CONNECTING IS NOT ENOUGH: Busting the Myth

Connecting Is Not Enough with Andy Lopata

It’s time to shatter a few illusions now. I’m sorry but networking groups do not produce referrals.

That may disappoint a few people who have spent a lot of time and money joining groups in the hope of generating new business. Hours spent at breakfast meetings, lunches and chatting over canapés when you could have been watching The Apprentice…..all wasted.

Before you panic and start cancelling all of your memberships, bear with me. I didn’t say it’s all a waste of time!

The myth is that new business comes directly from networking groups. Because of that myth, it is common practice to join a group, turn up for a while and then question why you have seen no results. The fact that many miss is that networking groups are merely the starting point; most of the business done and most of the relationships built are based on understanding developed outside of the meetings.

This fact stands whether you are looking at an online networking group or one where the members meet face to face. In both cases you still need to develop strong relationships with fellow members and that means spending some quality time with them.

I write and speak a lot about the importance of the depth of relationships developed through networking. Yes, it is important to build a wide and diverse network, but the real power comes from people who know, like and trust you. That’s when people will go out of their way to support you, when people will genuinely want to refer you, when people will seek out the appropriate opportunities.

Referrals and support come not from networking groups but from your network. They are two distinct entities. Your network comprises people you have relationships with, whether they are personal contacts or people you know through business. Your network includes your friends and family, social contacts, people you have met because your children go to the same school. It includes clients, suppliers, business associates and people you have met at networking groups.

Depending on the strength of your relationship, it is these people who want to support you the most, and networking groups are simply a way of feeding that network.

If you can focus on this, you can approach your membership of networking groups in a different way. Instead of looking for one off ‘hits’, people who you immediately see an opportunity to work with or sell to, find people who you’d like to get to know better. Spend time talking with them, meeting outside of the network and developing a real friendship. Through doing so, you will soon count them as a key part of your network, rather than simply being members of the same group.



For someone to refer you effectively, two key elements need to be in place. They need to both trust you enough to effectively put their reputation on the line every time they introduce you to one of their contacts, and they need to understand your business in enough depth to be able to recognise and convert opportunities to refer you.

The limitation with relying on networking groups, or online networks for that matter, is the number of people present. Unless you are in a small Mastermind-style group, there is little opportunity to have in-depth conversations with fellow members and get to know them better. This makes it very difficult to build anything other than a superficial relationship and unlikely that you will develop the levels of trust and understanding that enable mutual referrals and support.

It’s no surprise, therefore, that people who focus their networking purely within the meetings struggle to achieve the potential from their membership. If you take a typical BNI-style meeting for example, if there are 40 members up to one hour of a meeting will typically be taken up with presentations. There are opportunities for brief conversations before and over breakfast.

Yet there are always members who leave the meeting as soon as the formal section has finished. Typically, they then won’t be seen again until the following week.

It’s not much different at larger and less frequent events such as Chambers of Commerce. Many people spend time looking to meet as many new people as possible, collecting business cards. Conversations are fleeting, handshakes rushed and elevator pitches exchanged. They then move onto their next contact.

The only way those connections can work is if you develop them over time. That means taking time out of meetings to have better conversations. I often use that time initially just to get to know each other socially. After all, you want people you like and have something in common with in your network. Over time you can then find out more about each other’s business, the challenges you face and the introductions you seek.

Networking groups often impress on their members the need to have regular 1-2-1 meetings with each other away from their events. It’s not enough just to meet once and tick that person off your list, remember that you are looking to develop a relationship and that means regular conversations and staying in touch. It doesn’t just have to be two of you, meet in small groups socially as well.

Twitter and LinkedIn users are now holding regular ‘Meet Ups’ (or ‘Tweetups for Twitter fans!) so that they can meet face to face. In the UK, Ecademy have been doing this for years.

You will struggle to achieve anything near the potential from your networking if you focus your efforts purely on the events or forums provided by the organisation. Identify people who can justify a place within your network and build the relationship with them.

Networking groups don’t provide referrals. They can, however, introduce you to the people who, over time, will.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Are you struggling to put an effective networking or referral strategy into place? Do you want to know more about how to ensure you get the maximum possible return from your networking?
Andy's new Audio programme 'Networking in Ninety Minutes' will give you the tools you need to make the most from your networking. Available in CD or mp3 format here.
Andy Lopata's newsletter archive
Andy Lopata's LinkedIn profile
Join Connecting is not Enough - Andy Lopata's Facebook Page


For more information, please visit Andy's TNNW Bio.



Published by THE NATIONAL NETWORKER Newsletter. All rights reserved. Subscribe Free - Click HERE.
The National Networker Companies
Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

CONNECTING IS NOT ENOUGH: Busting the Myth

CONNECTING IS NOT ENOUGH: The Top Ten Ways to Ensure Your Networks are More Effective and Produce Results

Connecting is Not Enough with Andy Lopata

Last month I wrote in my blog about a friend of mine who struggles to get any return from his networking despite always being generous with his time, his contacts and his support.

I got a lot of feedback on the piece, with many people either recognizing themselves, or people they know well, in the description of my friend.

So why do so many people struggle to attain a real return from their networking? There are a host of possible reasons but I thought this might be a good time to share some ways in which you can get more of a return from your networking.


ONE
Take a long-term view

When I was MD of Business Referral Exchange someone came to us wanting to open a group in his local area. At the time we insisted that a group needed fifteen members to start meeting. It took him time to recruit and when he had eight he came to us to beg to be able to open the group.

“I need business NOW”, he said.

My advice was to pick up the phone and cold call. If you need an immediate return, networking is not the tool for you. Networks are built over time, trust is a key factor in people recommending and referring you, and it does not appear over night. Patience is a key factor, as is a long-term view.

Long-termism in networking also allows you to think on a grander scale. As you develop and build your network, investing into the ‘emotional bank account’, you are creating a stronger bank of support to withdraw from when you need to. If you take from the very beginning, people will soon stop networking with you.


TWO
Define success

Are you clear in your mind what success looks like from your networking?

It is vital that you understand exactly what new business you want to generate, which introductions you need, what support you are looking for. Once you are completely focused on this in your mind, you will find it much easier to determine which events you should attend, recognise opportunities when they come along and to clearly communicate to others how they can help you.


THREE
Hone your message

If you’re not getting support and referrals from people in your network, stop blaming them and look at yourself.

How well are you expressing yourself? How easy do you make it for people to support you?

We all lead very busy lives. As much as we want to support those closest to us, the harder it is to do so, the more likely we will move on and do other things. Make it simple for people. Communicate the support you need, be very specific and, above anything else, when someone is in a position to help you, ask them. Don’t simply assume that they will recognise the opportunity to help you if you don’t point it out.

Of course, this step only works if you have built the relationship with them first and they want to help you.



FOUR
Stay with it

A short-term view in networking unfortunately leads to people writing off various groups and networking sites before giving them a chance to produce a return. Although things are improving, there are still people who attend groups seeking a set number of leads, rather than treating each event as a step in the right direction. As a result, they end up visiting lots of different meetings, collecting bundles of business cards and never building relationships.

If you have taken the advice above and set longer term objectives, you can join the right networks to take you there, with a clear idea of the commitment needed from you to achieve those goals. It is rare that a network will produce to its full potential in the first few months of membership.



FIVE
Engage, don’t broadcast

The growth of sites like Twitter has shown both the best and worst of networking. At its worst, there are people who use sites like this to simply broadcast their message, without listening.

Just as with event sponsors who expect people to buy from them just because they have a stand and a couple of minutes to plug their product at an event, they will be disappointed when the results aren’t quite what they had hoped for.

Networks have moved us towards a society where communication is two-way rather than one. Companies have to listen to their customers now, rather than just sell to them. Similarly, we need to engage with people in our networks, listen to them and join in conversations.

As people find out more about us and as we help them more, they then let us know when they are ready to listen to us and possibly buy from us or pass our message onto our target market.


SIX
Give and take

‘Givers Gain’ is the mantra of members of Business Network International (BNI) and both sides of that equation are equally important.

Thanks to BNI’s motto, it is now commonly recognised that you need to give to your network before you can expect to receive. And those gifts you offer should be without expectation of return; networks don’t always deliver your reward from the same direction in which you gave.

Where many networkers fall down however, is in being ready to take in return. We can be in so much danger of not being seen to ‘hunt’ that we are frightened to ask for help when people are ready and willing to offer it.

Know who wants to support you in your network and understand how they can. Then help them to do so and accept their help without guilt.


SEVEN
A wider perspective

The power of networks lies not in the people in our immediate vicinity but in those they know. And that power is exponential. If we have a strong relationship with 150 people, who each know 150 people well, that means we are within one strong introduction of 22,500 people.

Yet so many people can’t see beyond the person in front of them. They go to events and target ‘low hanging fruit’, talking about products in the lower range of their offering because they think those are more relevant to the attendees at those events, or turning down invitations because they won’t meet prospective clients.

Build relationships with people you get on with and don’t ever worry about selling to them. Instead, develop their trust and they will introduce you to the people they know.

If they are ever in a position to buy from you themselves, if you have developed the right levels of trust and understanding they will do so. In the meantime, they could be referring you to a number of their contacts, which could be a lot more valuable to your business.


EIGHT
Everyone’s an individual

Just because you have built your network to large numbers, it doesn’t mean that they will all act in the same way and respond to the same requests.

I received some national press coverage last year because someone in my network asked how he could help me. Instead of reeling off a list of prospects I’d like to meet, I mentioned that I’d like to build my media coverage. Why? Because he was the former executive editor of a national newspaper. I knew he would be comfortable referring me to someone else from the media.

Get to know your network as individuals. Offer support based on their specific needs; ask for support based on their individual ability to help or their circle of influence.


NINE
It’s not about YOU

“I want to talk to xxx because we want to work with that sector more”.

I have heard so many requests for introductions over the years which focus on why the person wants the introduction, not on the value they offer to the person they are asking to be introduced to. Remember the all important words, ‘What’s in it for them?’

When someone agrees to introduce you, they are going to enter into a conversation where you are not present. They need to be able to answer the questions that they will face confidently and leave the other person interested in speaking to you and eagerly waiting for your call. That means that they see your relevance to them, how you are going to solve their problem.

Focus on communicating that relevance effectively and people will find it so much easier to refer you.



TEN
Take risks

‘You can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs’, as the old saying goes. If you are going to maximize your return from networking, you are going to have to get out of your comfort zone and take some risks.

These include:

- Approaching people you don’t know at networking events
- Risking losing referrals by being specific, rather than covering everything when explaining what you do
- Passing up a quick sale to build a long-term relationship
- Using social networks occasionally to tell people about your successes or ask for help

Whatever the risk may be, look at what you want to achieve and ask yourself a simple question.

Which approach is going to take you closer to your goal?
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Are you struggling to put an effective networking or referral strategy into place? Do you want to know more about how to ensure you get the maximum possible return from your networking?
Andy's new Audio programme 'Networking in Ninety Minutes' will give you the tools you need to make the most from your networking. Available in CD or mp3 format here.
Andy Lopata's newsletter archive
Andy Lopata's LinkedIn profile
Join Connecting is not Enough - Andy Lopata's Facebook Page


For more information, please visit Andy's TNNW Bio.


Published by THE NATIONAL NETWORKER Newsletter. All rights reserved. Subscribe Free - Click HERE.


The National Networker Companies
Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

CONNECTING IS NOT ENOUGH: The Top Ten Ways to Ensure Your Networks are More Effective and Produce Results

The X-Factor: Networking The Gen-X Way

By Maria Elena Duron
Multi-Cultural Networking Editor

If you ask someone to define the word “network”, you might get different answers depending on who you’re asking. In 2004, the American Institute of Architects (AIA) held a conference about Generational Learning Styles and in their Generation Gap Game, this question was asked. If you were talking to a Traditionalist, he/she might say that a network is something that a fisherman does. A Baby Boomer, on the other hand, might think that you are referring to a TV station. A Gen X-er would probably tell you that a network is the act of establishing a circle of business contacts. And finally, a Millenial is likely to tell you that a network is a work or home-based interface system which allows multiple users at different computers to link in order to share data. And that’s just one word with four different meanings for four different generations. Today, with the existence of so many social networking sites, I can only help but wonder whether Generation X had something to do with this kind of networking.

So, how does a Gen X-er build a network? I tried to make a research on this by reading books, browsing the web, the works. But I was not able to find a single article defining how Gen X-ers build relationships. However, if given a closer look, their characteristics and values define how they do this thing called networking.

Gen X: The Original Internet Babies. If you think that the Millenials are the real internet kids, think again. The first users of the internet are actually the members of Generation X. The X-ers were among the first to communicate with friends and colleagues via email. In a study conducted by the Pew Internet and American Life Project, it was found that about 87% of Gen X-ers use the internet for various activities like communicating via email and instant messenger, purchasing things, job hunting, as well as getting news.

The Latch-key Kids Who Didn’t Want To Become Like Their Parents. This generation was also known as the “latch-key” generation since most of their Baby Boomer parents were busy at work. The latch-key kids are now parents and didn’t want their own children to experience the same treatment they received from their parents. As a result, most Gen X parents are very hands on when it comes to their own kids: attending PTAs, recitals, field trips, and other school activities. Through these events, they are able to build network with the teachers and their co-parents.

X-ers like to have some fun at work. The members of generation X love social events. That’s why when there are parties and other company events; you can expect that they will be there to join the fun. Aside from the fact that these events help boost their morale and cultivate team spirit, it is also an opportunity for them to mingle with their colleagues, bosses, as well as clients. Aside from social events, they also work more smoothly with peers than with their bosses. Thus, there are more and more X-ers who volunteer as mentor among their peers.

Gen X wants work-life balance. As opposed to the myth that Gen X-ers are slackers, these people actually think that their career is important. But when it comes to family, X-ers are likely to prioritize their family over work. "Members of Generation X appear to place a much higher priority on personal and family-related goals than on their career goals, "says Dr. Paulette Gerkovich, Chair of the Catalyst Award Committee from Boston College and an expert on glass ceiling issues. In her study about Generation X and their work-life values, it was found that, "84% of the respondents stated that it was extremely important to them to have a loving family, 72% indicated that it was extremely important to have a relationship with a significant other, while 79% responded that it was extremely important to enjoy life." Aside from their families, Gen X-ers tend to have very strong peer relationships. This may be due to the fact that they were once latch-key kids and that there was a spike in the number of divorced parents, friends became increasingly important so it’s no wonder they value their personal relationships over their careers.

Great network, so what? Building relationships doesn’t just stop there. The members of Generation X actually use their network for so many reasons. It may be as simple as finding a great tutor for their kids or getting a new job. This generation proved that a network isn’t just about a computer network, or a fish net, or a TV station; more importantly a network is also about relationships. Just like what a Gen X friend would always say, “At the end of the day, all that matters are your relationships.” Good point.

________________________________________________________

Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER. To subscribe for your free newletter, go to www.TheNationalNetworker.com. For the complete National Networker Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free RSS feed, go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com.
Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

The X-Factor: Networking The Gen-X Way