SALES AND MARKETING: The Art of Listening . . . for Success

Sales and Marketing with Bill Doerr

15 Second 'Speed Read'

Business people value a timely response from vendors. But they value an effective response even more. Effective listening - combining both active and empathic listening causes you to be seen as a person of interest and value.

This article explains WHY listening can be a challenge and HOW you can develop the ability to listen effectively, build relationships, invite trust and build revenues.

Listening is a Key Skill and Behavior

Public speaking. Everyone has taken a course in it or knows someone who did.

But, Public listening. Whoa! Where did THAT come from? Not so common, is it!

That's a problem. And, an opportunity . . . for you to develop an extremely important skill and artform: Listening.

Listening . . . taking in information and using it to engage, effectively with another person . . . is a skill-set that is not taught in schools. And yet, success in business depends heavily on your ability to process what people are saying and use it effectively.

Steve Porcaro - The Surgical Sales Coach

I had the pleasure of reconnecting with Steve recently. He's been 'on the circuit' a lot lately. He speaks before numerous networking groups, sharing his wealth of knowledge on various ways to improve revenues in these challenging times. Lately, 'listening' has been a very hot topic with his clients. For a good reason. It's a very valuable skill to possess!

"It's all about sales" (or, is it?)

Steve is a business coach who works exclusively with people who are selling medical equipment and services to physicians and other health care professionals.

"Someone becomes my client because he (or, she) is not getting sales as easily or extensively as he'd like. He's not sure why. And often externalizes the source of the problem citing: "It's the economy" or "My company isn't competititve" or something similar."

In many cases, blame-scaping on an external factor . . . the economy, the company, the product, the marketplace, etc. only serves to take the focus (and, pressure!) off of the one constant in every case . . . the person who's responsible for generating new revenues.

Sellling is Like Surgery

Before becoming a 'surgical sales coach' Steve actually was in surgery. A lot. In the US Navy, he was a surgical technician. After leaving the Navy, he sold medical equipment and services to civilian surgeons. So he knows the reality of both selling and surgery, first-hand.

"In surgery, you prep (prepare) the patient BEFORE surgery". Seems obvious. In an operating room! But in the business world . . . in sales . . . your preparation requires your ability and commitment to listen . . . to process what is being said by someone . . . before selling can begin.

"If you don't listen . . . you can't prepare to sell as effectively as you might like . . . and you learn that when, symptomatically, you lose sales you should have won, they take longer to close than you might like or you end up with a lesser sale when a greater one was well within your grasp."

Why People Aren't Listening

I asked Steve, "OK, why . . . aren't more people in business listening effectively - especially when the consequences of not listening are so serious?" "Good question", he said. "If I had to, I'd have to say either:

1. they don't know how to listen - it is, afterall, a learned skill, not a natural one
2. they're not used to 'slowing down' and 'digesting' the information they receive from a prospect" (the 'Ready, Aim . . . FIRE! syndrome)
3. they haven't considered the consequences that not listening effectively will produce
4. they're in a 'comfort zone' with their current level of success

Once you're receptive to change (Porcaro-speak for 'frustrated beyond all belief') then . . . you are ready to learn how to listen effectively. But, how?

Make 'Bare-handed' Calls!

"You must clear your mind. That way, your focus is on the other person, not you" (I swear, I thought I saw David Carradine there for a moment!) "When you first meet with a prospect for example, I recommend leaving all your brochures, pamphlets, etc. in the car and just seek to answer one simple question . . . "How might I help you, today?" or "What are you hoping I can do for you?" Either one will work!"

This type of question helps you focus on 'getting the top off of the soda bottle'. Unless and until you do that, the bottle's contents . . . the person's hopes, fears, dreams, goals, frustrations, etc. . . . will remain 'locked up' -- unavailable and unable to help anyone.

"It's not easy to do this" says Porcaro. "But it's not impossible, either." Steve believes listening is a learned skill more than a natural ability. "Until you do though, you're focusing more on giving your information to someone, than allowing their information to flow to you".

What's The 'Next Step'?

"Information gained from a focused conversation with someone must lead to a decision". I could imagine the granite rock on which that expression is kept in Steve's brain! Actually, Steve refers to that as the 'Next Step'. "Sometimes, there isn't one. But often there is. And the best one reflects whatever you learned by LISTENING to the other person!"

Everyday we connect with other people. How many of these points-of-contact are producing value . . . for both parties?

Listening effectively . . . actively and empathetically . . . will do much to ensure that you glean something useful from every conversation you have.

Final Thoughts

I asked Steve, "If there's ONE thing you'd like someone to take away from this article, what would it be?". He thought about it and said, "I like what Steven Covey said, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood". There's a sequence there - an orderliness. When I worked with surgeons, their success was always based on proper preparation . . . of the patient as well as themselves and the entire surgical team. Great results are often more reflective of great preparation than anything else. It's no different in business or networking. People. Communication. Every day each of us is exchanging information to create value for ourselves and others. So just remember . . . it all begins with learning how . . . and caring to . . . LISTEN!"

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Steve Porcaro, ACC is the 'Surgical Sales Coach' and founder of 1•4•All Coaching in Windsor, CT. To learn more about Steve and his services you can contact Steve Porcaro, ACC online at: www.14allcoaching.com or by phone at: (860) 243-9757.

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Bill Doerr is CCO of SellMore Marketing. He helps professionals and other service providers to market their problem-solving expertise simply, effectively and affordably.

You can reach him at www.sellmoremarketing.com, or by phone at 860-798-6964.

For more please see Bill's TNNW Bio.

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Published by THE NATIONAL NETWORKER Newsletter. All rights reserved. Subscribe Free - Click HERE.
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SALES AND MARKETING: The Art of Listening . . . for Success

PEOPLE, POWER AND POSSIBILITIES: Listen Up!

People, Power and Possibilities with Donna Fisher

True listening creates connection! Not the kind of listening where you're partially hearing what someone is saying while thinking about what you're going to say. Listening creates connection when you give your full attention to someone and are mentally engaged in what they are saying.

True listening requires the ability to focus on someone else and give up being self-focused or self-oriented. The mentality required to be a true listener involves the following:

A. Give people delighted attention. Whether you agree with what someone is saying or not, imagine simply be pleased to be in conversation with them to learn more about what they think and feel.

B. Be curious and interested in knowing more about the person and you will be just naturally more engaged in the conversation.

C. Don't rush people. Be patient and show people that they are important and that you really do want to hear what they have to say.

D. Stay present to the conversation. It is very easy for the mind to wander; and yet, very important to stay focused.

E. Pick up on the non-verbal communication so that you can understand all of what's being communicated.

F. Listen for an opportunity to be of service. Rather than just listening "to" someone, listen "for" information that will help you better understand how to be a resource for this person.

I don't believe that people are inherently good or bad listeners. Instead, I believe that it all has to do with our habits. Enhancing your listening skills is as simple as integrating some of the ideas from above into new habits in your way of being with people.

It is through listening that you connect. People in our culture are hungry to be really heard and will really appreciate someone who truly listens.

For more information, please visit Donna's TNNW Bio.

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PEOPLE, POWER AND POSSIBILITIES: Listen Up!

SOUTH AFRICA: Cell Phones During Meetings - How Serious are You to Build Your Business Relationships?

By Karl Smith
South Africa Bureau Chief

Today I want to talk about a trend in the business environment namely “cell phones during meetings”. I might have missed these during my formal studies or perhaps a business grooming school in South Africa or elsewhere are training business people to be experts in it. If you know of such institution, please let me know. I was having a coffee at a restaurant in Durbanville (Cape Town) after my keynote speech at a business network breakfast. I left the event satisfied that attendees not only learned some vital relationship-building skills but they showed delight in the fact that it was not another eating - and - speech presentation: they were involved and made contacts!

Enjoying a cup of coffee after the delivery of a keynote or workshop is a ritual I follow before moving to my next task. Whilst sipping my coffee, a loudly spoken gentleman - dressed smartly in a very expensive business suit - introduced himself to someone who seemed to be a prospective client. Now you know, nowadays with cell (mobile) phones around - you can hear everything without eavesdropping, because many cell phone users are loud! He interrupted the meeting with his conversation partner at least four times to answer the phone. You may or may not know that active listening with sufficient eye contact and a warm smile, when appropriate, are key ingredients in showing sincere interest in your conversation partner. What I cannot understand is how so many people make contact, secure an appointment and then enter the meeting with his/her cell phone switched on. I understand if one expects an urgent call and you declare this before you start the meeting e.g. “Karl, I value your time but I am keeping my phone switched on because…). And then only for serious matters!

However, one finds these days that some people request meetings with you and then use half of your time to engage in conversations with others on their cell phones. This habit is not restricted to business meetings - just have a look at how many bosses are sitting with their cell phones switched on while they have meetings with their employees. What message do you think are you sending out to your conversation partner? Are you sincerely interested in his/her needs? Are they so unimportant? Do you fear that you next deal may be better? It is nothing less then face-to-face cold calling and then you wonder why people don’t buy you, your products, service or ideas?

John Maxwell in his book, 25 Ways to Win with People, stresses the importance of listening for people’s feeling not just their ideas. Says Peter Drucker, “The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.” One should put oneself in a good mental environment for listening says Maxell. If you are aware of a grooming school where they groom business people that it is acceptable business etiquette to enter meetings with cell phones switched on – then please let me know!


Karl Smith is South Africa’s Business Networking & Referral Coach and the owner of ExecuEdge Consulting - a successful consulting and business relationships training company. Visit www.businessnetworkingsouthafrica.co.za to see Karl in action, see what Karl’s clients says, book Karl to speak or to do in-company training, attend a public event, subscribe to his newsletter or to use the free networking resources.

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SOUTH AFRICA: Cell Phones During Meetings - How Serious are You to Build Your Business Relationships?

BEYOND NETWORKING: BEING: “Great Listeners Have Great Connection”

Beyond Networking: Being with Ron Sukenick

As many of you know, listening is one of the most sought after marketing tools of all time.

In fact, why is it so hard to find a good listener?

Here’s another question - When was the last time anyone said to you - Thanks for taking the time to listen?

Has it been awhile?

So without further ado, allow me to share a few of the many great listening quotes that are out there.

If you have a favorite listening quote, please don’t to hesitate to send it to me.

I can always get better at this thing called – listening.

Enjoy.


The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. — Ralph Nichols


Effective listeners remember that "words have no meaning - people have meaning." The assignment of meaning to a term is an internal process; meaning comes from inside us. And although our experiences, knowledge and attitudes differ, we often misinterpret each other’s messages while under the illusion that a common understanding has been achieved. — Larry Barker


Our first responsibility as effective listeners is to understand ourselves as communicators. Just as the sources of the communication message shout are trained in self-intrapersonal communication, so, too, should listeners know themselves? — Carolyn Coakley

Every person in this life has something to teach me -- and as soon as I accept that, I open myself to truly listening. — Catherine Doucette

We listen in order to learn and retain information. If we are speaking, we are not listening or learning anything to add to our sum of knowledge. This is why the first step to effective listening is to stop talking! — Ken Fracaro

Listening effectively to others can be the most fundamental and powerful communication tool of all. When someone is willing to stop talking or thinking and begin truly listening to others, all of their interactions become easier, and communication problems are all but eliminated. — Ken Johnson

The contrast between hearing and really listening can be as different as night and day. And in a business environment, not listening effectively to customers, employees, and peers can mean the difference between success and failure. — Ken Johnson

Listening well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well. — John Marshall

When making personal decisions, listen to what your head says; then listen to what your heart says. If they differ, follow your heart! Whenever you listen to your heart, you listen to that part of you that is most interested in your well-being. — Anonymous


This is a time to give the gift of listening. There are an unknowable but very large number of folks who could really be helped with our listening to them. I know your hearts are all very warm and giving. Please, take time to listen to those around you.
- Richard D. Halley,



My only advice is to stay aware, listen carefully and yell for help if you need it. — Judy Blume

I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying. — Charles C. Finn


History repeats itself because no one listens the first time. — Anonymous

A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener. — Anonymous

The older I grow the more I listen to people who don’t talk much. — Germain G. Glien

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. — Humphrey Hubert

One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening. — Franklin P. Jones

Just because I didn’t do what you told me, doesn’t mean I wasn’t listening to you! — Hank Ketcham

The opposite of talking is not listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. — Fran Lebowitz

Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing, nobody listens and then everybody disagrees. — Will Rogers

Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening. — Dorothy Sarnoff

A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat. — Katharine Whitehorn


It seems that we shall eventually come to believe that the responsibility for effective oral communication must be equally shared by speakers and listeners. When this transpires, we shall have taken a long stride toward greater economy in learning, accelerated personal growth, and significantly deepened human understanding. — Ralph NicholsI

Talk less--you will automatically learn more, hear more, see more--and make fewer blunders. — Mark McCormack


You talk, you repeat what you already know; when you listen, and you often learn something. — Jared Sparks


- Ron Sukenick

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BEYOND NETWORKING: BEING: “Great Listeners Have Great Connection”

PEOPLE, POWER & POSSIBILITIES: Are You Asking the Right Questions?

People, Power & Possibilities with Donna Fisher

Networking weaves together listening, offering, thanking and, of course, asking – asking for leads, referrals, contacts, information, support. It's all about knowing how to ask, when to ask and most important to ask the right questions. And the right question is the one that is easy for someone to respond to and give you valuable information.

Tips for asking:

Initially ask questions that help to put people at ease (a question that is easy to answer).

Typically ask open-ended questions that help to generate interaction.

Ask for support once you have developed rapport or offered support.

Ask when you are able to have the other person's full attention.

Ask while respecting their time and availability.

Ask "Who do you know who . . . " questions (rather than "Do you know anybody . . . ?"

Ask with specificity (rather than making a request that's so broad it's difficult to respond).

Ask with enough information so that people can respond and without overwhelming people with too much information (give people a chance to ask for more information if they need it).

Ask with clarity and confidence (don't beat around the bush and don't use guilt or manipulation).

Get in the habit of asking so that it flows easily and naturally.

Remember that asking someone for help or support is an acknowledgment of them (it shows that you value their support).

Ask for contacts in your target market but don't expect people to qualify your prospects for you. Ask people how you can be of help to them.

Ask in a non-demanding, assertive manner so that people can feel good about "choosing" to respond.

Donna Fisher

www.donnafisher.com

donna@donnafisher.com

Houston, TX

713-789-2484

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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER. To subscribe for your free newsletter, go to www.TheNationalNetworker.com. For the complete National Networker Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free, continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com. You are also invited to click our buttons:

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PEOPLE, POWER & POSSIBILITIES: Are You Asking the Right Questions?

Strategy Five: Provide a Joyful Experience to Others

Beyond Networking: Being with Ron Sukenick

Ron's section is sponsored by SmallBizAmerica.com

As you develop your relationship wisdom, you will be more and more aware of what a joyful experience for the other might be. The essence of this strategy is that there are many ways to provide joyful experiences. Bringing creativity and a fresh approach to all your interactions incorporates joy and escalates your relationships to the next level.

Often you may see what needs to be done in the moment. Other times, keeping a journal of all the people you meet and feel a connection to, jotting down their interests, an idea may come that you can later act upon.

Linking the interest of the other person to the action that we take provides a mutually rewarding joyful experience.

Other helpful hints and reminders in providing joyful experiences to others:

1. Say goodbye to people you meet for the first time.
2. Listen intensely to others.
3. Get out of the way---and allow the person you are speaking with to be the most important person in the room.

Thinking point for connection forward - What action steps will you immediately take to provide a joyful experience to others?

Ron Sukenick is the Chief Relationship Officer and founder of the Relationship Strategies Institute, a training and Relationship development company that provides innovative, effective and relevant programs and systems for corporations, organizations, and associations. To learn more about the value of Relationship Development, visit his Web site at www.Ronsukenick.com . You can reach Ron by phone at: 317-216-8210, or by email.

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Strategy Five: Provide a Joyful Experience to Others

Strategy Four: Listen Three Times as Much With Purpose: Finding Joint Rhythm & Harmony

Beyond Networking: Being with Ron Sukenick

Ron's section is sponsored by SmallBizAmerica.com

Finding joint rhythm and harmony requires practice, practice, practice AND the ability to adjust your communication style to the needs of your partner. When you listen with purpose you are better able to get to the “heart” of an issue, and make relational changes to get back on the same page. Listening three times as much provides the following opportunities. You get more from the interaction, you affirm the person or persons you are listening to, your understanding of the message is greatly enhanced, and you lay the foundation for increased cooperation and collaboration. Following is an assessment to help shed light on your listening awareness.

Respond to the following statements, and rate yourself below. Give yourself 3 points for always; 2 points for sometimes; 1 point for rarely; and 0 points for never.

I am aware that to listen effectively I must listen with a purpose.

I have trained myself to listen three times as much as I speak.

I listen for understanding
rather than evaluation.

I use clarification to ensure that I am understanding what is being said as the person speaks.

I recognize the importance of my non-verbal expressions communicated to the
speaker.

I am aware of the word, phrases, or behaviors that will likely make me feel defensive.

I wait until the speaker has finished before responding.

People often thank me for listening.

I concentrate on what the speaker is saying even though other things may distract me.

I am able to exercise emotional control when listening, even if I disagree with the message.

I realize that listening purposefully may be the key to understanding.

I listen for ideas and feelings as well as facts.

Score:

16 or less - We suggest that you practice, practice, practice.

17-22 - Spend more time on purposeful listening.

23-29 - Purposeful listening is natural for you.

30+ - You are an exceptional listener!

What are the action steps that will lead your listening forward? For example, sign up for a course on listening. Or, choose a relationship that needs “listening attention” and practice! Whatever your action is, remember to note it in your calendar!

What action steps will you take? Add these steps to your calendar right now.

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Ron Sukenick is the Chief Relationship Officer and founder of the Relationship Strategies Institute, a training and Relationship development company that provides innovative, effective and relevant programs and systems for corporations, organizations, and associations. To learn more about the value of Relationship Development, visit his Web site at www.Ronsukenick.com . You can reach Ron by phone at: 317-216-8210, or by email.

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Strategy Four: Listen Three Times as Much With Purpose: Finding Joint Rhythm & Harmony