DEEPENING NETWORKING THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS: Lessons From Busy Networking Professionals

Deepening Networking Through Relationships

with Christine Sotmary, M.S., L.Ac., CPC

I'll be the busy networking professional today. We are having a holiday, so I gave my networking friends the day off.

I'm sitting outside on this sunny Memorial Day in the U.S.A., a day set aside to remember our military men and women. I got to thinking about how many additional groups deserve to be remembered and acknowledged. This isn't a competition, after all, I trust that our hearts can hold all of them. Starting with the hundreds of years of soldiers leaving homes to go off to often dangerous places, we can remember all the friends and families they left behind. Then there are the loved ones who cared for those many service people who came home injured or emotionally altered by their experiences.

Why discuss this in a networking publication? Because……people like to be remembered, respected, appreciated and acknowledged. It's human nature. When I remember the support persons that live in the shadows, behind the "main event", I open a world of giving and receiving. Some of these contacts may be good for our businesses but all of them are good for our souls.

Christine's 5 Networking rules for remembering the people in the shadows:

* I always get to know the support staff. They often are the ones with the "boots on the ground" information to make my life a little easier.

* When I remember, which isn't nearly as often as I would like, I make it a habit to ackowledge people who are quietly making this world a better place, such as medical teams, office workers, and cab drivers, thereby bringing sunshine to them and often opening the doors for me.

* I find the value in the people behind the scenes and marvel at their talents and skill sets. Let's see, in just the theater, there's the lighting, sound, costumes, makeup, hair, stunts, special effects and the list goes on. As I work on my projects I network to find the best folks and value their roles as much as my own. I would be a very lonely bass player if I hadn't found the talented musicians I work with.

* I love working on projects with a team. Divas are usually out front but the task of collaborating goes to the team making an event come to life. When was the last wedding you attended where things flowed effortlessly from one activity to the next? It takes teamwork to make things run that smoothly.

* I've learned that all of this is networking. Trying to contact a CEO without befriending their gatekeepers is a tough road to travel. I look everywhere for connections and by doing this have seen my network grow in depth and effectiveness in a relatively short period of time.

When we are able to see the value in all of our contacts and realize that it takes time to earn their trust and respect we can start growing a solid network of resources that we can count on later. It's like having a savings account of sorts, standing ready when we need it.

Just the other day I was able to give a friend 3 referrals only minutes after she finished a conversation with someone who was going to help her double her business sphere. Their deal was based on her quickly being able to fill 6 job positions and I was immediately able to help her with 3 of them. These were all support and service slots and I had gathered these connections over the last several years of networking. I was happy to be helping so many of my contacts find work, while helping my friend expand her business at the same time. Win, win for them and a win for me too!

So the lesson for me is to befriend the folks that are often forgotten, value them, acknowledge their talents and skills, work in teams with them and take the time to grow strong relations for future connections.

For more information you can sign up for my 3 newsletters or contact me at:
www.gotbetterhealth.com
www.gotcoaching.com
www.manhattanmetabolic.com
www.acucoach.com

You can also read more at my 2 blogs:
www.sotmary.com
www.metabolicmatters.com
You can also purchase my book at:
www.christinesotmary.blogspot.com
www.livingontheverge.com




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DEEPENING NETWORKING THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS: Lessons From Busy Networking Professionals

DEEPENING NETWORKING THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS: Deepening Relationships While Defying Time

Deepening Networking Through Relationships

with Christine Sotmary, M.S., L.Ac., CPC

The first time Denise Scotto and I met was at a new Salsa social at the Spanish Cultural Center's La Nacional in New York City. Dancers are creatures of habit and have their usual haunts. Most of the time their events start late in the evening. This was a new place and an early hour. Right from the top we hit it off as we sat there for over 3 hours waiting for things to get started. We talked and talked, sharing our lives and our philosophies. Having strong beliefs and similar values made it easy to engage on many levels and the time flew by.

Because Denise is an effective leader in issues surrounding women, children and health, I wanted to have her share with you her thoughts on how deepening her relationships has impacted her life and business.

I asked her what she values most about networking, and this is what she shared with me:
"What I hold dear about networking is building relationships--relationships require an investment of one's time and one's energy. It's not about collecting shoe boxes of business cards if you haven't established relationships. Some deepen as time goes on and others change."

Since she is so busy with all her projects, I wondered how she has time to work with so many people whom she considers friends:
"When I speak about investing time and energy, it's important that it be mutual or a two way street. Relationships can't be built by one person alone. In the past I have given and given and given and seen how it hasn't served me and doesn't lead to respect. Respect is another important aspect to all of this and I fully believe that without it, there is no possibility of having an enduring relationship. The ability to agree to disagree with another and to understand it's not a personal rejection but a difference of opinion is the key. It is important to keep this in mind and to talk things through. While we may not see eye to eye, if we have similar core values we can move forward with respect, integrity and trust. Communication and having a safe environment to talk can take us to another level."

I asked Denise how she keeps things fresh and open hearted in her networking:
"The ability to let things evolve and to not box things up is another difficult but important way to approach networking and building relationships. Exploring potentialities as we learn about others can lead to unimagined situations."

The last thing I wanted to know from Denise was what was the most important thing she learned from her experience building and deepening her relationships:
"I would say, trust your instincts. If you're not comfortable with someone then don't force yourself to make something happen. It's important to honor yourself and work through fear and lack of confidence, but if there's the proverbial oil and vinegar, then listen to the inner wisdom. Sometimes, it's about timing or things may not get off to a good start but, sometimes it's about the other person. Keeping open is important, but it's also important to recognize that we won't necessarily be liked by everyone or get along well with everyone, and that's okay too. I aim to be my best self and know when I look in the mirror that I like what I see and feel comfortable with who I am.

Here's what Denise had to say about how taking the time to deepen her relationships worked in a practical way in her life:
"Years ago, I was a practicing trial lawyer and felt deeply frustrated and burnt out. A major change in my life and career was calling me. Through my professional bar association activities with international law, I was invited to attend a reception organized as a parallel event in connection with the prepatory committee meeting for the creation of the International Criminal Court at the United Nations. At that reception I met two older women, one an attorney. As it turns out, the woman attorney invited me to be a representative of the legal organization she was involved in at the UN. Through this legal organization, I started attending various inter-governmental meetings and other events and later worked at the UN for many years on a series of short- term contracts.

“The other woman, I am happy to say, is a close friend. We collaborated on many issues at the UN by organizing high level events on matters including the situation of civilians in times of war and political instability, the rape of women and girls in war, the situation of child soldiers, the effects of war on veterans, important legal conventions that relate to women, children, the disabled, etc."

So you can see why I found Denise so interesting that first night as we waited for the dancers to arrive. We have stayed friends over this past year and gotten involved in more than just Salsa dancing. Denise is not only a lawyer but a holistic healer, too; since that is a world I know quite well, I have brought her to my networking events and introduced her to other practitioners and healers. She in turn has helped me get the word out about my memoir and introduced me to several powerful women at the UN who specialize in issues relating to long-term caregiving and the elderly. I look forward to our meetings every couple of weeks to find out what projects Denise is working on because she is living a powerful life that directly helps so many in this global village of ours.

You can find Denise Scotto at:
917-348-5483
denise.scotto@gmail.com
www.denisscotto.com


You can contact Christine Sotmary at:
Getting On Track Coaching
www.gotcoaching.com
917-273-1308sotmary@gmail.com www.livingontheverge.com www.christinesotmary.blogspot.com www.sotmary.com


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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER. All rights reserved.
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To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to www.TheNationalNetworker.com. For the complete National Networker Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com.

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DEEPENING NETWORKING THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS: Deepening Relationships While Defying Time

DEEPENING NETWORKING THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS: Lessons from Busy Networking Professionals

Deepening Networking Through Relationships with Christine Sotmary M.S., L.Ac., CPC

I learned back in the early 1970's that moving to a new place and starting all over again was no fun unless I was able to quickly make friends. Sometimes I would feel comfortable socializing with my co-workers and sometimes my interests would lead me to new contacts like the time I joined a women's softball team and was surprised to meet musicians and theater buffs like myself.

When I moved to Peekskill, New York I had a dilemma on my hands. I was the full time caregiver for my partner who was afflicted with Alzheimer's disease and wasn't getting out of the house very much. I also had 3 businesses to manage and needed to network in my new area and find some local clients. How was I to make new contacts and meet new friends?

That's when I met Barb Bodnar. We were at a local jam session, she was in the audience and I was playing jazz bass. I had taken Alan, my partner, with me and he was happily enjoying the music, sitting in the audience next to Barb. When I sat down, little did I know how much my life was about to change. As Barb and I began talking and I described a little about myself, she immediately had suggestions, referrals and offered more support than I ever imagined could come from one person. She recommended networking groups for my businesses and Rotary for my need to find a connection to my community. She knew everyone in town and whenever I mentioned something I might need, she had a name and a phone number ready for me.

Fast forward to 3 years later. My sweetie has left this planet and now Barb and I are fast friends. We network like crazy locally at live meetings, BNI breakfasts, Chamber events, or more recently online with social networking groups.

She is a residential real estate broker and has many wonderful, qualified people that she works closely with: stagers, inspectors, lawyers, mortgage brokers, bankers and the list goes on. She is always the first to volunteer to chair a committee for the Peekskill Rotary and is planning the club’s 90th Anniversary celebration.

I recently asked Barb for her ideas about networking and relationship building as they relate to her business and social life and this is what she said.

Barb's rules

· Relationships underpin who we are, whether they be with family, friends, work associates, mates. They require nurturing and will change over time.

· All kinds of relationships offer the opportunity to network. This is why it is important not to dismiss how a friend, or family member, for example, can further your goals.

· Don’t dismiss the opportunity to network for fear that it will be interpreted as seeking personal gain. Give first without expecting to receive and it will come back ten fold.

· Fruitful networking is not about how many people you know but the quality of your “database.” What’s important is the ability to individualize those contacts, bearing in mind who might be helpful to you and in what way.

· Be open to business relationships blossoming into personal friendships.

· When “our cards are right” we do business with people whom we’ve learned to trust. We can then feel confident they will treat our referrals respectfully and reflect well on us.

Barb is a busy gal around town, is completely plugged in to modern technology and still finds time to meet with people for social events. She told me this story to illustrate how her networking with friends has come back and supported her in her business.

Some years ago, she was having dinner with an attorney friend who was also a client. Her friend introduced her to a man who was a commercial broker, appraiser and a property manager. Barb, a residential real estate agent, and her new acquaintance became friends over the next several years.

As the friendship grew, her new friend began to refer residential business to her. Depending on the situation, Barbara would work with the new client on her own, or she and her broker friend would share the referral. One cooperative venture resulted in the sale of 8 units for one client followed by another 6 with a referral for the initial attorney. Both friends were pleased.

Today, their friendship and their business relationship endure because it is one based on trust, integrity and good will.

Like Barb, I have been able to leverage many of my relationships into clients for my businesses. Earning their trust and showing my interest in what I can do for them comes first. A licensed acupuncturist, I have been able to help many stressed out friends with acupuncture when they start to feel overwhelmed. Others feel exhausted all the time and might need to know what foods to eat. That's when I'll do my Metabolic Testing. Still other busy networkers I encounter need help with time management in their work lives so and we'll do some Life Coaching to find some balance in their lives.

I recently wrote a memoir, "Living On the Verge of Insanity: loving lessons learned from my sweetie's early-onset Alzheimer's disease," and sent it to the printer. I was able to send announcements to people I have built relationships with over the years and the orders are already coming in. I am now focusing on coaching and talking with caregivers who need to be inspired to receive as much as they give including our utmost respect. More on that in the coming months.

One of my important rules is that I am never too busy for a conversation or a chance to meet a friend. I consider relationship building the top of my to do list.

For more information you can sign up for my 3 newsletters or contact me at:

www.gotbetterhealth.com

www.gotcoaching.com

www.manhattanmetabolic.com

www.acucoach.com

You can also read more at my 2 blogs:

www.sotmary.com

www.metabolicmatters.com

You can also purchase my book at:

www.livingontheverge.com

Barb can be reached at:

Barbara Bodnar, Associate Broker CRS SRES GRI ABR

ColdwellBanker Residential Brokerage

www.barbarabodnar.net

914-649.2018

"Real Estate with Heart"

___________________________________________________________

Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER. To subscribe for your free newsletter, go to www.TheNationalNetworker.com. For the complete National Networker Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free, continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com. You are also invited to click our buttons:


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DEEPENING NETWORKING THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS: Lessons from Busy Networking Professionals