Breakthrough Networking with Lillian Bjorseth
Much has been written and said about ways to work a room. That’s only one-third of the process … if you want to be a master in-person networker. Those who remember the glory days of the Chicago Bulls recall it wasn’t just how they “worked the floor” that won them six championships. It was their attitude and preparation that enabled them to play like champions, and their follow through on and off the court that kept them at the top for so long.
The same principles apply to relationship building. There are specific things you need to do before an event, keep in mind as you work it and as you follow up. Ignoring them can lead to half-baked or even no results for the time you invest.
Before the Event
- DISCover Your Relationship-building Strengths/Limitations.
Good relationship-building results begin with a thorough knowledge of you. What are you hot buttons? In what situations are you naturally comfortable/uncomfortable? Use a behavioral tool such as DISC to analyze yourself in the networking arena. Learn to read others so you can adapt and flex and quickly make them feel comfortable. If you are naturally confident and have a powerful stance, handshake and eye contact, ease up a little, lest you overwhelm others. Curb your natural enthusiasm and desire to do almost all the talking. You’ll benefit more from listening more. Introspective networker? Push your comfort level, and talk with three or four people, rather than just one who makes you feel safe. And, for those with a careful style, be less stoic. People may think you are aloof, don’t care and don’t want to be bothered with small talk and, therefore, relationship building in general.
- Polish What You Say Before You Speak.
While there are 86,400 seconds in a day, it takes 10 or less for others to form an impression of you. It is based on your image, a combination of your appearance and behavior. Every color you wear sends messages. Decide what you want them to be. Authority, responsibility and knowledge? Wear navy blue. Dependable, practical, stable? Brown. Powerful, dignified, sophisticated? Black. And so on for every color. Body language is another key element that “speaks” before you talk. Your walk, posture, handshake, eye contact, facial expressions and use of time and space say volumes about you.
- Create a Relationship-building Plan
To ensure that you achieve maximum results, you need a plan – in writing! Define what you do uniquely, the benefits of working with you, your target market and how and where to reach them. The time you spend planning will provide innumerable dividends as you put it into reality.
- Craft an effective Verbal Business Card (VBC).
Think of your VBC as the 10-15 second front end of your elevator pitch. Make these introductory, benefit-laden words intrigue people while informing them. People are most interested in how what you do affects or helps them. Make sure to include active verbs, the most powerful words in the English language. Elicit the question, “How do you do that?” That’s when you can launch into all the things you are itching to say.
At the Event
Now it’s time to put your preparation to the test! Arrive early. This allows you to meet key people, and gives you an opportunity to choose the right seat, get the best exposure for your materials if there is a networking table, meet others in a less frenzied atmosphere, relax and adjust in the moment … and eat! Since it is impolite to speak while eating and you want your hands free, don’t walk around with a plate in one hand and a beverage in the other.
Think of attendees as guests in your home. Approach people rather than waiting to be approached. Events will appear warmer and friendlier and you will make others feel more comfortable.
My 10-Minute Rule for Working a Room breaks down into an introduction, body and conclusion. The introduction is for small talk and possible business card exchange. The goal of the body is to find a commonality. Have your “ask-for” questions prepared so that you can determine quickly if you wish to pursue building a relationship. Equally important are your “listen-for” answers, again, so you can determine if you wish to move to another level. The conclusion ends the interaction, and for some it is as hard as starting a conservation. Plan endings just as you plan initial words.
After the Event
You will immediately stand out if you do what you promised. It separates those with integrity from those who merely say they will do something. Develop an effective way to store information and then follow up with the method that best fits the other person’s needs. Know whether it’s texting, email, telephone, lunch, an ezine, an invitation to an event or the most personal of all – a handwritten note. Gauge the right amount of time to wait between contacts and how often to pursue others.
Most importantly, follow the Platinum Rule. Treat others as they want to be treated. It is up to you to adapt and flex to each person and situation.
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