THE STRESS OF SUCCESS: What Do You Stand For?

The Stress of Success with Cinda Hocking, LMSW

We can easily tell people what we stand against. Listen to most people and their day is a litany of what went wrong – what they don’t like, don’t want, and don’t wish to experience. However, when it comes to turning the focus to what we stand for, we are usually far less prolific or articulate.

Watch your behavior for a day. How many times are your thoughts, words and actions focused on what is wrong, unsatisfactory, insufficient, disappointing, frustrating and ignorant both in others and within yourself? How many times a day are your thoughts words and actions about what is right, valuable, positive and true in others and in yourself? How many times are you looking backwards in regret or forward in fear at what was not or is not working instead of supporting and improving what is what is working and creating improved or new solutions?

Of course it is not helpful to deny or hide from the truth that there are serious challenges facing our world on all levels - from global issues to community crises to individual stressors. However, when the focus is only on the darkness, how can you bring light to the situation? Does staying overwhelmed by the admittedly daunting horror and sadness help create solutions to them? Or, do we need to find a way to keep moving forward?

By simply aligning with and being true to your own essence, showing what it is you stand for you start becoming an example of how to be a beacon in the darkness. Those flashes of light help inspire others to rise to their potential instead of fall into despair. We don’t need more Polly Annas or Chicken Littles. Denying and ignoring the dark side is just as foolish as indulging and succumbing to the dark side, and neither extreme helps us learn to live with more compassion.

There is a wealth of barely explored options and uncharted possibilities and human potential waiting to be developed. Yes, it is far more difficult to stay focused on solution building than it is to list what is wrong with the world. But, making things work better is infinitely more rewarding than complaining – but it takes work! When you are tempted to fall into the traps of depressive cynicism or deny the reality of suffering, balance yourself by realizing that unconscious conditioned reactions cause lots of problems in all areas of life, but we humans also have innate creativity and abilities to train ourselves to live a more balanced and harmonious life. Complaining is easy, pretending everything is fine is a bit harder, but the hardest and most rewarding work is to take charge and direct our lives consciously. Do one thing to show what you stand for. Starting Right Here Right Now.

Cinda Hocking, LMSW
Health and Wellness Lifestyle Counselor


For more information, please visit Cinda's TNNW Bio.



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BEING THERE WHEN IT COUNTS: Will Your Customers and Prospects Next Purchase be From You or a Competitor?

Being There When it Counts with Rick Itzkowich

On page 63 of his book The Ultimate Sales Machine, Chet Holmes reveals that only three percent of potential buyers in a given market, at any given time are buying now. His research also concludes that an additional seven percent of the market’s population is open to the idea of buying. This means that almost 90% of the people in our target market will be buying at some point in the future. Unless we happen to be in front of them when they are ready to buy, they will buy from someone else.

A few years ago I surveyed a large group of solopreneurs and service professionals and asked what methods they used to systematically stay in touch with their prospects, customers and clients. To my surprise, 87% of the respondents didn’t have a system in place. This one-two punch is one of the main reasons why small business owners and service professionals often struggle with their sales.

One of my favorite examples to illustrate this point is the story of a gentleman I met at a networking event who was selling ink cartridges for printers. It just happened that my printer was running low on ink, and I was ready, right then and there, to buy a replacement cartridge. I was among the three percent. I ordered from him and got great service, quality and price. So far so good.

Three months later I needed to replace my cartridge. However I couldn’t find his business card. He hadn’t stayed in contact with me, and I had no way to order from him. He missed out on that sale – and every sale since from me. That was over five years ago. How many other sales did he lose by not gathering contact information from the people he sold to—and using that data to stay in touch with them?

Unfortunately, this scenario repeats itself every day with thousands of business people. Many of these folks may even be out of business or are barely surviving. And more than likely, they are blaming the economy. Whether you use a monthly email newsletter, send postcard reminders or tips or a daily email text touch to your contacts, I assure you – you will see results.

Simple math tells you that the more frequent you can be top of mind with prospects, customers and clients, the more chances you are to catch them when they move into the three percent of those who are buying now. How often are you giving your customers and prospects the chance to be reminded of the value you bring to them?

This month’s QuoteAction is by Management Guru, Peter Drucker
“The problem in my life and other people's lives is not the absence of knowing what to do, but the absence of doing it.”

Your action for this month is to implement a consistent, easy system to increase the frequency of contact with your prospects, customers and clients.

Enjoy an Extraordinary Month!

Click *here* to find out more about QuoteActions and some of the other innovative products and services offered by THE NATIONAL NETWORKER.

As the creator of the QuoteActions, a unique relationship building system, Rick Itzkowich finds his articles, podcasts and blog messages regarding keeping your brand "top of mind" in high demand. His latest eBook, Social Networking for Business Profits, uses cost-effective follow up strategies. Rick is also the Co-founder and Vice President of Productive Learning & Leisure, a personal development training company for corporations and individuals. Rick can be reached at rick@productivelearning.com.

For more about Rick Itzkowich, please click here.

THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW):
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BECAUSE I CAN: Why Givers Don’t Always Gain and Why the “Law” of Reciprocity is Bullsh!t

Because I Can with Adam J. Kovitz

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”

- Henry Winkler

Last month I introduced the concept of “Insani-FREE”, the assumption that many people (I’m sure you’re not one of them) make about the concept of “FREE”, and how this leads to the “death”* of many a business/professional relationship. Nothing sucks more than being the person on the giving end of a relationship who has to deal with a taker who:

1. Doesn’t understand the value of what you’re offering
2. Takes without showing appreciation, or
3. Takes without giving back.

But Adam…what about “Giver’s gain”, “the Golden Rule”, “the Law of Reciprocity”, or even “The Tenth Law of Relationship Capital”?

Shouldn’t we get back everything we give away? In fact, shouldn’t we get back more that what we give?

The answer to the last two questions are unequivocally, “yes”, provided:

1. You live in a vacuum
2. You live in Fantasy Land, or
3. You happen to be really, really lucky.

For the rest of us ordinary folks who have to put up with reality, why do some people give and give of themselves to others and not get back what they feel they rightfully deserve?

To this I answer, “Because we have obviously made some wrong assumptions here”. Let’s take a look at these assumptions more closely and even use the commonly-accepted Laws of the Known Universe – I love using Newtonian Physics - to explain what is really happening here.

Why?

Because I can…

Don’t Be Such a Drag

How often have you dealt with those who cannot appreciate you for who you are and what you do? We have often referred to such people as “drags”, “energy vampires” or in the corporate world we say that they’re not good “team-players”. Have you ever stopped to really think about why we say such things?

Let’s to that now…

The Law of Conservation of Energy is appropriate here. It states that:

Energy can neither be created nor destroyed.

Or put into more formulaic terms:

E_in = E_out

What this means is that if I put energy into a system (a relationship is one such example of a system), I should get the same amount of energy out.

So when we put a lot of energy into a relationship with someone who is a “drag”, “energy vampire” or not a good “team player”, we should get the same amount back out of it…correct?

Yes.

So why is it that it feels like there is less energy there such that we often end up being “disenfranchised”, “disappointed”, “disenchanted” and/or just “dissed”?

Because the energy that comes back to you is, indeed, diminished, leading you to feel that your energy was wasted.

Why?

Because any physical system, be it mechanical, hydrodynamic, thermodynamic, electrical, chemical, financial or even relational all suffer from energy loss in the form of friction, drag, resistance, etc., so our original equation can be rewritten:

E_given = E_taken + E_lost

So when we look at the so-called “Law” of Reciprocity and make the wrongful assumption that we will get back everything we put in to a relationship all the time, we do not take into account “Relational Resistance” – the individual G-d-given free will that the other party in the relationship possesses that will either make magic or lead to disappointment.

I am hoping that by now you are beginning to see that we can analyze organizational/team/network effectiveness much in the same way aeronautical engineers design a new aircraft or the controller/CFO determines the financial stability of a corporation? It doesn’t matter the application – the same formula holds true.

From an aeronautical engineering perspective, E_given relates to the energy value of fuel needed for an aircraft to work according to design specifications, E_taken is the thrust or speed of the aircraft and E_lost is the drag and the weight of the aircraft.

From a financial perspective, E_given can relate to revenue, E_taken is the profit and E_lost is the loss due to expenses.

Resistance is Futile

So if we can perform such analysis on aircraft, finance, hydroelectric dams, plus a myriad of other systems, why don’t we do it with human relational systems?

Simple…resistance.

Resistance to what?

The idea that it can’t be done. I’ve heard arguments that it’s impossible to quantify or valuate the energy people put into such relational systems.

My counter-argument to this is that we can value such things by the means of our own perceptional perspectives – after all, it is said that “perception is reality”. I have outlined such a valuation in my article: Relationship Capital in the Workplace, in which I suggest a simple rating system of -10 to 10.

Similar systems are already being used to rate vendors on eBay, books on Amazon.com and elsewhere.

Even if we can all agree to such a perceptive rating system, there is still the challenge of data collection how often must we way in on our perceptive value of every person in our network so we can track the ebb and flow of Relationship Capital?

This would certainly require some time and effort of research, our current world of high-speed internet and hand held mobile devices and social media should provide an acceptable forum.

And the benefits of such analysis would be considerable. With it we could:

1. Identify root cause of inefficiencies of an organization down to an individual
2. Identify true key performers for job placement/promotion
3. Promote accountability within any organization at all levels
4. Promote “social graces” through quantitative means
5. Measure effectiveness and impact of training/coaching initiatives within an organization
6. Determine how changes in specific messaging by management to employees improve or increase organizational effectiveness
7. Determine how changes in specific messaging to the public increases demand for products or services, or brand awareness
8. Develop a quantitative means of measuring human decency and performance
9. Developing a better “good will” calculation for valuating a company
10. Develop a “truer” economic system that is less subject to corruption
11. Better understand key moments in history and why they happened
12. Forecast future organizational health based upon known history and statistical modeling.

Time to Change Assumptions

Whether we want to mathematically model what’s going on when we deal in human relationships or not, we can at the very least work to take the path of least resistance in our own dealings by looking at minimizing Relational Resistance and its cause.

How will we do this?

By making better assumptions! From now on, we will assume that:

1. We will get more out of every relationship and will be less disappointed if we at least acknowledge that there is some quantity of Relational Resistance in every relationship
2. Relational Resistance exists on both sides of the relationship
3. We must take ownership of our own Relational Resistance and work, with the help of the other person in the relationship to minimize it
4. We must take responsibility to honestly and effectively communicate the means by which our partner in the relationship can reduce their own Relational Resistance.

Why will we make these assumptions?

Because we can.

Until next month…

* I use the term “death” here in quotes because relationships, like Relationship Capital (RC) can never be destroyed – see my article on the Fifth Law of Relationship Capital.

Adam J. Kovitz is the Chairman & Founder of The National Networker Group of Companies, which publish The National Networker (TNNW), provide member services and consulting as well as branding and social media domination.

For more about Adam J. Kovitz, please click here.

Hire Adam to speak at your next conference or event by emailing info@thenationalnetworker.com.

Follow Adam on Twitter!

The Emergence of the Relationship Economy

Relationship Capital is the cornerstone of the Relationship Economy, which RNIA defines as “a measurement assigned to individual and organizational entities based on the relationship interactions between them, and the interactions they have internally.” I am proud to have contributed discussion of the Ten Laws of Relationships Capital to The Emergence of the Relationship Economy, now out as an eBook and in hardcopy. With a forward written by Doc Searls (of Cluetrain Manifesto fame), it is being considered a “must read” for anyone responsible for the strategic direction of their business. If you would like to purchase your own copy of The Emergence of the Relationship Economy, please click here.

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To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

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WORKING WITHIN: Networking From A Different Perspective

Working Within with Leanne Hoagland-Smith

What is networking? Where does networking take place? Business professionals have their own definition and favorite geographic locations.

Yet, the power of networking to build loyal customers, centers of influence and strategic partnerships is being greatly diminished because the definition has been somewhat corrupted in the haste to increase sales.

Lillian Bjorseth, author of Breakthrough Networking, provides one of the best definitions that I have read. Networking is “mutually beneficial relationships.” For many business professionals to small business owners to C Level Executives, the focus of networking is very much about external beneficial relationships. Yet, if we believe Lillian’s definition is accurate, then why is business networking restricted to external relationships for so many? This focus, on external relationships, is the source of corruption.

In attempt to bring the focus on networking back to its primary origins, this column, “Working Within” will be on the internal relationships within any business and how by using the same or similar external networking behaviors can dramatically improve business results. As Marcel Proust once wrote, “the true voyage of discovery is not seeking new landscapes, but seeing the same landscape with new eyes.”

Just imagine for a moment if you could establish mutually beneficial relationships between your internal customers (your employees). How would these “working within” relationships:

Reduce costs?

Improve productivity?

Increase team building?

Create a culture of high performance?

Build a following of loyal external customers?

Unfortunately due to the human condition as well as current business practices, many organizations are a series of unconnected silos (think the word “departments”) where employees operate in isolation and start to believe that everyone else in the organization is uncooperative. There are existing individual beliefs combined with the cultural conditioning from the organization that reinforce chasms between those department procedures and protocols. These communication chasms only further contribute to the multitude of reasons not to build internal relationships. The old expression “people leave managers and not companies” is a reflection of how internal networking is not valued.

With human capital talent being the most expensive asset in all organizations and the most under valued, building mutually beneficial internal relationships makes just good business sense. Now is the time to reconsider networking from an internal perspective. You just may be surprised as to the improvement in your bottom line.

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BREAKTHROUGH NETWORKING: What do the Fourth of July and Face-to-face Networking Have in Common?

Breakthrough Networking with Lillian Bjorseth

“Men, you are marksmen – don’t any of you fire until you see the whites of their eyes.” Those oft-repeated words from Gen. Israel Putman were spoken while he was commanding the Revolutionary Army at the Battle of Bunker Hill. Every year as we celebrate the birth of the United States of America, I remind people that the best relationships are also begun when you see the whites of someone’s eyes.

Lest I be misunderstood in this age of online networking (I won’t call it online social networking because face-to-face is definitely social, too!), I want to share immediately that I believe both methods are important and compatible.

Face-to-face took a beating for a while as people clamored to become part of the now generation. In face, one person I asked to do a testimonial for the new third edition of Breakthrough Networking: Building Relationships That Last said, “Sure, even though you talk mostly about old-fashioned networking.” I sought other testimonials! Ironically, though, I had a call from her recently sharing how she’s in transition, and her inanimate computer isn’t supporting her like real people. Duh!

My increasing requests for speaking engagements on face-to-face techniques lead me to believe people again realize the value of this form of networking to increase sales, find a job and build solid relationships that last. It is the safest, most effective and preferred way to begin accumulating the kind of wealth you need throughout your life: social capital, i.e., a large network of knob turners to open doors to whatever you are seeking.

I’m going to ballyhoo face-to-face as the preferred initial contact. It deserves equal time!

• Live interaction. About 90 percent of in-person communication is conveyed through nonverbal actions. Your walk, posture, handshake, eye contact, facial expressions and appearance as well as your tone, rate, pitch, speed and inflection share volumes with those who are astute people readers. This form of communication is missing online. The words account for about 10 percent. If someone you want to meet is geographically inaccessible, the second best thing is to spend time with her/him on the telephone because you can at least engage the person in an interactive conversation where you can hear voice modularities.
• The knowledge and trust factors. You do business with people you know and trust or people referred by people you know and trust. Both ingredients are established more quickly when you meet face-to-face. Would you rather do business with someone your associate refers after meeting her/him in person … or online? It’s difficult to engender trust based on your LinkedIn profile alone. (Who monitors that the information is factual?) The profile, however, can be a great way to enhance information you already received.
• Honesty and integrity. You can see that people are who they say they are and how they portray themselves. You also gain valuable information by listening and observing.
• Immediacy of decision-making. One of the early decisions you need to make is whether it is worth pursing a mutually beneficial relationship. It is far easier to do in person as you share your “ask for” questions and measure responses against your “listen for” answers. Ask-for questions help you determine if the person is a first-degree candidate to help you grow your business or further your career or a second-degree candidate because s/he knows someone who can help you. “Listen-for” answers contain the information that alerts you the person has relationship potential because s/he plays in your ballpark … or not.
• Memorability. People remember you much more easily when they have met you in person. An online photo or video is helpful; however, it’s not like looking you in the eye and shaking your hand. You need to ensure your personal encounters are meaningful so that you gain top-of-mind positioning in your subject area.
• Increased online contacts. Increased personal contacts will also help you increase your online contacts on sites like LinkedIn since most of you link only with people you know. You become more valuable as the size and quality of your network grows.

Once you have invested the time and effort into face-to-face meetings, you can rely on online networking to stay in touch and strengthen your relationships. That’s where the two methods fit hand-in-glove.

May your relationships burst into sparkling successes!

For more information, please visit Lillian's TNNW Bio.

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To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

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BEYOND NETWORKING: NETBEING: Look Back to Move Forward: Taking the Moment & Dancing With It

Beyond Networking: NetBeing with Ron Sukenick

Taking the moment and dancing with it is truly an art. By going back in time and rediscovering connections from the past, you’re doing just that. Look up someone from your past, and “notice” if there is a shift possible for a new relationship to emerge.

Here's how to go about finding some of those wonderful relationships you had in the past.

Listed below are a few websites to aid you in your search:

• www.WhoWhere.com

The leading communications guide enabling people and businesses worldwide to find, connect and collaborate with each other by providing directories of email.

• www.AnyWho.com

Use AnyWho to find: phone numbers, addresses, maps & directions for Business and People in the US.

• www.whitepages.com

Find a person with either first name, last name, city or zip code.

• www.zabasearch.com

Free People Search and Public Information Search Engine

• www.reunitetonight.com

This website advertises the largest database of phone and address records.

Keep in mind that some of the companies above may charge you to provide the information you are requesting. There is no cost for you to just type in the name of the person you are looking for. Don't be surprised if the person just happens to pop up in any of the popular search engines on the Internet. This typically works really well when the person you are looking for has gained some kind of visibility in their current profession, i.e. a historical person, a singer, or a published author.

Results are available instantly.

With that said, go for it. Search out as many individuals from your past with whom you want to reconnect. Begin the process of rebuilding those incredible relationships you loved from the past; the process of taking yesteryear's relationships and bringing them into the present. In essence, you're continuing on the path of NetBeing!

Good Luck, and keep me informed about how this works for you.

What action steps will you take? Add these steps to your calendar right now.

For more, please visit Ron's TNNW Bio.

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MASTERING THE MEMBERSHIP MAZE: Plan a Workshop

Mastering the Membership Maze with Glen Gould

Contrary to what you may have heard or read, everyone is not struggling right now. Most businesses are still in business and employing people. And while most businesses aren't struggling, they are wondering what they can do right now to improve their productivity and increase sales. If you fall into this category, this article is for you.

Across the country chambers of commerce are looking for new business too. They need new members, new volunteers, and new programming and they are willing to work with anyone who can help. That's where you come in.

Do you have a product or service that solves a problem for a target audience? You better have. Are you able to present your product or service to prospective buyers? You need to be able to. Do you know about your industry, your competition, and how the things you and your competitors are doing impacts business in general? If yes, have I got an opportunity for you.

We're all familiar with the sales call. You prospect, call, set an appointment, and then you present your product or service to one person says either "Yes" or "No". But imagine presenting to a room full of people who may be clients but also may be referral sources. Here's how it works.

Develop a 20 minute presentation in a workshop format about your industry. Be certain the presentation is audience focused and value-packed. Leave plenty of room for questions and even plant some in the presentation. When the audience leaves they should have enough information to have a working knowledge of the options and they should know that you are the expert and have a solution as well.

For example, let's say you're a banker. You might talk about business loans and discuss different funding sources (Credit Cards, Micro Lenders, Grants, SBA, Angel Investors, Factors, Mezzanine Finance, and of course traditional Banks).

Present your idea for the workshop to your chamber of commerce (yes, you need to be a member). Show them how having this program that you will provide FREE of charge will benefit their members. Then tell them that you will be inviting non-members who you'll introduce to the chamber so they can see the value of chamber membership. Reassure them that this will be generic in nature and that you understand it cannot be just about you and your company. All you want is a place to present and for the chamber to promote it to the chamber membership.

Make sure you promote the event to your clients, prospects, email and other lists that you have accumulated. Get the chamber's approval and create a press release. Submit it to every media outlet in your service area (television, radio, web, print). Tweet about the upcoming event on Twitter, and join The National Networker and post the event on our calendar.

When you present your program, resist the temptation to make it a pitch-fest about your product or service. Make it generic in nature. But be certain to create a handout with your contact information in the header and footer on every page. Let the audience know that you are here to help.

Here's what will result. You'll be seen as the expert in your field. You'll bring in new members to the chamber and they'll love you for it. You'll present your ideas to a crowd, some of whom will buy your product or service and some of whom will let others know about you. Everyone wins.

One bit of warning. Every chamber won't warm up to this idea. That's o.k. You can use it with business associations, service clubs, and anywhere that people congregate. Right now, people are seeking answers. Be the solution.

Glen Gould

glen@inspirationagents.com

770-435-0781

www.InspirationAgents.com
Inspiring Positive Change

www.IsYourNetworkingWorking.com
Powerful Networking Tools

www.AtlantaCommunityBreakfast.com

Bringing business people together to discuss faith and values in the workplace

For more information, please visit Glen's TNNW Bio.

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JETNETTING: The First Impression Factor XIV - Gestures, Part II

JetNetting with Heshie Segal

Ah, hand movements. So much can be said about them. They can emphasis what you are communicating or they can give you away. Do you use them when you speak and, are you aware of using them? Do you use them a little? A lot? Do you create large movements or do you keep them small? Does it depend on the situation? Are your hand movements forced? Natural? Do you need them to talk for you . . .to supply the meaning you cannot seem to communicate effectively with words alone? Just watch people who visit a foreign country and do not understand the prevailing language. They use their hands when asking for directions, for pointing, for clarification, for ordering food and of course the list keeps on going. The use of hand gestures can and is truly transformed into a language without words; reflect on the communication skills of people who are deaf and/or mute and how amazingly ‘articulate’ they can be.

Julie and Bill are a dynamic duo. They work with people who want to make the most of their communication skills. Their niche is teaching how to create a positive first impression.

Julie is a bubbly, outgoing woman who uses her hands to create visual pictures in support of her message. Her receptive attitude is easily identifiable when she opens her hands to invite people into her space. When she stands before a large audience, she exaggerates the invitation by bringing her hands further away from the center of her body.

Bill is also dynamic . . . with an understated persona. He allows his hands to "talk", just not excessively. He does not call undue attention to them. Like Judy, he consistently uses open hands and palms that translate into a sense of authority and being in control of any situation.

Julie and Bill have been coaching a small group of talented college students who will be interviewed for sales and marketing positions. They know that creating a positive first impression is imperative. This session has the dynamic duo helping their protégés master communication with hand gestures.

Joey, one of the students, asks them, “What do I do with my hands when I am speaking to a tentative employer and especially if I have to stand in front of a group? I feel awkward just letting them hang.” Karen pipes in, “My hands go everywhere. I could never let them just hang!”

Julie laughs and says, “Karen, I know how you feel. I have to control my own hands at times. You are not alone. Women use far more hand gestures, and gestures in general for that matter, than men. That’s tough because, in certain situations we are less believable when we have our hands and arms all over the place.

Bill is ready to give some instruction. “Alright everyone, let’s get some basic guidelines that will make everyone more comfortable. Here goes:

1. Keeping your hands at your sides, unless they are gesturing as part of your message, makes you look trustworthy, confident and grounded. Yet if you purposely keep your hands still and they appear rigid, with no gesturing whatsoever, you run the risk of appearing stilted and your speech becoming flat and monotonous. Balance is essential.
2. When you put your hands behind you, especially if your head is slightly bowed, you may be perceived as lacking in vitality or in contemplation; and it might appear as if you are hiding something. When you keep your hands in full view, you show that you are open and forthcoming.
3. Placing your hands on you hips can make you appear to be snobbish, patronizing, impatient or superior.
4. When you are speaking to just one person, keep your gestures on the smaller side. When there is a group, enlarge the movements.

“Alright, lab time.” Julie wants the students to communicate and demonstrate emotions by using hand gestures only. “We will take the next 90 minutes, divide into teams, come up with your own scenarios and use the gestures listed below. Your role playing will give you confidence for the all important first impression . . . and beyond.

In the next session, we will cover the handshake. There is much more to it than you think.

Hands Clenched: Stressed out, Suspicion, Anxiety, Surprise

Covering your Mouth is usually negative: Doubt, Lack of confidence, Distortion of the truth

Hands on Hips - (with feet spread at shoulder width) Are you ready to roll?: Indicative of someone who wants to get somewhere quickly - whether physically or emotionally, Aggressiveness

Hand placed on chest: Allegiance, Honesty, Sincerity

Hand Wringing: Nervousness, Insecurity

Rubbing hands together: Satisfaction when it is with a quick motion, Deviousness, deception when done in slow motion

(Open) Hands, Palms: Openness, Sincerity

Palm rubbing: Expectancy, a way to keep warm

This just touches the surface of what hand gestures can mean. Not every movement has to have meaning, but it can. It is what you make of it. Now, your assignment: become more observant of what you do and what you see others do. Your impact and success depend on it!

For more information, please visit Heshie's TNNW Bio.

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POWERTHOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Building Stronger Relationships, Part 4

Power Thought of the Week with Patricia Parham, Ph.D.

Showing Appreciation for Favors Received
Find unique ways to express appreciation for a favor received. Occasionally, it means responding in kind. Rarely is an email, twitter or E-card compelling – they’re fast, cheap and easy and take little thought. More often a written note or a singing telegram or a box of golf tees has the potential to surprise and delight one who has gifted you. Personal artistic creations, such as poems or pictures, can be tailored to strike the right chord of gratitude. Be creative!

Patricia A. Parham
Parham Enterprises
www.parhamenterprises.com

For more information, please see Patricia's TNNW Bio.



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To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

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POWERTHOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Building Powerful Relationships, Part 3

Power Thought of the Week

with Patricia Parham, Ph.D.

Keeping in Touch
Keeping in touch is more than forwarding the latest jokes or pictures; it’s about making a meaningful connection -- share a thought, a resource, or the name of an outstanding restaurant – something of import to the recipient. It’s also appropriate to express sincere interest. There are no hard and fast rules about frequency – that’s totally dependent on the relationship and your shared expectations. Once you set up these boundaries, it’s important to keep them.

Patricia A. Parham
Parham Enterprises
www.parhamenterprises.com

For more information, please see Patricia's TNNW Bio.


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To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

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POWERTHOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Building Powerful Relationships, Part 2

Power Thought of the Week

with Patricia Parham, Ph.D.

Offering Unconditional Favors

Sharing information or offering to help solve a problem provides an opportunity to explore and potentially deepen a relationship. Never give with the expectation of return. Pay it forward and watch your gift return to you multiplied ten-fold. Because of this law of energy, always think positive thoughts, say positive things, and give more than is required or expected. Being labeled, “Generous” creates its own momentum.

Patricia A. Parham
Parham Enterprises
www.parhamenterprises.com

For more information, please see Patricia's TNNW Bio.



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To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

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POWER THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Building Powerful Relationships, Part 1

Power Thought of the Week with Patricia Parham, Ph.D.

Showing Respect and Positive Regard

Politeness and pleasantries are just the beginning of showing respect and positive regard. These must be authentic, for people are more perceptive than animals, which definitely know when we don’t like them. Flattery, too, can be easily misconstrued. Positive feedback on a specific action or result and its impact shows that you have been paying attention and taking note of another’s accomplishments. Try it!

Patricia A. Parham
Parham Enterprises
www.parhamenterprises.com

For more information, please see Patricia's TNNW Bio.



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A NOTE FROM THE CHAIRMAN: Twitter - The Good, The Bad & The Reality

by Adam J. Kovitz, Chairman & Founder

A few weeks ago, I asked our TNNW Newsletter subscribers (yes...subscription has its privileges) about Twitter and whether or not it's considered networking or something totally different. Here are just a few responses I received:

"You asked people to write about their feelings about networking vs Twitter, Face Book, etc. If you do not want younger members, clients, business associates, etc., by all means ignore social networking. Face-to-face is all you need – if you are planning to deal only with people over 60 or are about to shut down your business!

"I have a new Chamber Partner who is just finishing getting our Chamber of Commerce set up on everything! We are going to tweet, blog and anything else that reaches potential members (partners). For those who don’t think tweeting and blogging is necessary, I think it’s great – just that much more business for me!"

- Sue Thomas, President, Tarpon Springs Chamber of Commerce, Tarpon Springs, FL

"Regarding Twitter, I originally dismissed it as nonsense for teenagers as why would I want anyone to know what I'm doing, and I have never used it. Now between Twitter, Facebook, Linked-In, etc., etc., etc. and my blog group (link below) one can spend the whole day interacting in those realms and never get any work done and frankly I'm a bit confused."

- Roy Strauss, President, Strauss Consulting Group, Oakland NJ

"I use Twitter as a way to initiate relationships with people and also as a way to build social capital and providing a personal glimpse of who I am and what I do. Most of what happens in Twitter is noise and useless. Yet the very little that isn't noise can be pretty useful. I have started at least 7-10 relationships on Twitter that have grown to something more. In addition, many of my customers have seen (& commented) about my personal posts. This adds a new level of connection with them.

"So all in all, while I agree that Twitter is not quite networking, it can definitely add to the networking experience especially when used strategically.

"The other use for Twitter is also as a way to help promote others and build Social Capital for them. By helping build the visibility and credibility of fellow authors at TNNW, as well as other colleagues and clients, I am making it more likely that they will reciprocate at some point in the future. This is part of networking and the technology facilitates this process."

- Rick Itzkowich, Co-Founder, Productive Learning & Leisure, LLC & TNNW Columnist, Capistrano Beach, CA

One thing's for sure...Twitter is changing our lives. Just look at Twitter's role in allowing us an inside look at recent events in Iran, despite attempts on Iran's part to prevent disclosure of unrest after their recent elections. In this way, Twitter proves its use as a necessary communications and media tool. Could this possibly one day replace network news?

On the other hand, we've also recently seen Twitter at its worst. The recent death of Pop-icon Michael Jackson spawned an enormous response from fans throughout the "Twitterverse" that caused a crash on their servers, forcing Twitter to go temporally down.

My blood brother-in-arms, Douglas Castle and I have debated at length over the nature of Twitter and he sees it as a "powerful, high-speed, broadcast mechanism". Just like anything else, it is tool that can be used effectively or not so. When broadcasted effectively, Tweets can lead to building certain relationships, and therefore can lead to networking but it is not (in itself) networking. We both feel that it's important that in understanding the difference can save one a lot of heartache and wasted time.

No matter your perspective, it would seem that Twitter and other such services are part of history in the making. Hope you're enjoying the ride!

Follow Adam on Twitter

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THE BOOM IN BOOMER NETWORKING: Tails From the Old Dawg

The Boom in Boomer Networking with Elaine Ingis

Tails From the Old Dawg
OLD DAWG NEW TRICKS

It is possible to learn new tricks at any age. When I say new tricks...I'm not referring to "playmates", but rather reinventing yourself to enjoy the life you have been dealt.

My name is Stuart and I am an inactive member of AARP...OMG, I joined the first year and received 1000's of unsolicited mail...not quite what I had in mind. I prefer invited guests to drop ins!

Are you over 50, 60, 70…are you a BOOMER?? Tired of doing the same thing year in and year out...silly question; most people are! Going "outside the box" tends to paralyze any "sane" person and hence...you keep doing what you are doing AND getting what you are getting. It’s time to go “insane”. SrmeetUp! is just one excellent way to “rev” up your life.

REJOICE IN YOUR INDIVIDUALISM

I have been climbing up the corporate ladder for over 20 years and enjoyed every minute of it...NOT!!! For the 20 years proceeding that, I was an actor...ran nightclubs...was a boxer...a cook...and all around nice guy...and enjoyed every minute of it...YES!!!!

Supporting and raising a family required compromise and sacrifice (happy to do it)...what I didn't realize is that I also relinquished my dreams, passions and zest for life (daily grind and financial hardship can do that).

My children are older, my wife and I are wonderful friends but separated (alas...). The financial burden continues but my need for zest, passion and a darn good time has reared its glorious head. I am embarking on a new life that has been dormant in me for decades...and I am THRILLED, EXHILARATED and downright giddy with fear and hope! GAME ON!!!

Hey BOOMERS…what do you wanna do??? The world truly can be your oyster…steamed…stewed…chowdered…breaded…or just plain on the half shell. It isn’t always the results but the act of attempting something that will give you a rush…remember it can be the chase…and not the capture (careful what you wish for…).

DO SOMETHING….take a course…ask out an old flame…sky dive…watch a porn film (be IN a porn film…lol). The very act of trying something no matter how small can lead to bigger steps and open windows or doors you thought were nailed shut.

Only you can look inside your own mind and contemplate what is possible…what have you given up…what have you sacrificed for the “good of someone else”…WELL…WHAT ABOUT YOU!!!…and frankly…NOTHING is impossible…you simply have to try!

You are as worthy as anyone else…with your own time frame. Age has no place in your dreams…age is a number designated by society to indicate what you are capable of and when...If you can dream it…you can do it!

Start right now...

I am not saying to shirk your responsibilities…I would NEVER let my family suffer because of my immediate needs…BUT…I count and I have a right to be happy right along with them. Happiness expands to fit all worlds.

Old dawgs CAN learn new tricks!!! ;-) This dawg is going to be an actor!!!

Stuart

In terms of reinventing myself, that is exactly what I am doing! I have run restaurants and nightclubs while pursuing an acting career in a past lifetime (20-25 years ago). I boxed out of Gleason's Gym during that same lifetime. I have been a short order cook (and chief bottle washer ;-)) along with other "interesting" vocations.

I reinvented myself 20 years ago when my daughter (and subsequently my son) was born. I left that sordid and "exciting" life behind to move up the corporate ladder in the personnel industry (NOT sordid and NOT exciting). I am currently a Sr. VP of Sales but am more then ready to "reinvent" again!!!

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Stuart, I love your positive approach to everything, and I do mean everything. Your enthusiasm is contagious. No doubt SrmeetUp! will be hearing a lot about you and your new successes.

Elaine

For more about Elaine Ingis, please click here.

POWER THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Agency and Networks, Part 4

Power Thought of the Week with Patricia Parham, Ph.D.

Emotional Agency and Networks

Networks provide emotional and social support. Emergencies and low periods often trigger the desire to engage with others who have experienced similar situations. Sometimes, a coach or spiritual counselor affirms and guides one through challenging times. New networks develop to help people deal with contemporary issues, i.e., care for aging parents, children dealing with divorce, and post traumatic stress syndrome. The most simple of these share strategies for coping and give emotional support.

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To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

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