JETNETTING: THE FIRST IMPRESSION FACTOR: XV - Your Handshake Matters

JetNetting with Heshie Segal

VALUE the power of the handshake; for, in that first instant, you will be judged.

A handshake is the first and only physical touch that is welcomed in business in the U.S. In a matter of seconds, your handshake will signal friendliness, hospitality, openness, confidence and respect, as well as contempt, ridicule, competitiveness and control. It is used to open and close business deals, make an introduction, welcome or greet someone, extend an invitation into someone's personal space as well as be the sign of departure.

A word of caution: any manner of shaking hands will be considered insincere if there is no eye contact. A strong grip can be painful and inappropriate for someone who has arthritis or any other debilitating condition. The same is true for the elderly or frail. The artist, musician, surgeon or any other person whose hands are used to create a livelihood should be placed in a similar category. A strong person should ensure the strength of their handshake is not overwhelming. Concomitantly, a weak handshake immediately raises questions related to the individual’s character.

Before judging someone based solely upon his or her handshake, consider the following:

Does your handshake have an attitude?

In Need of Life Support

A limp, wet noodle handshake usually indicates nervousness, a lack of confidence, disrespect or uncertainty.

The Aristocrat

A person who feels superior will likely grab your hand and attempt to turn it so that their palm is on top of yours. Offering your hand with your palm up suggests you are willing to assume a subordinate role.

Clash of the Sexes

When a man offers a woman a weak handshake, it may signify disrespect or superiority, a lack of confidence, not wanting to injure her or a cultural difference demonstrating respect by being gentle. A woman should initiate her own firm handshake, regardless of the man’s approach. When a woman offers another woman a weak handshake, it is usually a sign of low self-esteem.

The Crusher

A crushing handshake may indicate someone who is controlling or uncaring and conveys a message that the person is domineering, forceful and feels superior. A strong person should ensure that the strength of their handshake is not overwhelming. There is also the potential that someone is so strong or friendly they simply do not realize the strength of their handshake.

The Politician

The handshake that suggests familiarity is commonly referred to as the politician's handshake. A person who is trying to "win your favor or vote" will grasp the right hand of the other person and then cup the clasped hands with their own left hand. This person is anxious to have a familiar relationship without any basis and is often perceived as phony. This particular handshake is only acceptable (at least in the United States) for people who already know one another. There is a risk of offending the other individual by being overly personal before it is appropriate.

Handshake Know-How

1. Clean, dry hands are key. If you have eaten or your palms are sweaty, wash and dry them completely. Since most people are right handed, hold a drink in your left hand so you do not extend a wet, cold hand, or find yourself needing to wipe your hand on your clothes.

2. A smile and eye contact are two necessary companions to the handshake. A smile indicates friendliness and direct eye contact suggests a genuine desire to meet someone.

3. If you are uncertain whether a man or woman should extend a hand first, social etiquette dictates, especially from past norms, the woman initiates the handshake. Someone disabled or otherwise challenged should initiate the handshake to indicate what is acceptable for his or her particular disability.

4. Offer your hand from about three feet away, at a ninety-degree angle to the floor for no more than three to four seconds. The hand should be engaged, web-to-web (the V-area between the thumb and forefinger).

5. The Potent Power Gripper handshake furthermore engages the entire hand, mirroring and matching the other person’s grip, thus creating instant rapport.

6. A negative message is sent when using a two-handed shake (especially during a first time meeting), fingers only, iron man and/or limp, wet noodle handshakes.

A proper handshake, as perceived by the recipient, can make someone more willing to listen and pay attention to you. If you are uncertain what your handshake says about you, ask for feedback, then practice your technique while being conscious of the message you want to convey. The more conscious you are of your handshake, the more you will realize it is more than just a handshake….more than just a socially expected or dictated gesture. It is a transference of you are.

In the next article, Posture and, especially the story it conveys, will be highlighted.

For more information, please visit Heshie's TNNW Bio.

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JETNETTING: THE FIRST IMPRESSION FACTOR: XV - Your Handshake Matters