Things Of Value with Yossi FeigensonA little while ago I was walking home from a function with a good friend, who happens to be a leader in our community, an author, lecturer and an inspirational leader to boot. Suffice to say, he is well known in our parts and is a celebrity to many. As we are walking, we get stopped and greeted every half block, by a well wisher, a follower or a friend. Of course there is a warm greeting for a few words with each individual. It was evident that he relished these moments. This walk home was no ordinary stroll; it was an event in itself. In minor bewilderment and amusement I said to him: you really take your third place seriously. And, without skipping a beat he replied, ‘the in-between places are the hidden places where so much of life’s the joy exists’.
Our little verbal exchange and my friend’s intuitive response brought to light something so important, so valuable and yet so often overlooked. There is so much of our lives that occurs in the in between time, that it is crucial for us to be aware of this time and pay attention to how we spend it.
I’ve experienced changes in my professional life, and I no longer have a long subway commute. The convenience is fabulous, but something, something I hold dear was lost; a little slice of my third place. Allow me to explain: Besides for the usual hassles that accompany a normal commute, it had become my personal place where I would lose myself in great books, do crossword puzzles, study or simply zone out. I don’t want to say this too loudly, but I miss those days. Many of my fellow commuters share this same sentiment. If you observe folks on the NYC Subway system you will see that many of them turn this space into their own private living area.
A walk home from anywhere, a daily commute, a flight, waiting for an appointment, or any other “unscheduled” in-between time are all opportunities for us to take hold of and make our own.
The loose definition of the third place is the place and time in between the home and work. The time we spend at home and at work is mostly accounted for, and somewhat scheduled and structured. The third place is the time that will not show up on your outlook calendar, is not a time to study with a child, or even to eat dinner. Rather, it is a place in time, minutes or hours, which are hidden and so often go unnoticed that they barely exist.
Former chairman of the Federal Reserve, Alan Greenspan wrote in his memoir that he spends 15 minutes each day in quiet reflection. I gleaned as much insight from this passage Than I did from the rest of the book. Mr. Greenspan carved out of his insanely busy life a small pocket of time in which he allowed himself to reflect, think and rejuvenate.
This is not an article about time management. Rather, I’ll call it time awareness. The art and science of managing ones time are way beyond the scope of this discussion. There are hundreds of books on the subject and countless time management gurus ready to provide meaningful guidance in that regard. This is about appreciating the romance of a special time and seeing the value in it. It is about time value.
Diners and restaurants fashion themselves a third place. No company in recent memory has driven home this notion better than Starbucks. As Howard Schultz, the founder of Starbucks famously quipped “We're not in the business of filling bellies; we’re in the business of filling souls”. Sipping a hot drink in Starbucks has really become synonymous with the in-between place. Have you ever noticed how relaxed people appear to be in Starbucks? I personally think it is one of the greatest places to have a conversation. Better than the office, even better than home.
Every moment is precious. Many are filled with so much to do. Yet, there are hidden third places that can belong to us. Let’s use them. Let’s find the third places in our lives. Let’s be aware of them. Let’s cherish them.
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