People, Power and Possibilities with Donna FisherTrue listening creates connection! Not the kind of listening where you're partially hearing what someone is saying while thinking about what you're going to say. Listening creates connection when you give your full attention to someone and are mentally engaged in what they are saying.
True listening requires the ability to focus on someone else and give up being self-focused or self-oriented. The mentality required to be a true listener involves the following:
A. Give people delighted attention. Whether you agree with what someone is saying or not, imagine simply be pleased to be in conversation with them to learn more about what they think and feel.
B. Be curious and interested in knowing more about the person and you will be just naturally more engaged in the conversation.
C. Don't rush people. Be patient and show people that they are important and that you really do want to hear what they have to say.
D. Stay present to the conversation. It is very easy for the mind to wander; and yet, very important to stay focused.
E. Pick up on the non-verbal communication so that you can understand all of what's being communicated.
F. Listen for an opportunity to be of service. Rather than just listening "to" someone, listen "for" information that will help you better understand how to be a resource for this person.
I don't believe that people are inherently good or bad listeners. Instead, I believe that it all has to do with our habits. Enhancing your listening skills is as simple as integrating some of the ideas from above into new habits in your way of being with people.
It is through listening that you connect. People in our culture are hungry to be really heard and will really appreciate someone who truly listens.
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