When Networking, Don't Be The Mouth

By Danielle Lum

Hawaii Bureau Chief

I was invited to attend a meeting. There were about 15 people there, of which I knew maybe three people. A great networking opportunity ever I've seen one!

The beginning of the meeting was open networking around a tray of sushi, shrimp and chips and dips. In networking fashion I met people, made connections and traded business cards.

I met some very nice people, and enjoyed the give and take of "what do you do?" and "how is your business doing in this economy?"

Enter The Mouth.

We all know The Mouth. You know, the person who won't stop talking about him or herself. How many times have we wanted to run, screaming, in the other direction when we see The Mouth coming? I know I can't count that high.

Anyway, I was in a two-way conversation when The Mouth edged her way into our sphere. We were talking about our businesses and people we knew in comment; there was give and take. She listened to me. I listened to her. It was quite pleasant actually.

It all changed when The Mouth joined us. The conversation switched to The Mouth. What The Mouth does, how great The Mouth is, how The Mouth single-handedly whipped Hawaii's economy into shape. I swear she didn't take a breath long enough for either of us to speak.

I was happy when the meeting got started because I finally had a way to politely excuse myself from The Mouth.

True to form, though, The Mouth dominated the meeting. She told of her experiences, viewpoint, and opinions. It was exhausting, and actually lengthened the meeting by at least 30 minutes. I could see rolling eyes around the meeting table as The Mouth droned on and on.

So today's lesson is simple: Don't Be The Mouth

Networking is about making connections. Finding what you have in common so the next time you see the person you're positively memorable. It means talking, asking questions, and more importantly, listening to the answers. Let the person you're connecting with be part of the conversation. Be a participant in the conversation, not the dominator.

You may be great at what you do, or you might be the expert on the topic of conversation. However, bombarding others with your brilliance at a networking function will earn you The Mouth status. If you really need to make a point or feel your insights or expertise would be valuable for the person with whom you are talking, arrange a follow up meeting or coffee.

You will make a better first impression and you'll get a second chance to make a connection.

I find that the people who leave me with the best impression are those who can hold a balance conversation. They ask as many questions as they answer and talk as much as they listen. It's easy to talk with them. Effortless. Connecting is easy because they make it easy to do so.

The choice is yours. Do you want to be The Mouth or leave a favorable impression.

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When Networking, Don't Be The Mouth