J. Kovitz, Chairman & Founder

A few weeks ago, I asked our TNNW Newsletter subscribers (yes...subscription has its privileges) about Twitter and whether or not it's considered networking or something totally different. Here are just a few responses I received:

"You asked people to write about their feelings about networking vs Twitter, Face Book, etc. If you do not want younger members, clients, business associates, etc., by all means ignore social networking. Face-to-face is all you need – if you are planning to deal only with people over 60 or are about to shut down your business!

"I have a new Chamber Partner who is just finishing getting our Chamber of Commerce set up on everything! We are going to tweet, blog and anything else that reaches potential members (partners). For those who don’t think tweeting and blogging is necessary, I think it’s great – just that much more business for me!"

- Sue Thomas, President, Tarpon Springs Chamber of Commerce, Tarpon Springs, FL

"Regarding Twitter, I originally dismissed it as nonsense for teenagers as why would I want anyone to know what I'm doing, and I have never used it. Now between Twitter, Facebook, Linked-In, etc., etc., etc. and my blog group (link below) one can spend the whole day interacting in those realms and never get any work done and frankly I'm a bit confused."

- Roy Strauss, President, Strauss Consulting Group, Oakland NJ

"I use Twitter as a way to initiate relationships with people and also as a way to build social capital and providing a personal glimpse of who I am and what I do. Most of what happens in Twitter is noise and useless. Yet the very little that isn't noise can be pretty useful. I have started at least 7-10 relationships on Twitter that have grown to something more. In addition, many of my customers have seen (& commented) about my personal posts. This adds a new level of connection with them.

"So all in all, while I agree that Twitter is not quite networking, it can definitely add to the networking experience especially when used strategically.

"The other use for Twitter is also as a way to help promote others and build Social Capital for them. By helping build the visibility and credibility of fellow authors at TNNW, as well as other colleagues and clients, I am making it more likely that they will reciprocate at some point in the future. This is part of networking and the technology facilitates this process."

- Rick Itzkowich, Co-Founder, Productive Learning & Leisure, LLC & TNNW Columnist, Capistrano Beach, CA

One thing's for sure...Twitter is changing our lives. Just look at Twitter's role in allowing us an inside look at recent events in Iran, despite attempts on Iran's part to prevent disclosure of unrest after their recent elections. In this way, Twitter proves its use as a necessary communications and media tool. Could this possibly one day replace network news?

On the other hand, we've also recently seen Twitter at its worst. The recent death of Pop-icon Michael Jackson spawned an enormous response from fans throughout the "Twitterverse" that caused a crash on their servers, forcing Twitter to go temporally down.

My blood brother-in-arms, Douglas Castle and I have debated at length over the nature of Twitter and he sees it as a "powerful, high-speed, broadcast mechanism". Just like anything else, it is tool that can be used effectively or not so. When broadcasted effectively, Tweets can lead to building certain relationships, and therefore can lead to networking but it is not (in itself) networking. We both feel that it's important that in understanding the difference can save one a lot of heartache and wasted time.

No matter your perspective, it would seem that Twitter and other such services are part of history in the making. Hope you're enjoying the ride!

Follow Adam on Twitter

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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW). All rights reserved.

To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

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THE BOOM IN BOOMER NETWORKING: Tails From the Old Dawg

The Boom in Boomer Networking with Elaine Ingis

Tails From the Old Dawg
OLD DAWG NEW TRICKS

It is possible to learn new tricks at any age. When I say new tricks...I'm not referring to "playmates", but rather reinventing yourself to enjoy the life you have been dealt.

My name is Stuart and I am an inactive member of AARP...OMG, I joined the first year and received 1000's of unsolicited mail...not quite what I had in mind. I prefer invited guests to drop ins!

Are you over 50, 60, 70…are you a BOOMER?? Tired of doing the same thing year in and year out...silly question; most people are! Going "outside the box" tends to paralyze any "sane" person and hence...you keep doing what you are doing AND getting what you are getting. It’s time to go “insane”. SrmeetUp! is just one excellent way to “rev” up your life.

REJOICE IN YOUR INDIVIDUALISM

I have been climbing up the corporate ladder for over 20 years and enjoyed every minute of it...NOT!!! For the 20 years proceeding that, I was an actor...ran nightclubs...was a boxer...a cook...and all around nice guy...and enjoyed every minute of it...YES!!!!

Supporting and raising a family required compromise and sacrifice (happy to do it)...what I didn't realize is that I also relinquished my dreams, passions and zest for life (daily grind and financial hardship can do that).

My children are older, my wife and I are wonderful friends but separated (alas...). The financial burden continues but my need for zest, passion and a darn good time has reared its glorious head. I am embarking on a new life that has been dormant in me for decades...and I am THRILLED, EXHILARATED and downright giddy with fear and hope! GAME ON!!!

Hey BOOMERS…what do you wanna do??? The world truly can be your oyster…steamed…stewed…chowdered…breaded…or just plain on the half shell. It isn’t always the results but the act of attempting something that will give you a rush…remember it can be the chase…and not the capture (careful what you wish for…).

DO SOMETHING….take a course…ask out an old flame…sky dive…watch a porn film (be IN a porn film…lol). The very act of trying something no matter how small can lead to bigger steps and open windows or doors you thought were nailed shut.

Only you can look inside your own mind and contemplate what is possible…what have you given up…what have you sacrificed for the “good of someone else”…WELL…WHAT ABOUT YOU!!!…and frankly…NOTHING is impossible…you simply have to try!

You are as worthy as anyone else…with your own time frame. Age has no place in your dreams…age is a number designated by society to indicate what you are capable of and when...If you can dream it…you can do it!

Start right now...

I am not saying to shirk your responsibilities…I would NEVER let my family suffer because of my immediate needs…BUT…I count and I have a right to be happy right along with them. Happiness expands to fit all worlds.

Old dawgs CAN learn new tricks!!! ;-) This dawg is going to be an actor!!!

Stuart

In terms of reinventing myself, that is exactly what I am doing! I have run restaurants and nightclubs while pursuing an acting career in a past lifetime (20-25 years ago). I boxed out of Gleason's Gym during that same lifetime. I have been a short order cook (and chief bottle washer ;-)) along with other "interesting" vocations.

I reinvented myself 20 years ago when my daughter (and subsequently my son) was born. I left that sordid and "exciting" life behind to move up the corporate ladder in the personnel industry (NOT sordid and NOT exciting). I am currently a Sr. VP of Sales but am more then ready to "reinvent" again!!!

####

Stuart, I love your positive approach to everything, and I do mean everything. Your enthusiasm is contagious. No doubt SrmeetUp! will be hearing a lot about you and your new successes.

Elaine

For more about Elaine Ingis, please click here.

POWER THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Agency and Networks, Part 4

Power Thought of the Week with Patricia Parham, Ph.D.

Emotional Agency and Networks

Networks provide emotional and social support. Emergencies and low periods often trigger the desire to engage with others who have experienced similar situations. Sometimes, a coach or spiritual counselor affirms and guides one through challenging times. New networks develop to help people deal with contemporary issues, i.e., care for aging parents, children dealing with divorce, and post traumatic stress syndrome. The most simple of these share strategies for coping and give emotional support.

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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW). All rights reserved.

To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

You are also invited to click our buttons:




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UPDATES! - June, 2009, Week 4

JUNE, 2009, Week 4
UPDATE ISSUE 1 (New Format)

The NATIONAL NETWORKER is the process of dramatic change. We expect to implement these innovations, improvements and upgrades in Beta in the month of August. Of course there will be power outages, downtime and lots of excuses masquerading as explanations (i.e., "the long time to load the site was obviously caused by Global Warming'... and that sort of baloney); but then, all the big guys have that stuff, so these abnormal events will probably add to TNNW's credibility.

1. Our Newsletter will have an updated and upgraded look, increased interactivity with subscribers and richer, more useful content than ever before. It will be easier to find and follow your favorite authors (and to forward their articles). You will also be seeing some exciting new columns from some brand new authors who have honored us by joining us -- authors with unparalleled expertise, experience, writing style and messages of tremendous importance. Authors with whom you will be invited to interact, personally and professionally. Long story short - You got people. You know what else -- the Newsletter will continue to be free.


2. Our special blended Newsfeed (provisionally called the "National Newspicker") will contain the most important top stories and breaking news from a select group of the best media resources available on such subjects as (just to name a few): networking, communications, social media, navigating the New Web, leadership, team-building, growth through joint ventures, global relationship-building, new technologies, sources of capital for smaller and entrepreneurial companies, business plans and presentations, career growth, public relations and publicity, and new contacts and tools which can use. Our TNNW Select Newsfeed will be the only feed that you will need to read every day. You will make it a Favorite. It will also be available as a high-utility gadget. One day in the future, everything will be available as a Google Gadget.

3. Our completely updated and high-utility suite of Member Services will be more readily accessible, more user-friendly and more powerful than ever before. Subscribers will want to graduate to full Membership. Our new Interactive Calendar Of Events will revolutionize the way you promote your brand, services and meetings...in fact, the NATIONAL NETWORKER will dramatically change the way in which people organize their daily schedules and utilize their precious time. You will be impressed and enthralled.

4. We will be offering more partnership, capitalization, mentoring and joint venturing opportunities than ever before. The Networker will be rolling out a bunch of DIRECT CONNECT services where we will bring good people together. We won't be just talk - we will help you (as in "hands-on") to build beneficial relationships. We are not just writing...we are action. What other social media or "connection" service can make that claim? Look forward to cutting-edge proactive.

5. We will make you glad that you joined us and became a part of our growing, interactive international community. And of course, they'll be plenty of buttons...





6. If you haven't already taken TNNW Survey #88 on LEADERSHIP ["What must an effective leader do..."], please take a moment to take it now. It is very quick, and the results promise to be fascinating. Get the survey at http://twitlik.com/Response88 . Note: The deadline for submitting your opinion and thoughts is July 10th, and the results will be published publicly on July 18th. Every noteworthy organization in the world today, whether private sector or public sector, is facing a leadership crisis. We must identify those things that make certain persons leaders, find those people and persuade them to assume the responsibilities of leadership. Weigh in at http://twitlik.com/Response88.

7. Are you part of the ONE PERCENT? Find out: http://twitlik.com/OnePercent


As always, thank you for being a Subscriber, and for reading us. By the way, the re-formatted website will be a snap to navigate. We swear (too often).

With Great Things to Come,

Adam J. Kovitz and Douglas Castle






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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW). All rights reserved.

To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

You are also invited to click our buttons:




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THE REHUMANITIZATION OF NETWORKING - Why Should I Listen to You?

Whoever You Are:

This is my newly-featured column. Adam J. Kovitz (who loves to see his name in print) appeared to me in a vision and said, "Son, I believe it is time for you to write about whatever you want to write about, instead of the usual insipid, prosaic pap that I force you write about. Go off and build a life for yourself. Make me proud. Try not to be too graphic or use too much profanity."

I ask everyone -- WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU?

I receive more than 100 emails per hour, I belong to well in excess of 100 "social media" groups (and that's not including LinkedIn), and I literally receive dozens of news alerts, blog comments and ezine bulletins weekly. I am inundated (as is everyone else) with sensorial input. Most of what I receive is useless, meaningless junk.
For example:

- "How I get more followers on Twitter!";

- "Great App (Application) for Social Media -- MediaMashup";

- "Make money with your website...it's automatic...you can't stop earning money with this system (even if you want to!)";

- "Optimize Your Search Engine Ranking with Adwords!";

- "Coverage of the Business Roundtable Power Breakfast and Bowling Event in Izzard, Iowa.";

- "Make Your Summer The Best Networking Season of Your Year";

- "Biggest Payouts in the Industry!";

- "A Firmer Handshake -- A Better Connection";

- "Get Your Piece of The Government Bailout";

- "How Helping Others will Make Your Rich!';

- "How to get 25,000 Fans on your FaceBook Fan Page.";

- "Attitude Makes All the Difference";

- Viagra and Cialis solicitations in Cantonese;

- Offers from various corrupt, but very polite African Bankers from Burkina Faso, Nigeria, Liberia, and Diptheria whose rich client died (usually in a tragic plane crash) without heirs, and who want my personal cooperation (e.g., money) to access my unlawful inheritance, which I can then share with them. Note: They have sent this message to me because they have heard that I can be trusted -- probably as much as the rest of the persons on the 'undisclosed recipients' list of their email correspondence;

- A steaming, fly-laden manure mountain of open-ended, boring, questions like: "How Are You Going to Use Linked In to make 2010 Your Best Year Ever?" ... "Do you think that Blitter will make Twitter Obsolete?"

- "Five HOT Technology Stocks to Watch."

- "Personal Success Coach wants to show you how to become a winner overnight!";

- A veritable cesspool of stuff about branding, image-building, ranking, SEO, and other pop-culture or techo-fad acronym-laden stuff which someone thinks that I should be interested in.

Lastly, there are numerous items from various "Life Coaches" who do not, in fact, have lives of their own, "Success Coaches" who have yet to experience a single, credible success in achieving anything, and a host of other panderers who want to tell me things about having plenty of business cards handy, smiling, making eye contact, preparing a "one-minute commercial" for myself, and harnessing the power of The Law of Affinity.

This material (I've alluded to what the specific material actually is) is wasteful of my eyesight, my computer capacity of and my precious and fleeting time. When you waste my time, you insult me, you keep me from accomplishing other things, and you make me indifferent to you. You will have become a part of the increasing ambient background noise in a society where everyone is loudly hawking intangible, undefinable "stuff", and nobody is really buying any of it. I will not give you a second chance. Very few other people will either.

[By the way, this is not the time to utter something trite, like: "You only get one chance to make a first impression!" -- Don't speak in cliches and "conventional wisdom" -- Don't talk down to me, as if I were as stupid as my college transcript would indicate. I would like to think that you believe me to be intelligent...most people want to be thought of as intelligent, and to be treated as if they were].

You Ask (in a cynical, skeptical, perhaps even sarcastic tone, with your hands on your hips, or with your arms crossed over your chest) -- THEN WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU, DOUGLAS CASTLE?

I Respond (with a haughty attitude) -- You will listen to me because...

1. I will tell you important things that you don't already know, and which will improve your social, professional and financial success. Each will have an immediate, practical application. You will have actions to follow. Each will give you results.

2. I will engage you, and capture your attention and interest. I won't bore you with a trowelful of crap. I will offer you information and tools which you cannot find anywhere else.

3. I will be candid, and I won't patronize you. Ever.

4. I will occasionally make you laugh...either at me, at yourself, or at others. You will (despite yourself) enjoy what I write.

5. I will talk to you on a Human-to-Human basis.

Incidentally, if you want me to listen to you, here's what you should do:

1. Get my attention, in any way that you can --

2. Tell me something important and interesting ... speak with authority ... and put your unique personality into it ... make it about you and me ... if you are eccentric, it might actually help --

3. Give me an action or actions to take. I will await your command.

Here's a rule:

"If it's not interesting to you, it won't be interesting to your audience."

Tell me about what you know; what you are actually interested in; something which have a personal passion for. Don't be conventional. Conventional people never change anything, and they are boring as hell. Take your personality out of the moth balls (by the way, have you ever smelled moth balls?), brush it off and tell it, in no uncertain terms that it is your greatest personal asset. It is what separates you from the rest of the crowd.

Please stay tuned for my first real article, which should be coming up soon.

Thank you, one and all.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

*Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/douglascastle http://twitter.com/TNNW_BUZZWORKS
*Check me out: http://aboutDouglasCastle.blogspot.com http://www.LinkedIn.com/in/douglascastle

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