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Sunday, September 07, 2008

Strategy Four: Listen Three Times as Much With Purpose: Finding Joint Rhythm & Harmony

Beyond Networking: Being with Ron Sukenick

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Finding joint rhythm and harmony requires practice, practice, practice AND the ability to adjust your communication style to the needs of your partner. When you listen with purpose you are better able to get to the “heart” of an issue, and make relational changes to get back on the same page. Listening three times as much provides the following opportunities. You get more from the interaction, you affirm the person or persons you are listening to, your understanding of the message is greatly enhanced, and you lay the foundation for increased cooperation and collaboration. Following is an assessment to help shed light on your listening awareness.

Respond to the following statements, and rate yourself below. Give yourself 3 points for always; 2 points for sometimes; 1 point for rarely; and 0 points for never.

I am aware that to listen effectively I must listen with a purpose.

I have trained myself to listen three times as much as I speak.

I listen for understanding
rather than evaluation.

I use clarification to ensure that I am understanding what is being said as the person speaks.

I recognize the importance of my non-verbal expressions communicated to the

I am aware of the word, phrases, or behaviors that will likely make me feel defensive.

I wait until the speaker has finished before responding.

People often thank me for listening.

I concentrate on what the speaker is saying even though other things may distract me.

I am able to exercise emotional control when listening, even if I disagree with the message.

I realize that listening purposefully may be the key to understanding.

I listen for ideas and feelings as well as facts.


16 or less - We suggest that you practice, practice, practice.

17-22 - Spend more time on purposeful listening.

23-29 - Purposeful listening is natural for you.

30+ - You are an exceptional listener!

What are the action steps that will lead your listening forward? For example, sign up for a course on listening. Or, choose a relationship that needs “listening attention” and practice! Whatever your action is, remember to note it in your calendar!

What action steps will you take? Add these steps to your calendar right now.


Ron Sukenick is the Chief Relationship Officer and founder of the Relationship Strategies Institute, a training and Relationship development company that provides innovative, effective and relevant programs and systems for corporations, organizations, and associations. To learn more about the value of Relationship Development, visit his Web site at . You can reach Ron by phone at: 317-216-8210, or by email.

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The Emergence of The Relationship Economy

The Emergence of The Relationship Economy
The Emergence of the Relationship Economy features TNNWC Founder, Adam J. Kovitz as a contributing author and contains some of his early work on The Laws of Relationship Capital. The book is available in hardcopy and e-book formats. With a forward written by Doc Searls (of Cluetrain Manifesto fame), it is considered a "must read" for anyone responsible for the strategic direction of their business. If you would like to purchase your own copy, please click the image above.


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