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Monday, May 25, 2009

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF NETWORKING: Deadly Mistaken Practices Smart People Make- Part I

The Psychology of Networking
with Christine M. West, MS, CMHT

We reside in a fast touch and go world where social media, symbolic communication and environmental influences shape and model behavior. People are social creatures who by natural self-means are organized, reflective, regulated and proactive as opposed to reactive organisms to the environment. Social systems dominate the road for human advancement and adaptation. Human beings represent the created product of each and every social system. Human beings continually learn, influence and model the behavior in their social system. This is the very reason why these human social networks have power.

Many of today’s social systems have conditioned many smart people to deadly practices that result in missed opportunities, superficial relationships, mistaken assessments, wish-washy outcomes, stagnation and a limited relationship with prosperity. It is our responsibility to become aware if our social system is pulling us up or dragging us down.

The following are mistaken practices that many smart people make:

1. People want to succeed yet their fear fuels resistance which stops the required changes to take place. For success to progress the new behavior needs to be congruently aligned with the other pieces and parts of the person, group and environment, otherwise regression probably will take place.

If a person is involved in a social system that continually feeds limitations and fear, the individual is faced with a choice to either leave the social system or allow regression to take place and be pulled back into a limited environment.

The overall strength in successful change is derived from group work. The change spreads with group willingness and agreement.

If an individual really wants to strive for more, then is better to find a social group to pull us up to a new level of success.

2. Many lack a clear focus. We can focus on what is or what is not working. We can also focus on what we believe in or do not believe in. Winning scenarios focus on learning to use the tools and resources available in the moment. Often this requires innovation, compromise and adjustments to occur. The key to success is to focus on what you really want and let go of the rest.

3. Many smart people give into their limitations and stop learning. The energy we place on our self-created limitations results in us believing that everyone we encounter lives in the same limited box we do. We think everyone perceives our situation in the same light also. We believe if we cannot find a solution then no one can. We believe we are the end all be all and think we have climbed to the highest plateau. Yet our greatest mistake is failing to pay attention to what we could truly find out from another. The funny piece of this equation is we deny prosperity and signs that could help us. We need to adopt the courage to get out of our own way and start listening and asking open-ended questions.

4. We need to allow ourselves to model what we want. This means the human being is required to pay attention, observe and through a heightened awareness new behaviors are accessible for espousal and installation. The new behaviors include innovative creativity to perceive the world from a different view that includes expanded cognitive ability, advancement in linguistic communication and improvements to regulate and motivate one’s attitude and demeanor.

The process of observational learning creates shifts in behavior, thinking patterns and learning new knowledge. Modeling has strong motivational effects because people want the same success as experienced in another. Values and beliefs play an influencing role with motivation. The value a person assigns to the perceived outcome along with the belief to reach the outcome is determined by the relationship between the value and the outcome and the relationship between the belief and the outcome.

So therefore if we value what we believe and belief in our own value, then we will soon see we are an effect of our beliefs. The choice is ours, we will always see what we believe in and value.

In closing Part I, our choices of the past have created our circumstance of today. It is healthy acknowledge this fact and to learn from the past. Yet it is unhealthy to live in circumstances that cannot be changed. Life occurs in the present and paying to now has great reward and meaningful purpose. Precious gifts exist in the present moment if we only will allow ourselves to stay focused in the here and now.



Author: Christine M. West, TheBusinessMD, 2240 E. Tudor Rd. #976, Anchorage, Alaska, USA 99507. Phone 1-907-223-8403. Email:, TheBusinessMD offers transformational services to assist better human relationships in the workplace. Ms. West is also a Featured Columnist for the National Networker
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