Deepening Networking Through Relationshipswith Christine Sotmary, M.S., L.Ac., CPC
The first time Denise Scotto and I met was at a new Salsa social at the Spanish Cultural Center's La Nacional in New York City. Dancers are creatures of habit and have their usual haunts. Most of the time their events start late in the evening. This was a new place and an early hour. Right from the top we hit it off as we sat there for over 3 hours waiting for things to get started. We talked and talked, sharing our lives and our philosophies. Having strong beliefs and similar values made it easy to engage on many levels and the time flew by.
Because Denise is an effective leader in issues surrounding women, children and health, I wanted to have her share with you her thoughts on how deepening her relationships has impacted her life and business.
I asked her what she values most about networking, and this is what she shared with me:
"What I hold dear about networking is building relationships--relationships require an investment of one's time and one's energy. It's not about collecting shoe boxes of business cards if you haven't established relationships. Some deepen as time goes on and others change."
Since she is so busy with all her projects, I wondered how she has time to work with so many people whom she considers friends:
"When I speak about investing time and energy, it's important that it be mutual or a two way street. Relationships can't be built by one person alone. In the past I have given and given and given and seen how it hasn't served me and doesn't lead to respect. Respect is another important aspect to all of this and I fully believe that without it, there is no possibility of having an enduring relationship. The ability to agree to disagree with another and to understand it's not a personal rejection but a difference of opinion is the key. It is important to keep this in mind and to talk things through. While we may not see eye to eye, if we have similar core values we can move forward with respect, integrity and trust. Communication and having a safe environment to talk can take us to another level."
I asked Denise how she keeps things fresh and open hearted in her networking:
"The ability to let things evolve and to not box things up is another difficult but important way to approach networking and building relationships. Exploring potentialities as we learn about others can lead to unimagined situations."
The last thing I wanted to know from Denise was what was the most important thing she learned from her experience building and deepening her relationships:
"I would say, trust your instincts. If you're not comfortable with someone then don't force yourself to make something happen. It's important to honor yourself and work through fear and lack of confidence, but if there's the proverbial oil and vinegar, then listen to the inner wisdom. Sometimes, it's about timing or things may not get off to a good start but, sometimes it's about the other person. Keeping open is important, but it's also important to recognize that we won't necessarily be liked by everyone or get along well with everyone, and that's okay too. I aim to be my best self and know when I look in the mirror that I like what I see and feel comfortable with who I am.
Here's what Denise had to say about how taking the time to deepen her relationships worked in a practical way in her life:
"Years ago, I was a practicing trial lawyer and felt deeply frustrated and burnt out. A major change in my life and career was calling me. Through my professional bar association activities with international law, I was invited to attend a reception organized as a parallel event in connection with the prepatory committee meeting for the creation of the International Criminal Court at the United Nations. At that reception I met two older women, one an attorney. As it turns out, the woman attorney invited me to be a representative of the legal organization she was involved in at the UN. Through this legal organization, I started attending various inter-governmental meetings and other events and later worked at the UN for many years on a series of short- term contracts.
“The other woman, I am happy to say, is a close friend. We collaborated on many issues at the UN by organizing high level events on matters including the situation of civilians in times of war and political instability, the rape of women and girls in war, the situation of child soldiers, the effects of war on veterans, important legal conventions that relate to women, children, the disabled, etc."
So you can see why I found Denise so interesting that first night as we waited for the dancers to arrive. We have stayed friends over this past year and gotten involved in more than just Salsa dancing. Denise is not only a lawyer but a holistic healer, too; since that is a world I know quite well, I have brought her to my networking events and introduced her to other practitioners and healers. She in turn has helped me get the word out about my memoir and introduced me to several powerful women at the UN who specialize in issues relating to long-term caregiving and the elderly. I look forward to our meetings every couple of weeks to find out what projects Denise is working on because she is living a powerful life that directly helps so many in this global village of ours.
You can find Denise Scotto at:
917-348-5483
denise.scotto@gmail.com
www.denisscotto.com
You can contact Christine Sotmary at:
Getting On Track Coaching
www.gotcoaching.com
917-273-1308
sotmary@gmail.com www.livingontheverge.com www.christinesotmary.blogspot.com www.sotmary.com####
Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER. All rights reserved.
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