THE PSYCHOLOGY OF NETWORKING: Deadly Mistaken Practices Smart People Make- Part I

The Psychology of Networking

with Christine M. West, MS, CMHT

We reside in a fast touch and go world where social media, symbolic communication and environmental influences shape and model behavior. People are social creatures who by natural self-means are organized, reflective, regulated and proactive as opposed to reactive organisms to the environment. Social systems dominate the road for human advancement and adaptation. Human beings represent the created product of each and every social system. Human beings continually learn, influence and model the behavior in their social system. This is the very reason why these human social networks have power.

Many of today’s social systems have conditioned many smart people to deadly practices that result in missed opportunities, superficial relationships, mistaken assessments, wish-washy outcomes, stagnation and a limited relationship with prosperity. It is our responsibility to become aware if our social system is pulling us up or dragging us down.

The following are mistaken practices that many smart people make:

1. People want to succeed yet their fear fuels resistance which stops the required changes to take place. For success to progress the new behavior needs to be congruently aligned with the other pieces and parts of the person, group and environment, otherwise regression probably will take place.

If a person is involved in a social system that continually feeds limitations and fear, the individual is faced with a choice to either leave the social system or allow regression to take place and be pulled back into a limited environment.

The overall strength in successful change is derived from group work. The change spreads with group willingness and agreement.

If an individual really wants to strive for more, then is better to find a social group to pull us up to a new level of success.

2. Many lack a clear focus. We can focus on what is or what is not working. We can also focus on what we believe in or do not believe in. Winning scenarios focus on learning to use the tools and resources available in the moment. Often this requires innovation, compromise and adjustments to occur. The key to success is to focus on what you really want and let go of the rest.

3. Many smart people give into their limitations and stop learning. The energy we place on our self-created limitations results in us believing that everyone we encounter lives in the same limited box we do. We think everyone perceives our situation in the same light also. We believe if we cannot find a solution then no one can. We believe we are the end all be all and think we have climbed to the highest plateau. Yet our greatest mistake is failing to pay attention to what we could truly find out from another. The funny piece of this equation is we deny prosperity and signs that could help us. We need to adopt the courage to get out of our own way and start listening and asking open-ended questions.

4. We need to allow ourselves to model what we want. This means the human being is required to pay attention, observe and through a heightened awareness new behaviors are accessible for espousal and installation. The new behaviors include innovative creativity to perceive the world from a different view that includes expanded cognitive ability, advancement in linguistic communication and improvements to regulate and motivate one’s attitude and demeanor.

The process of observational learning creates shifts in behavior, thinking patterns and learning new knowledge. Modeling has strong motivational effects because people want the same success as experienced in another. Values and beliefs play an influencing role with motivation. The value a person assigns to the perceived outcome along with the belief to reach the outcome is determined by the relationship between the value and the outcome and the relationship between the belief and the outcome.

So therefore if we value what we believe and belief in our own value, then we will soon see we are an effect of our beliefs. The choice is ours, we will always see what we believe in and value.

In closing Part I, our choices of the past have created our circumstance of today. It is healthy acknowledge this fact and to learn from the past. Yet it is unhealthy to live in circumstances that cannot be changed. Life occurs in the present and paying to now has great reward and meaningful purpose. Precious gifts exist in the present moment if we only will allow ourselves to stay focused in the here and now.

Genuinely,

Christine

Author: Christine M. West, TheBusinessMD, 2240 E. Tudor Rd. #976, Anchorage, Alaska, USA 99507. Phone 1-907-223-8403. Email: info@thebusinessmd.net, http://www.businessmd.net/ http://thebusinessmd.blogspot.com/ TheBusinessMD offers transformational services to assist better human relationships in the workplace. Ms. West is also a Featured Columnist for the National Networker http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/
Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF NETWORKING: Deadly Mistaken Practices Smart People Make- Part I

U.S. SOUTHWEST: DSWA - The Aloha Spirit Thrives in This Direct Sellers Association

By Kathleen Ronald

Southwest Bureau Chief

(Arizona, California, Nevada, Utah)

This month I’m thrilled to have the opportunity to introduce you to an extraordinary tag team who founded a wonderful group called DSWA. Not only are Nicki and Grace partners, they are the greatest mother-daughter duo to hit the market! Meet Nicki and Grace Keohohou of Direct Selling Women’s Alliance.

I was fortunate enough to meet these amazing women through an old friend named Kathleen Wheeler, who I met when I moved to San Jose and needed some Mary Kay products years ago. Some twenty years later, she is now working for this fine organization, and when I heard about it, I decided I had to know more about DSWA. I was able to meet Nicki and Grace at their National Convention that they held in LA last month, and let me tell you- it was love at first sight! Watching Grace and Nicki was like observing an artist in action-a rare treat for me, as I experienced for the first time, the vibe called DSWA.

The first question I asked them was “Who started DSWA?” and Nicki immediately chimed in to tell her story. She had been involved in Direct Selling for over 25 years, and had worked all aspects of the business. Nicki realized that there was no association to support all the various channels of the Direct Sales world, and as they say, “find a need and fill it”- fill it she did!

What I love about Nicki and Grace is that they are the real deal, and that the association is reflective of the “Aloha” spirit. If you have ever been to Hawaii, you know what I’m talking about. Their passion, heart, soul, and sheer determination brought this dream to a reality back in February 2003, after two years of preparation. This is truly a “grass-roots” organization that has plenty to share if you are in Direct Sales, MLM, or Network Marketing. This wonderful organization is a place you can call home.

Home is a key word at DSWA for many reasons. For starters, home is where this dream was born, and where it evolved from a two-bedroom home that seven people shared with limited resources, to what it is today. Secondly, all of the employees are based from home so that they may truly know the needs of their community. As Nicki said, “We believe there is no better way to understand your members then to live the lifestyle they live as a “home-based” and “home – managed” business. We feel you manage your business from home however you base your business out in the world.”

So, if you are looking for a Direct Selling organization that has some local meetings to connect with like-minded individuals ~ check out http://www.mydswa.org/.

There you will find the local meeting locations. Once at the meetings, you will experience a “safe place” where all types of products and service folks can come together and become masters at their trade, without the constant pressure of recruitment to other companies. They have a strict code of ethics that support the members to thrive in ways that have not been possible before, as their world was running on different terms for these folks until DSWA came around.

The key to their success is that while they do not allow any recruiting amongst the members, they both allow and encourage members to buy from other members. I was surprised by some stats that Nikki shared with me. She said if each person only bought $100.00 of products from a Direct Sales person, that would crank 7.2 billion into the Direct Sales Channel and 3.6 million dollars of the money comes back in commission awards and incentives back in the field. What better economic stimulus package could you dream of? We all have friends in this world, and I'm sure we could all divert $100 per month from the retail establishments and support another entrepreneur.

In the old days, everyone in this arena saw each as either competition or potential- someone to sell to or recruit. Thanks to DSWA, today they see it as collaboration and support. This is the principle that DSWA was founded on.

The agenda is easy:

Registration

Open: Code of Honor overview

Welcome

Guest Speaker (education)

Bid Table / Share products and services

Networking

DSWA is an organization that supports its members beyond the local meeting.

Grace shared that it only cost $89.00 to become a member. You can also try out the benefits for 30 days for only $1.00. I was shocked by such an easy price to pay for the value you receive.

They have a top-notch website, ongoing training, community, and an e-support system that distributes their 1,000+ recordings, all of which represent the top names in the training field. Their web stuff rocks, and they have a ton of reasons why you would find this of extreme benefit to your growth as a Direct Sales Professional.

The web benefits include:

• Discounted marketing and communication
• Audio recording
  
• Email system
  
• Discounted DSWA products
  
• Insurance, including dental, health, hospitilization, chiropractic and more
  
• Central meeting place
  
• Tons of training via articles, tip/quotes, tele-classes, and multimedia training coming soon
  
• Community
  
• Networking
  
• Service discounts such as Office Max, Fed Ex, long distance, etc
  

Beyond the obvious need for this organization, as Grace explained, was the heart aspect of the organization. Her mother Nicki wanted to help children with their self-esteem. As a teacher, this was a huge desire of hers -to be a force to help mold the self-esteem of her students. The model didn’t reach its intended desires, as the kids went home to their dysfunctional families. So, my mom decided that if she was going to cause real change for the kids, she would have to get to the root cause -through the parents: the parents in the world of Direct Selling. “I’ll allow the parents to learn and experience what a healthy self-esteem looks like and they in turn are the example for the children.”

It was so uplifting listening to Grace tell story after story of people who were on the verge of giving up before they got involved with DSWA. After listening to a class or attending a meeting, many of them had a 180 degree turn-around experiences and went on to become one of the top producers in their companies. Grace shared the many stories like a proud mother. Grace has a way of drawing you in and making you feel loved and cared for from the first hello. Her mother came to her with the idea years ago and she jumped right in. The success of this organization is due to this duo being a much needed “light” to support our youth with the most important of all gifts, the gift of a healthy self-esteem ~ the gift that fuels their every step on their life journeys. This gift above all others ensures God’s vision is fully expressed through every individual. If you don’t have a healthy self-esteem you wouldn’t be able to gift your talents to the world. Do you want to know the core of DSWA …Love thy self first ~ in learning to love yourself first you will then be the love that will light the way for your children so they can stand strong and love themselves and so on and so on it goes.

DSWA is much more than an association; it is a much needed community. This is one organization that feels like home the minute you are lucky enough to meet either Nicki or Grace. DSWA is not only a welcome community for you as a Direct Selling Professional, but it is a home for your business, a home for your heart, and a home for your soul!

If you want more information you can reach the client service department at 888-417-0743 or www.dswa.org or email them at info@dswa.org

*******
Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW). All rights reserved.

To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/ For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/

You are also invited to click our buttons:




-------
Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

U.S. SOUTHWEST: DSWA - The Aloha Spirit Thrives in This Direct Sellers Association

SOUTH AFRICA: Cell Phones During Meetings - How Serious are You to Build Your Business Relationships?

By Karl Smith
South Africa Bureau Chief

Today I want to talk about a trend in the business environment namely “cell phones during meetings”. I might have missed these during my formal studies or perhaps a business grooming school in South Africa or elsewhere are training business people to be experts in it. If you know of such institution, please let me know. I was having a coffee at a restaurant in Durbanville (Cape Town) after my keynote speech at a business network breakfast. I left the event satisfied that attendees not only learned some vital relationship-building skills but they showed delight in the fact that it was not another eating - and - speech presentation: they were involved and made contacts!

Enjoying a cup of coffee after the delivery of a keynote or workshop is a ritual I follow before moving to my next task. Whilst sipping my coffee, a loudly spoken gentleman - dressed smartly in a very expensive business suit - introduced himself to someone who seemed to be a prospective client. Now you know, nowadays with cell (mobile) phones around - you can hear everything without eavesdropping, because many cell phone users are loud! He interrupted the meeting with his conversation partner at least four times to answer the phone. You may or may not know that active listening with sufficient eye contact and a warm smile, when appropriate, are key ingredients in showing sincere interest in your conversation partner. What I cannot understand is how so many people make contact, secure an appointment and then enter the meeting with his/her cell phone switched on. I understand if one expects an urgent call and you declare this before you start the meeting e.g. “Karl, I value your time but I am keeping my phone switched on because…). And then only for serious matters!

However, one finds these days that some people request meetings with you and then use half of your time to engage in conversations with others on their cell phones. This habit is not restricted to business meetings - just have a look at how many bosses are sitting with their cell phones switched on while they have meetings with their employees. What message do you think are you sending out to your conversation partner? Are you sincerely interested in his/her needs? Are they so unimportant? Do you fear that you next deal may be better? It is nothing less then face-to-face cold calling and then you wonder why people don’t buy you, your products, service or ideas?

John Maxwell in his book, 25 Ways to Win with People, stresses the importance of listening for people’s feeling not just their ideas. Says Peter Drucker, “The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.” One should put oneself in a good mental environment for listening says Maxell. If you are aware of a grooming school where they groom business people that it is acceptable business etiquette to enter meetings with cell phones switched on – then please let me know!


Karl Smith is South Africa’s Business Networking & Referral Coach and the owner of ExecuEdge Consulting - a successful consulting and business relationships training company. Visit www.businessnetworkingsouthafrica.co.za to see Karl in action, see what Karl’s clients says, book Karl to speak or to do in-company training, attend a public event, subscribe to his newsletter or to use the free networking resources.

Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

SOUTH AFRICA: Cell Phones During Meetings - How Serious are You to Build Your Business Relationships?