CONNECTING IS NOT ENOUGH: Now That’s What I Don’t Call Networking – Ten Commonly Held Networking Myths

Connecting Is Not Enough with Andy Lopata

This month, UK business networking strategist Andy Lopata looks at ten of the most commonly held beliefs about networking, and why he believes they are wrong.

Andy will show you why:

- Networking is not all about events, sales or number of connections

- Your network may be wider than you think

- A more focused approach to networking will save time, rather than waste it.


Networking is selling
Most businesses will attend generic networking events, such as BNI or Chambers of Commerce, to generate more business. That is fine; the problem is that they limit their scope to generating business from the people at the event, rather than looking to build the relationships that could lead to referrals.

That’s not to say you can’t allow people to buy from you, but they will make that decision based on your conversation, not from being sold to.

If everyone attending an event is there primarily to sell, can there be a worse environment to do so? After all, no one is in buying mode. Networking is an essential part of any business development strategy, but you should always look to sell through the people present, not to them.


Networking is easy
It’s easy to fall into the trap of attending a large number of events, contributing actively to social networking sites and believing you are a good networker. If you are comfortable in other people’s company and enjoy the interaction, it can be great fun.

That doesn’t necessarily mean it will lead to new business though. It’s not enough to enjoy the process, you need to have a clear idea of what your objectives from networking are, understand your commitment to your network to make that happen and communicate your needs clearly to those who want to help.

If you undertake the necessary planning, networking can be fun and feel simple. You do need to put the thought in first though, and keep tracking results.


Networking is manipulative
Many attendees on my workshops have a negative perception of networking. They feel that it is about using people for personal gain, putting on a false front at events and only viewing people for what they can offer you.

Effective networking is completely different. Networking is the collaboration between people and businesses to enable all of us to achieve a greater potential than we can achieve on our own. I have expertise, experience, ideas and contacts which could help you achieve your goals, and you can support me where I am weak.

There is nothing manipulative about networking if you are as willing to give as you are to take. And people putting on a false personality will struggle to build the deep relationships that lead to people wanting to support and connect them over a sustained period of time.


Networking is about events
Think of networking and most people will picture a room full of people wearing name badges and swapping business cards. Networking events are not ‘networking’, they merely help facilitate the process by presenting opportunities for people to build their network, develop deeper relationships and learn from each other.

Networking is the system of connections within a wider network, including work colleagues, suppliers, clients and (controversially for some) family, friends and social contacts. It is from this bank of relationships that true support will be freely offered.


Networking is about the size of your network
It’s not what you know or who you know, as many people believe. Instead, it’s who knows you and what they say about you.

Modern networking culture has been driven by numbers. Bosses will ask their staff how many business cards they collected at an event, not what they have done to follow up the people behind the cards and build the relationships. Online networkers will boast about the number of connections they have on LinkedIn, friends on Facebook or followers on Twitter.

Connecting with someone on a superficial level, by exchanging cards or accepting an online request, holds little long-term value. If networking is about supporting each other, the motivation to do so comes from liking and trusting people. That comes from building relationships, not adding extra notches to your networking bedpost.


Networking is not scaleable
There is a belief among many larger organisations that networking is a pastime confined to small and micro businesses, that once you reach a certain size, networking is no longer relevant.

If you sell a product to millions of people then you won’t look for them at networking events, that is fair enough. However, we have established above that networking isn’t about selling anyway. Larger firms still understand the power of word of mouth and ‘Buzz’ marketing, with endorsements from friends and peers having more leverage than advertising. That means they need to tap into the networks of their customers and prospects to get their message across.

Networking also provides access to introducers, trusted suppliers, relevant expertise and market knowledge, all of which have an essential role to play in the success of any business…of any size.


You don’t meet anyone influential at networking
Another myth born of the ‘networking is selling’ school. First of all, you never know who you might meet when you are networking. I have met some amazing people and some who are in very influential positions.

Secondly, never forget the power of ‘Six Degrees of Separation’. People don’t just bring themselves to events, they bring their networks; their family, friends, clients, colleagues and neighbours. Reading someone’s name badge may invite you to dismiss them as not of interest to you. Instead, get to know the people you meet, show a real interest in them and focus on building the relationship.

You will never find out to whom they are connected and who they might be happy to introduce you to if you don’t get to know them first.


Networking is hugely time consuming
Yes, you have to commit time to your networking. But if you plan it effectively it will both help you avoid attending events which don’t add value and also save you time elsewhere. After all, if you can get a steady stream of referrals from your network, recommendations for suppliers and access to new ideas and feedback for your business, you’ll make fewer mistakes and need to invest less time and money in other initiatives.

The time commitment needed to effectively use social networks, such as LinkedIn and Twitter, also puts a lot of people off. However, if you invest some time at the beginning building your profile and connections, you can then target your time and activity to the result you want to achieve. I believe that, for example, after you have laid the initial groundwork, ten minutes activity a day, or even a week, on LinkedIn will produce great results.


Networking is awkward, difficult and embarrassing
Having co-authored a book based on the premise that people are frightened of walking into a room full of strangers, I can understand and sympathise with people’s reticence to do so.

The nerves are no reason not to attend events however. People don’t have the same trepidation about going out socially and meeting friends of their friends. They don’t put on an act, plan their conversation in advance or exchange elevator pitches.

If you act naturally and ‘be yourself’ networking events can be very enjoyable. Think of it as mixing with like-minded people, relax and find something in common to talk about. There may be some discomfort when initiating a conversation, but from there, more often than not, it should be plain sailing.


There are industries that don’t network
“Networking is fine for small, b-2-b businesses, but it doesn’t work for our industry”. Such comments are common when I talk to different groups about networking. But if I explore further I often find that the opposite is true.

This belief, like many of the others, comes back to the perception of networking as a room full of people trying to sell to each other. Yet most industries have professional bodies and associations who put on events for their members to learn more and to connect. Everyone, irrespective of their industry, needs to have networks of suppliers and buyers (formal or otherwise) and know to whom to pick up the phone.

Niche networks are growing, both online and face to face. Networking is becoming more prevalent in all types of business and all types of industry. Those who don’t believe it is for them are the ones who will be left behind.

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Are you struggling to put an effective networking or referral strategy into place? Do you want to know more about how to ensure you get the maximum possible return from your networking?

Visit Andy's brand new website at http://www.lopata.co.uk/ for more resources and ideas about how Andy can help you.

Andy's new book, on how to generate an effective referral strategy, will be published in early 2011.

“In this book Andy Lopata demonstrates how so many businesses ignore potentially their most powerful resource – their networks. Andy’s in-depth, practical advice will show you how to both build and profit from the relationships in your network.”

Ivan Misner, NY Times Bestselling author and Founder of BNI and Referral Institute

Andy's Audio program, "Networking in Ninety Minutes," will give you the tools you need to make the most from your networking. Available in CD or mp3 format here.

Andy Lopata's newsletter archive
Andy Lopata's LinkedIn profile
Join Connecting is not Enough - Andy Lopata's Facebook Page


For more information, please visit Andy's TNNWC Bio.

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CONNECTING IS NOT ENOUGH: Now That’s What I Don’t Call Networking – Ten Commonly Held Networking Myths

KENSEL TRACY: Welcome to a World of an Extremely Wired Woman

by Kensel Tracy

It’s a crazy tough world out there and women networkers in the technology field in Canada now have a new group to network with. Called Wired Women, the organization is a new networking group that focuses in on helping women in the technology field grow their business, their networks or their careers and it has now has branches open now in Toronto and Vancouver.

Network, educate and mentor are three words that have guided the volunteer networking group Wired Woman since its inception and symbolize and remain the pillars of the organization.

Wired Woman’s mission is to create an environment that encourages women to explore opportunities in technology, science and new media and to build successful careers that will allow them to become a driving force in these expanding sectors.

If you are finding it a challenge to meet people in the technology, science and new media sector then Wired Women helps you network. The group’s intention is to attract as many talented, interesting women in technology as possible, to grow our community and to provide forums for everyone to interact without the barrier of an annual fee.

At regular events, seminars and social functions Wired Women provides members and volunteers with real opportunities to gain exposure to an industry that otherwise can seem intimidating and confusing. It helps women to grow their network, meet interesting people and make lifelong connections.

Wired Woman also runs regular workshops, seminars and events to educate and empower women in the technology sector. They also provide training, support and resources to help their members learn more about the many opportunities available.

Volunteering for Wired Woman also provides an opportunity for members to gain hands on experience, add to their resumes and to learn more about their industry.

The mentoring comes in when you need help crafting your career path or for someone to talk to who is in the industry? Wired Woman members are invited to apply to join a 6-month mentorship program. Aimed at women entering or re-entering the work-force, it is designed to help women who need career guidance.

Mentors meet with mentees at least one hour, monthly, for the duration of the mentoring relationship. This career mentorship experience is enhanced with networking events and education workshops.

You can follow Wired Women on Twitter, and join the Wired Woman groups on Facebook (Wired Woman Society) and LinkedIn (Wired Woman).

For more information on Wired Women check out their website at www.wiredwomen.com
Kensel Tracy is the Marketing Coach with the Corporate Coachworkz Inc. in Chelsea Quebec and is President of Business Over Breakfast Clubs (BoB Clubs) of North America. If you have an interesting story contact him at kenselt@sympatico.ca

For more information, please visit Kensel's TNNW Bio.



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KENSEL TRACY: Welcome to a World of an Extremely Wired Woman

When Networking, Don't Be The Mouth

By Danielle Lum

Hawaii Bureau Chief

I was invited to attend a meeting. There were about 15 people there, of which I knew maybe three people. A great networking opportunity ever I've seen one!

The beginning of the meeting was open networking around a tray of sushi, shrimp and chips and dips. In networking fashion I met people, made connections and traded business cards.

I met some very nice people, and enjoyed the give and take of "what do you do?" and "how is your business doing in this economy?"

Enter The Mouth.

We all know The Mouth. You know, the person who won't stop talking about him or herself. How many times have we wanted to run, screaming, in the other direction when we see The Mouth coming? I know I can't count that high.

Anyway, I was in a two-way conversation when The Mouth edged her way into our sphere. We were talking about our businesses and people we knew in comment; there was give and take. She listened to me. I listened to her. It was quite pleasant actually.

It all changed when The Mouth joined us. The conversation switched to The Mouth. What The Mouth does, how great The Mouth is, how The Mouth single-handedly whipped Hawaii's economy into shape. I swear she didn't take a breath long enough for either of us to speak.

I was happy when the meeting got started because I finally had a way to politely excuse myself from The Mouth.

True to form, though, The Mouth dominated the meeting. She told of her experiences, viewpoint, and opinions. It was exhausting, and actually lengthened the meeting by at least 30 minutes. I could see rolling eyes around the meeting table as The Mouth droned on and on.

So today's lesson is simple: Don't Be The Mouth

Networking is about making connections. Finding what you have in common so the next time you see the person you're positively memorable. It means talking, asking questions, and more importantly, listening to the answers. Let the person you're connecting with be part of the conversation. Be a participant in the conversation, not the dominator.

You may be great at what you do, or you might be the expert on the topic of conversation. However, bombarding others with your brilliance at a networking function will earn you The Mouth status. If you really need to make a point or feel your insights or expertise would be valuable for the person with whom you are talking, arrange a follow up meeting or coffee.

You will make a better first impression and you'll get a second chance to make a connection.

I find that the people who leave me with the best impression are those who can hold a balance conversation. They ask as many questions as they answer and talk as much as they listen. It's easy to talk with them. Effortless. Connecting is easy because they make it easy to do so.

The choice is yours. Do you want to be The Mouth or leave a favorable impression.

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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER. To subscribe for your free newletter, go to www.TheNationalNetworker.com. For the complete National Networker Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free RSS feed, go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com.

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When Networking, Don't Be The Mouth

How Important is it to Attend Networking Events in This Internet Age?

By Bruce Newman Mid-Atlantic Bureau Chief (New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, Washington DC, Virginia, West Virginia)

I posed this question to subscribers of LinkedIn, my personal network, the companies and consultants at The Productivity Institute, and the subscribers of The National Networker and received many responses.

I also asked a friend of mine who is a very successful technical sales person. After asking the question, he looked at me with amazement in his eyes and exclaimed, “Of course you attend events and meet with a client or prospect. It’s the only way to gauge people and gain an understanding of their needs and motivations (and vice versa). Furthermore, you learn many things from them. For example, I found out about a golf game that I was able to join and interact with a very hard to reach executive”.

The responses I received to this question all agreed with this view; that even in our highly competitive and time-challenged workplace, it is still critical to attend events and meet with people. That despite the huge strides forward in technology, nothing replaces good eye contact and a warm handshake. One respondent stated that instead of meeting other people, we are desensitizing ourselves by being on the Internet and constantly creating text messages and emails. She felt that this enables us to maintain relationships but not create new ones or allow existing relationships to progress. Many respondents stated that attending events allowed them to meet new people and renew existing relationships, helping to ensure that their name and company name remain in the forefront.

However, there were caveats. Several people noted the increased number of networking opportunities that are currently available and the importance of being selective concerning which events or meetings to attend. Interestingly, many of them found the events to be unproductive, yet they still attend them.

Attending events is easy. Anyone can go to some event, pay their money (if necessary) and Poof!, they’re an attendee. That’s the easy part and where most people stop. Working an event is hard. Leo Goetz, who I interviewed for a prior article describes the need to actively work an event as being essential for success. He considers the trading of business cards as being passive and usually unproductive if that is the sole measure of the interaction.

What is needed is to realize that networking is an ongoing process that stretches from the initial contact stage through the development of a relationship. Creating a networking plan – complete with goals – in conjunction with a clear understanding of the purpose of an event is required for consistent success. Conversely, attending events unrelated to your area of interest or your goals helps explain why so many respondents cautioned against attending events just for the sake of attending events - and their frequent disappointment. Hope, at any time is important but rarely sufficient – and certainly not a reason to attend or keep on attending unrelated events. A networking plan also includes a rapid follow-up with almost every contact you make at an event since learning more about them and what they do helps build a relationship from which both parties can profit.

I have attended numerous events where I have told an individual or some company that I am interested in their product or service. And yet, more often than not they don’t contact me. Here’s a potential sale before them and they don’t act on it. Why attend or exhibit at an event if you’re not prepared and don’t take the necessary action?

Unfortunately, this passivity is all too common. An expert consultant hangs out a shingle and expects the world to come to him (or her). A company produces a great product but has no resources for marketing, blindly expecting a few announcements to produce enormous results. These actions represent hope – that’s important, but insufficient and unrealistic.

So, is attending events important? The almost unanimous answer appears to be, yes. The insightful answer is also yes, but only with a clear purpose and plan that allows an individual to focus on relevant and effective events while adhering to their plan's goals and actions. All of which explains the success of careful, active networkers and my friend, the technical salesperson.

Bruce Newman is a consulting guru and the Vice President at The Productivity Institute, LLC (http://www.prodinst.com/) which provides prodinst by matching the specific software products and services needs of companies to rated outstanding consultants who can meet those needs. Any company that wishes to improve their productivity can sign up for this free service and be contacted by up to five rated outstanding consultants.
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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER. To subscribe for your free newletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/. For the complete National Networker Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free RSS feed, go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/.

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How Important is it to Attend Networking Events in This Internet Age?