Interview with Adam J. Kovitz | CONVERSATIONS THAT COUNT

Conversations That Count with Rob Brown

This is my first blog post for the TNNW, having been asked by my good friend Adam to contribute to this wonderful community.


My name is Rob Brown. I'm based in the UK and am the founder of the Global Networking Council. This is a high-level, invitation-only ‘mastermind’ group for thought leaders, authors, experts, facilitators and gurus on the topics of business networking, relationship building, trust, connecting and referrals.


Part of my role is to interview these top relationship thought leaders and share with you their insights and tips for building social, financial and relationship capital.


To kick this off, here's an interview I did with the incredible Adam J. Kovitz recently. It lasts around 18 mins and is packed full of some amazing gems about the science and theory of networking. In it you'll discover things like:

• Why networking is simply a flow of information, and how you use it defines you as a networker.
• How to manage data and leverage a network into social and financial capital.
• How physics, resistance and friction can explain whether or not you'll get referrals!
• Why there is no such thing as a born networker (or a born anything)!
• You can analyze and quantify a network, and even predict the behaviour of your network over time.
• Why online networking will never take the place of face to face networking – we will always need the sensation of touch!
• How the global economic crisis and inflation in the price of oil and food means that it becomes more expensive to meet with people face to face.
• Why we are like ‘kids in the candy store’ when it comes to the many ways in which we connect.
• Why the networking future belongs to those who analyze and quantify their network and utilize the many tools available to connect.
• Every network you have is an asset (a constantly evolving portfolio of holdings) that you invest and it pays you.

It's an enlightening discourse with a true thought leader in the field of networking. I was particularly taken with Adam's view that a network is an asset.


As Robert Kiyosaki taught us in the stepchange book Rich Dad Poor Dad, a liability costs you, while an asset brings you a return.


In my own role as a networking authority and author, I've long since argued that a network in and of itself is worthless to you. You've got to do something with it.

A network needs leveraging! That either means exploiting it, selling it, selling to it, using it to open doors for you, extracting ideas, support, resources or information from it or playing with it.


Listen to or download this interview with a true thinker in this crucial area, and see what it takes to become a leading networker and connector in your field!


For more information, please visit Rob's TNNWC Bio.

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We are a collaborative entrepreneurial, creative organization offering you hands-on, personalized assistance in every aspect of achieving your monetization, profitability and financial sustainability objectives, domestically and globally.

We don’t just coach you or offer you pre-packaged, push-button solutions – we listen to you, analyze your exact needs, and work within your budget to: 1) create your tool kit and 2) work as your partner to implement your plan by supporting you in the most efficient and productive use of every tool.

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Interview with Adam J. Kovitz | CONVERSATIONS THAT COUNT

Update Bulletin - New Developments - The National Networker Companies - 02.07.2010

Free Membership and Subscription? Click HERE.
Free RSS Newsfeed? Click HERE.
Free Daily Email Supplement? Click HERE.

Dear Friends:

This is the TNNWC Update Bulletin! for the first week of February, 2010. We have made incredible progress since our inception five years ago as the first "Consumer Reports" of the Networking Industry. The first subscribers to the TNNW Newsletter signed on because of their sharing Adam J. Kovitz' vision of the potential in networking, connecting and building Relationship Capital. Adam and his wife, Wendy, recruited our first writers, as well as our first readers and sponsors by themselves, as a labor of love. They published the first issue, and have overseen the publication of every single issue since.

Fast forward five years ... We are now The National Networker Companies, with:

• Two publications -- The National Networker Newsletter and The Blue Tuesday Report;
• A growing media machine -- with radio programs, news releases, special featured reports, multiple RSS feeds, Buzzworks, Blogworks and The National Newspicker Page -- we have the full complement of widgets, blidgets, buttons, feeds, with growing marketshare, higher visibility, both in the United States and internationally... we have been re-published in The Wall Street Journal [Europe], the BNI Newsletter [New Zealand] and in a tremendous number of e-media venues;
• The world's very first Global Interworked Cooperative Business Community (GICBC), destined to set a new socio-economic model for a world in need of some serious attitude adjustment;
• A Suite of the best, most unique and most useful (did we neglect to mention most cost-effective?) Professional and Business Development Services for all of our Members. Basic Membership is still free, as are our publications;
• Fabulous writers representing all types of vertical specialties from around the world... Alaska, Africa, China, France... we have a phenomenal crew of brilliant, edgy, opinionated and outspoken writers (but we don't mean to brag).

To say that we have made progress is an understatement.

Our mission has changed - The National Networker Companies, as a group, is a provider of news, intelligence, unique content and business development services to the professional, corporate and entrepreneurial sectors.

Our orientation has changed - Networking is only the beginning - TNNWC is not just about "networking" (which has become a vast term with multiple meanings to many people; where every person believes that he or she is an "***EXPERT***") -- we are all about increasing revenues and productivity by creating viable, real connections; building partnerships (domestically and globally); providing interactive forums; and furnishing services to increase your roster of clients, your buzz, your branding, your market presence (in existing and new, emerging and potential markets) and your sales by every means possible. We live to inform, assist, interact with and promote every member's business, practice or cause.

Our structure has changed - We are an information producer, cross-media broadcaster and a promotion mega-machine. We make things happen for our members, and for our clients.

We've got some things for you to look at, too - the items which follow have been posted, re-posted, tweeted, digged (dug?) and otherwise promulgated. Read them. Click on a few links. Then come back here. We're patient. We'll be waiting...

1. Before you fill that prescription... Drugwatch.com. Through our Links 4 Life public service site, we have now formed a strategic alliance with Drugwatch.com. TNNWC is a major provider of Public Service Announcements in the interest of promoting exemplary corporate citizenship. Peace, Prosperity and Health.

2. Hot, highly buzzed TNNW themes and fresh ideas from BlogCatalog, a blog search engine. Visit them at http://bit.ly/aRTaCC. Our ideas about jumping the turnstiles of the status quo, being unique, being proactive and being collaborative are getting us attention. That's the point, isn't it?

3. TNNW is ever-grateful to Graham Southwell of BNI New Zealand, and Dr. Ivan Misner (the Founder of BNI and the father of organized business networking) for talking about the need for activism amidst apathy. http://bit.ly/a0E7Mx . They are re-publishing some of our most exciting content.

4. We recently had an article about The Ten Essential Principles of Networking published in the Wall Street Journal (European Edition). It is a "must read!" at http://www.wsje-flp.com/articles.php/65/business-networking-ten-essential-principles. Going further, we are building a fabulous relationship with the international leaders of the future through our budding alliance with THE WALL STREET JOURNAL EUROPE FUTURE LEADERSHIP INSTITUTE.

5. The articles in this week's issue of The National Networker Newsletter... they're coming up.


Help us build the world's biggest subscriber list -- Forward this article (or this email) to a friend, colleague or business associate.


As always, thank you. You've let us become a part of your life. Through our GICBC (details unfolding rapidly), you will be able to become a stakeholder in The National Networker Companies. Our Growth Will Guarantee Yours.


With All of Our Best,


Adam J. Kovitz and Douglas Castle





Published by THE NATIONAL NETWORKER Newsletter. All rights reserved. Subscribe Free, and get your BLUE TUESDAY REPORT, too. - Click HERE.
The National Networker Companies
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Update Bulletin - New Developments - The National Networker Companies - 02.07.2010

Update! December, 2009 - Holiday Special!

December, 2009, Week 2 - Read These, Or Our Feelings Will Be Hurt. - Here at TNNW, we have learned to use guilt as a tool to manipulate our readers to our advantage. It worked for our mothers, and it can work for us!

Update Issue # 22

SUPERCHARGED NETWORKING : TURNING CONTACTS INTO BUSINESS. CONVERTING IDEAS INTO PRODUCTION. TNNW.

• Synthesizing;
• Synergizing;
• Mobilizing; and
• Monetizing.

It's what we do. And we do it for you.

A Pre-Christmas (and Mid-Hanukkah) To-Do List:

1. Click on the fancy new logo at the top of this Update! and make sure that you are signed up for the free RSS feed or the Daily Email. In addition to your regular subscription, this will give you access to ALL of our info, intel, breaking news, breaking wind, and other breaking things. In fact, some of the things you'll see are not broken at all -- they will be fixed, just like the presidential elections in many countries. Oh -- almost forgot...while you're on that page, scroll down a bit on the right-hand side, and grab the TNNW Widget. This nifty widget can be placed on your website, blog, or newsletter in order to provide you with great continuous information, as well as plenty of additional visitor traffic.

2. Take a moment to respond to TNNW Survey #5 (about the recession and the recovery)...it's very quick, painless and you'll be forever blessed. Click here for the survey, and thank you in advance:

http://thenationalnetworker.blogspot.com/2009/12/blue-thing-1-tnnw-surveys-analyses-and.html .

If the preceding url seems too long, you can simply click on this shorter one, and save precious time:

http://twitlik.com/MyTimeIsTooValuableForLongUrls .

3. Think Green. Choose your news. In 20 minutes per day, you can be the best-informed person in any meeting or social encounter. Get this gadget, and go green:

http://TheNationalNewspickerPage.blogspot.com .

If the preceding url seems too long, you can simply click on this shorter one, and save even more precious time:

http://twitlik.com/GreenGadget

4. Please follow The National Networker Newsletter and the Blue Monday Report on Twitter. If we get 25,000 followers by December 25th, Adam J. Kovitz will personally pay each one of those followers $0.01! Yossi Feigenson will also buy the 25,000th follower a cup of coffee. I (Douglas Castle) will also be the proud recipient of a 1-hour long backrub from Featured TNNW author Christine West, who will be clad only in an apricot leather jumpsuit (I have not exactly told her about this yet...).

Go to: http://Twitter.com/TNNW_BUZZWORKS . Bless you. Each and every one.

5. Visit http://tnnwcservices1.blogspot.com . It is under construction, but it is live! You'll learn some great stuff about news releases, publicity, public relations and branding.

With the promise of great things to come,

Adam J. Kovitz, Chairman and CEO
Douglas Castle, Vice Chairman and food-taster for the Chairman and CEO*

* And the guy who has to compile, write and edit these Updates! because he lost a bet.

Ladies and Gentlemen - We proudly present to you: The Masthead:

Have you Googled "Adam J. Kovitz" ? Do it now!

Follow DOUGLAS CASTLE on TWITTER - http://twitter.com/douglascastle
Follow DOUGLAS CASTLE on THE NATIONAL NETWORKER - http://twitter.com/TNNW_BUZZWORKS
Douglas Castle's Secret Blog Links!
DOUGLAS CASTLE
BRAINTENANCE
HUMANITAS MAXIMUS
DOUGLAS CASTLE'S INTERNAL ENERGY PLUS
THE INTERNATIONALIST PAGE
THE GLOBAL FUTURIST
TAKING COMMAND!
THE NATIONAL NETWORKER Newsletter





Published by THE NATIONAL NETWORKER Newsletter. All rights reserved. Subscribe Free, and get your BLUE TUESDAY REPORT, too. - Click HERE.
The National Networker Companies
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Update! December, 2009 - Holiday Special!

BECAUSE I CAN: Why Givers Don’t Always Gain and Why the “Law” of Reciprocity is Bullsh!t

Because I Can with Adam J. Kovitz

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”

- Henry Winkler

Last month I introduced the concept of “Insani-FREE”, the assumption that many people (I’m sure you’re not one of them) make about the concept of “FREE”, and how this leads to the “death”* of many a business/professional relationship. Nothing sucks more than being the person on the giving end of a relationship who has to deal with a taker who:

1. Doesn’t understand the value of what you’re offering
2. Takes without showing appreciation, or
3. Takes without giving back.

But Adam…what about “Giver’s gain”, “the Golden Rule”, “the Law of Reciprocity”, or even “The Tenth Law of Relationship Capital”?

Shouldn’t we get back everything we give away? In fact, shouldn’t we get back more that what we give?

The answer to the last two questions are unequivocally, “yes”, provided:

1. You live in a vacuum
2. You live in Fantasy Land, or
3. You happen to be really, really lucky.

For the rest of us ordinary folks who have to put up with reality, why do some people give and give of themselves to others and not get back what they feel they rightfully deserve?

To this I answer, “Because we have obviously made some wrong assumptions here”. Let’s take a look at these assumptions more closely and even use the commonly-accepted Laws of the Known Universe – I love using Newtonian Physics - to explain what is really happening here.

Why?

Because I can…

Don’t Be Such a Drag

How often have you dealt with those who cannot appreciate you for who you are and what you do? We have often referred to such people as “drags”, “energy vampires” or in the corporate world we say that they’re not good “team-players”. Have you ever stopped to really think about why we say such things?

Let’s to that now…

The Law of Conservation of Energy is appropriate here. It states that:

Energy can neither be created nor destroyed.

Or put into more formulaic terms:

E_in = E_out

What this means is that if I put energy into a system (a relationship is one such example of a system), I should get the same amount of energy out.

So when we put a lot of energy into a relationship with someone who is a “drag”, “energy vampire” or not a good “team player”, we should get the same amount back out of it…correct?

Yes.

So why is it that it feels like there is less energy there such that we often end up being “disenfranchised”, “disappointed”, “disenchanted” and/or just “dissed”?

Because the energy that comes back to you is, indeed, diminished, leading you to feel that your energy was wasted.

Why?

Because any physical system, be it mechanical, hydrodynamic, thermodynamic, electrical, chemical, financial or even relational all suffer from energy loss in the form of friction, drag, resistance, etc., so our original equation can be rewritten:

E_given = E_taken + E_lost

So when we look at the so-called “Law” of Reciprocity and make the wrongful assumption that we will get back everything we put in to a relationship all the time, we do not take into account “Relational Resistance” – the individual G-d-given free will that the other party in the relationship possesses that will either make magic or lead to disappointment.

I am hoping that by now you are beginning to see that we can analyze organizational/team/network effectiveness much in the same way aeronautical engineers design a new aircraft or the controller/CFO determines the financial stability of a corporation? It doesn’t matter the application – the same formula holds true.

From an aeronautical engineering perspective, E_given relates to the energy value of fuel needed for an aircraft to work according to design specifications, E_taken is the thrust or speed of the aircraft and E_lost is the drag and the weight of the aircraft.

From a financial perspective, E_given can relate to revenue, E_taken is the profit and E_lost is the loss due to expenses.

Resistance is Futile

So if we can perform such analysis on aircraft, finance, hydroelectric dams, plus a myriad of other systems, why don’t we do it with human relational systems?

Simple…resistance.

Resistance to what?

The idea that it can’t be done. I’ve heard arguments that it’s impossible to quantify or valuate the energy people put into such relational systems.

My counter-argument to this is that we can value such things by the means of our own perceptional perspectives – after all, it is said that “perception is reality”. I have outlined such a valuation in my article: Relationship Capital in the Workplace, in which I suggest a simple rating system of -10 to 10.

Similar systems are already being used to rate vendors on eBay, books on Amazon.com and elsewhere.

Even if we can all agree to such a perceptive rating system, there is still the challenge of data collection how often must we way in on our perceptive value of every person in our network so we can track the ebb and flow of Relationship Capital?

This would certainly require some time and effort of research, our current world of high-speed internet and hand held mobile devices and social media should provide an acceptable forum.

And the benefits of such analysis would be considerable. With it we could:

1. Identify root cause of inefficiencies of an organization down to an individual
2. Identify true key performers for job placement/promotion
3. Promote accountability within any organization at all levels
4. Promote “social graces” through quantitative means
5. Measure effectiveness and impact of training/coaching initiatives within an organization
6. Determine how changes in specific messaging by management to employees improve or increase organizational effectiveness
7. Determine how changes in specific messaging to the public increases demand for products or services, or brand awareness
8. Develop a quantitative means of measuring human decency and performance
9. Developing a better “good will” calculation for valuating a company
10. Develop a “truer” economic system that is less subject to corruption
11. Better understand key moments in history and why they happened
12. Forecast future organizational health based upon known history and statistical modeling.

Time to Change Assumptions

Whether we want to mathematically model what’s going on when we deal in human relationships or not, we can at the very least work to take the path of least resistance in our own dealings by looking at minimizing Relational Resistance and its cause.

How will we do this?

By making better assumptions! From now on, we will assume that:

1. We will get more out of every relationship and will be less disappointed if we at least acknowledge that there is some quantity of Relational Resistance in every relationship
2. Relational Resistance exists on both sides of the relationship
3. We must take ownership of our own Relational Resistance and work, with the help of the other person in the relationship to minimize it
4. We must take responsibility to honestly and effectively communicate the means by which our partner in the relationship can reduce their own Relational Resistance.

Why will we make these assumptions?

Because we can.

Until next month…

* I use the term “death” here in quotes because relationships, like Relationship Capital (RC) can never be destroyed – see my article on the Fifth Law of Relationship Capital.

Adam J. Kovitz is the Chairman & Founder of The National Networker Group of Companies, which publish The National Networker (TNNW), provide member services and consulting as well as branding and social media domination.

For more about Adam J. Kovitz, please click here.

Hire Adam to speak at your next conference or event by emailing info@thenationalnetworker.com.

Follow Adam on Twitter!

The Emergence of the Relationship Economy

Relationship Capital is the cornerstone of the Relationship Economy, which RNIA defines as “a measurement assigned to individual and organizational entities based on the relationship interactions between them, and the interactions they have internally.” I am proud to have contributed discussion of the Ten Laws of Relationships Capital to The Emergence of the Relationship Economy, now out as an eBook and in hardcopy. With a forward written by Doc Searls (of Cluetrain Manifesto fame), it is being considered a “must read” for anyone responsible for the strategic direction of their business. If you would like to purchase your own copy of The Emergence of the Relationship Economy, please click here.

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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW). All rights reserved.

To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

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BECAUSE I CAN: Why Givers Don’t Always Gain and Why the “Law” of Reciprocity is Bullsh!t

HEADLINE: Insani-FREE: The Hidden Relationship Killer

by Adam J. Kovitz

CEO, Founder & Publisher

“At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.”

- Emo Phillips

WARNING! This column contains FREE information. Since it is FREE, it’s probably of little value and therefore, you have the following options:

1.) Stop reading now – while it might be FREE, it’s probably a waste of time – we all know that anything of value must COST A LOT OF MONEY

2.) Discover what the “catch” is – is there really something of value here that’s being offered? – what’s Adam getting at? (besides ending sentences with prepositions)

3.) Pay me a large sum of money out of spite and continue reading, or

4.) Pay me a large sum of money to shut me up (good luck with that).

I have important and grim news for all who have the courage to read on…

…this planet is suffering from a “hidden killer”…

…it often comes disguised as something useful and welcome, but always (and eventually) gets us in the end…

I’m talking about “FREE”.

OK…it’s not that the term itself is to blame, but rather our common misinterpretation and lack of understanding of its implications that leads us into very dark water. My article this month is about understanding such implications.

What does this have to do with networking?

EVERYTHING.

Bait and Switch?

How often have you downloaded FREE virus/spyware/adware/registry error scanning software, and receiving the scan for FREE, to find that the viruses/spyware/adware/registry errors detected can only be removed if you agree to purchase of a one-year license of the actual software?

How about getting FREE alarm system (an $X value!) if you agree to purchase of a one year contract for home monitoring?

How about a FREE entrée at your favorite restaurant if you agree to purchase of another at equal or greater value?

Last but not least…a FREE 3-day, 2-night getaway to a fabulous resort if you agree to a “short” sale presentation?

Just what exactly is going on here…has the world gone mad?

What’s wrong with these companies? Why can’t they just give us something ABSOLUTELY FREE WITHOUT ANY OTHER STRINGS ATTACHED? WHY MUST I AGREE TO ANYTHING ELSE?

The immediately proceeding dialog is more a caricature of an attitude you have most likely experienced in your life at some point – whether you’ve noticed it within others or yourself. It is indicative of what I call “Insani-FREE”; an “insanity” around or at best, a misunderstanding of the term “FREE”.

Understanding “FREE”

To understand “FREE”, we must first ask the question, “Why do we do anything for FREE?”

This is much like saying, “Why do we do anything nice for someone else?”

The answer comes down simply to “increase Relationship Capital”, or as it is more commonly-known, “to build a better relationship”.

The reasons for increasing Relationship Capital (RC) can mean anything from making a friend, deriving a future revenue source, gaining sponsorship or backing to fund one’s dream, finding a new career opportunity, being seen more favorably and much, much more.

In this way, “FREE”, is one way of initiating a relationship – it’s an invitation (or offer) to enter a relationship, if you will. But for there to be a relationship (last time I checked, it was a “two-way street”), every invite must elicit a response (or agreement). Therefore, a response to an invite is an agreement to participate. Does this sound familiar to you? Can you think of a fundamental Law of the Universe to which this is a direct application?

Some people call it the Law of Reciprocity. Others call it the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as they would do unto you”. Being a “recovering engineer and rocket scientist”, I usually look to Newtonian Physics to explain such phenomena.

In previous writings about the Laws of Relationship Capital, I have shown that RC behaves in a way that is Newtonian (see the Fourth Law of Relationship Capital for more). In this case, Newton’s Third Law comes to mind:

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

When we fall victim to Insani-FREE, we fail to make this crucial connection. But wait…there’s more…

“FREE” Body Diagrams

One common engineering principal used to identify the components of any working system (mechanical, thermodynamic, electrical, hydraulic, etc.) is to model said system by using a free body diagram (FBD). Without getting too overly-technical (this is a business and social networking publication for heaven’s sake), here’s what a typical FBD looks like for a block of wood at rest on a table would look like:

By the term “at rest”, this block is considered to be static, and therefore all forces (signified by a capital “F”) acting upon it are equally balanced, both horizontal and vertical. If any one force acting upon the block of wood were to be greater than its opposing counterpart, then the block would begin to accelerate in the same direction as the greater force.

If we applied this to a human relation-based system, here’s what it might look like:

What this shows is a brand new relationship (or the rekindling of a long lost one – see the Fifth Law of Relationship Capital for more) with two equal and opposite forces acting upon it. The first (on the bottom) is an invitation or offer (let’s just say it’s a FREE one) and the second (on the top) is and equal and opposite response to it. What we have here has the potential to be the “start of a beautiful friendship”.

A few months ago, I wrote an article about Relationship Capital in the Workplace, in which I described the Relationship Capital Value (RCV) of individuals, products, organizations, relationships, etc. as having a value from -10 to 10, with -10 being highly unfavorable and 10 being highly favorable. Please note that these values are based solely upon the perceptions of all parties involved with the relation-based system.

In the above illustration we show a new relationship (with a neutral RCV status of zero) being acted upon by two equal and opposite reputational forces. This is great as far as illustrating a static relationship. In the case of a FREE offer (with the underlying motivation to make a sale), the object is to move the RCV from zero into the positive range through the timeless human principles of motivation, rhetoric, debate, manipulation, reasoning, banter, active listening, etc.

Therefore, the relationship must be made dynamic to increase RCV. How does one do this? By applying more force than that which is opposing it in such a way that is agreeable to the opposing force.

Real World Dynamic Relationships

Have you ever felt that you have put everything into a relationship (bent over backwards, was gracious, more than accommodating to others, given high-quality referrals) to improve it only to have it deteriorate because the other person or people involved didn’t reciprocate?

Have you ever felt that despite having considerably high amounts of Relationship and/or Intellectual Capital (who and what you know) you have not been able to leverage that into sufficient Financial Capital?

Where was Newton’s Third Law here?

How about the Ninth Law of Relationship Capital: Financial Capital is merely a reflection of and cannot exist without some combination of Relationship and Intellectual Capital?

Let’s take a look at what that might look like:

In this case, we have a “give and take” situation in which the “taking” is reducing RCV. There are several reasons for why this might happen – some of which are:

1. The invitation/offer does not meet the needs of the other party, which might spark a strong adverse reaction, such as an insult
2. The invitation/offer is overly aggressive to the point where the other party must counter with a stronger opposing response
3. The invitation/offer is not appreciated by the other party and is met with lack of interest or apathy (yes…lack of interest or apathy can be a powerful reputational force)
4. A misunderstanding in the perceived reputational force of the invitation/offer may cause a stronger opposing response due to mistrust or fear, a.k.a. Insani-FREE!!!
   
5. The party behind the opposing responsive force wishes ill will upon the opposing party – perhaps seeking to “make an example” of them.

There are probably other reasons for why this phenomenon occurs and I will either leave this for the psychologists and other armchair philosophers out there or I may decide to tackle such issues myself in subsequent articles. Regardless, the real question to ask is, “how to we overcome such a loss in RCV?”

For the answer, we turn to Newton’s Second Law: Objects at rest tend to stay at rest unless acted upon by an outside force and objects in motion tend to stay in motion unless acted upon by an outside force.

In mathematical terms, this is written as:

F = m * a

Where:

F is force

m is mass, and

a is acceleration.

In my discussion of the Fourth Law of Relationship Capital I apply this principle to networking (human-based relationship systems) as such:

F = Rm * Im

Where:

F is reputational force

Rm is reputational mass, and

Im is impact (the acceleration of RC, or for those mathematically-inclined, the second derivative of RC).

Therefore, if we wish to oppose, counter and reverse any negatively-declining RCV in any relationship we wish to preserve, we must apply a much stronger reputational force. This means:

1.) Increasing reputational mass, i.e. getting friends, family, contacts, followers, team members, co-workers into agreement to aid us, and/or

2.) Increasing impact through a stronger message, an ultimatum, physical means, etc.

The implications of this are considerable. Imagine being able to estimate and model the reputational force of social, political, marketing and managerial initiatives. What impact might this type of analysis have upon our lives?

My thinking is that this would increase awareness of identifying a stimulus or improved result, analyzing various scenarios and choosing the best response in order to increase RCV. I believe that all too often, we fail to take into consideration the intangible, yet most-important “human element” in our equations, calculations and plans.

One thing’s for sure…

…you will never look at a FREE offer the same way again!

Adam J. Kovitz is the CEO, Founder & Publisher of The National Networker (TNNW).

Follow Adam on Twitter!

The Emergence of the Relationship Economy

Relationship Capital is the cornerstone of the Relationship Economy, which RNIA defines as “a measurement assigned to individual and organizational entities based on the relationship interactions between them, and the interactions they have internally.” I am proud to have contributed discussion of the Ten Laws of Relationships Capital to the upcoming book The Emergence of the Relationship Economy, now out as an eBook and in hardcopy. With a forward written by Doc Searls (of Cluetrain Manifesto fame), it is being considered a “must read” for anyone responsible for the strategic direction of their business. If you would like to purchase your own copy of The Emergence of the Relationship Economy, please click here.

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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW). All rights reserved.

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HEADLINE: Insani-FREE: The Hidden Relationship Killer

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF NETWORKING: Let's Start with a Simple Conversation

The Psychology of Networking with Christine M. West, MS, CMHT

It’s funny as technology has advanced and we have so many means to develop our human relationship capital through communication yet we still miss connecting, hearing and communicating effectively with others. It is almost as though we have forgotten in some ways how to be human!

As human complexity has set in, we have become avoiders of simple conversation. For example, we meet people in social networks or in person and we send e-mails back and forth and believe this is efficient conversation. Or, we often mistakenly believe that the e-mail recipient has the same interpretation of our words as we intended. Too often we miss the opportunity to pick up the phone or to meet in person to clarify the meaning of our message. And we end up reducing the opportunity to grow a relationship or end up creating unnecessary conflict and stress in existing relationships.

Our communication today has become more fragmented and more fear-based. We have become increasingly isolated from one another as we move ever faster at frantic speeds. We seek consolidation in everything, but fail to find it in one another. We have learned to embrace the new instead of noticing and appreciating what we already have. Thus we have learned to choose fear , play conflicted games with ourselves and have forgotten the true source of wellness - the connection to one another. This connection is comprised of the most powerful network of all - the human relationship system.

Many of us refuse to see that fear keeps us apart and weakens the true potential of our human relationship system. Unfortunately, we all have lists of people whom we fear. If we tried to communicate with them, it often creates a wall within us and we shut down what might be possible to learn from that person or about ourselves. We need to learn to be able to talk to those we have named our “enemy.” We need to stop manufacturing interpretations that keep us separated. We need to stop our contradictive behavior—we say we want connect with a group and then we promote harsh judgment about the members of that group. Or, we say we are open-minded and then we judge someone for being different. Or we say we are flexible yet our schedule is too rigid to allow any relationship capital to prosper.

For relationship capital to prosper, we need to create meaning and purpose in our conversations while listening to one another. If we begin to slow down and start talking about what we care about, stop blaming, stop avoiding, stop ignoring one another and stop engaging in fear-filled chitchat—well, what might we discover? We can only change and connect if we start listening and paying attention to one another while being open to share who we are. We need to be to a role model and encourage simple, honest conversation in which there is no arbitration or debate, in which each of us has a chance to speak truly and feel fully heard while allowing enough space in the relationship to grow and for it to prosper.

The truth of accomplishing this type of simple conversation is that it takes time and a willingness to practice. Part of the practice is becoming self aware of our own strengths and weaknesses in our own communication style. What triggers us to put up a wall and shut others out? Practice is also about relearning our own speaking, listening and social skills. We need to slow down our minds and pay attention to the communication and behaviors that is being conveyed from us and to us. We need to hear one another without judgment so that the fragmentation and isolation can stop.

Awareness, truth and accountability start within us. Everything exists because of our relationship to it, for nothing exists in isolation. The best relationships are built on simple honest conversation.

Genuinely,
Christine

Author: Christine M. West, TheBusinessMD, 2240 E. Tudor Rd. #976, Anchorage, Alaska, USA 99507. Phone 1-907-223-8403. Email: info@thebusinessmd.net, http://www.businessmd.net/ TheBusinessMD offers transformational services to assist better human relationships in the workplace Ms. West is also a featured columnist for the National Networker http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/


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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER.



To subscribe for your free newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/.

For the complete National Networker Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free, continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/.


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Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF NETWORKING: Let's Start with a Simple Conversation