MASTERING THE MEMBERSHIP MAZE: Getting Out of Conversations

Mastering the Membership Maze
with Glen Gould

Talk about uncomfortable. Not long ago I was at a networking event and found myself in one of those conversations I wanted out of! You know what I mean, you meet someone and you immediately know that you have nothing in common; all you want to do is move on. But how? What should you do when you find yourself in a conversation you want out of?

After years of experience I can tell you some of the things that don't work.

Don't let your eyes wander away from your conversation partner – you'll get caught by the person you're supposed to be talking to – how embarrassing!

Don't make up a lame excuse – you'll likely say something silly like "I've got to go to the bathroom." Really? This is like asking permission in grade school.

Don't say you're looking for someone else – you might as well say, "hey, you're not very important and I'm looking for someone who is." Ouch!

And of course there's the classic "dump off". You know, you want out of the conversation so you introduce the person to anyone nearby. Would you want that to happen to you?

Of course there are hundreds of other faux pas, but only one correct way. It's incredibly simple yet so rarely used. Here's the script:

"It was nice meeting you." If you've met them before, "It was nice seeing you again." That's it. Shake hands and walk away. Simple right? So why don't we use this technique?

We mistakenly assume we owe others an explanation for our actions. While there are times when this is true, we owe no one an explanation for our style of mingling at a networking event. It comes from our desire to be liked, to be treated fairly, and to please others. We think we owe the person we've meet enough attention to make them feel validated.

But staying in a conversation with another just because we think we should doesn't help anyone. It actually hurts. If you tie someone up in a meaningless conversation they loose the opportunity to engage in a conversation of meaning with someone else.

Just walk away. Say, "It was nice seeing you." It works every time. But beware of your desire to let someone down gently. Don't add anything to the script. You'll be tempted to say, "Maybe we can get together sometime." That just adds expectations that you aren't wanting. Keep it simple. "It was nice meeting you."

An engaging platform speaker and author of four books, Glen Gould is a business growth and relationship specialist who understands business people and how they connect. He helps entrepreneurs and entrepreneurial-minded organizations leverage relationships to

create amazing results.

Glen Gould has worked with Fortune 500 corporations including Allstate, Walmart, Target, Kroger, Kmart, Albertsons, and Publix as well as thousands of small and mid- sized firms. Additionally, Glen works with chambers of commerce and associations throughout the world to help them grow and retain their membership.

Glen Gould

glen@inspirationagents.com

770-435-0781

www.InspirationAgents.com
Inspiring Positive Change

www.IsYourNetworkingWorking.com
Powerful Networking Tools

www.AtlantaCommunityBreakfast.com

Bringing business people together to discuss faith and values in the workplace

For more information, please visit Glen's TNNW Bio.

Published by THE NATIONAL NETWORKER Newsletter. All rights reserved. Subscribe Free - Click HERE.

The National Networker Companies
Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

MASTERING THE MEMBERSHIP MAZE: Getting Out of Conversations

Obama and the Art Of the Quiet Consensus

By Douglas Castle
Political Editor

President-elect Barack Obama is inheriting some tremendous problems from his predecessor administration, some of which include a ravaged, volatile, but macroscopically slumping economy (built upon a foundation of excessive leverage, fiscal gambling, dis-saving, and systemic and encouraged inefficiencies), and a severely diminished view of the United States in the eyes of the G-8 nations and all of our sovereign counterparts, many of whom we have routinely bullied or ignored during the past eight years.

Mr. Obama appears to be a reasonably intelligent and thoughtful man, who carries the torch of leadership but understands the need for the special quiet brands of networking skill which require pre-emptive salesmanship and reaching quiet consensus prior to coming out with policies or political pronouncements. An integral part of networking requires that we be cognizant of the egos, opinions, vested interests and positions of others -- if we simply choose the traditional one-sided approach of preaching and selling, we will fail to develop vitally-important relationships through our networking efforts. A quiet consensus is a means of 1) obtaining market-research intelligence, and 2) personalizing and strengthening our relationships.

In selecting his cabinet members and executive-level appointees, Mr. Obama is not taking the risk of alienating the many Washington "regulars" whose cooperation and support he will need in order to accomplish positive things during the term of his presidency. He and his representatives are going to many key network contacts (each of whom is a part of the Washington governance machinery, and each of them who is an individual) and doing some psychological networking magic:

• He is asking for their opinions on important issues, and giving them credit and gratitude for their responses;


• He is giving them "ownership" in endorsing any personnel decisions;


• He is giving them the gift of inclusion;


• He is setting a precedent of asking what others think, and in taking their opinions and comments into consideration (very much the opposite of what George W. Bush had done while waving a U.S. flag as he drove a bulldozer over any opposition "noise");


• He is converting contacts into bilateral, functional relationships, by humanizing and humbling himself in front of these largely egocentric characters who line the Washington, D.C. Landscape.

I suspect that he is becoming increasingly popular with a great many people who were his party-bound political opponents or doubters previously. I also suspect that he has a subscription to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER -- if not, he is looking over a constituent's shoulder who happens to have a free subscription. After all, every intelligent political or business aspirant should have a subscription.

Mr. Obama networked his way into the presidency...and now he is converting strangers into friends. He is converting liabilities and inert parties into assets through personal alchemy. Many had underestimated this proponent of change. I was one of them.

Let's watch Mr. Obama and see what we can learn, politics notwithstanding.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle
________________________________________________________
Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER. To subscribe for your free newletter, go to http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/. For the complete National Networker Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free RSS feed, go to: http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/.

Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

Obama and the Art Of the Quiet Consensus

Social Capital is Not a Fixed Investment

from J. LeRoy's Evolving Web
Jim Benson's Cooperation Conversations

Do you hate someone who likes you? Have you felt snubbed or insulted by someone you trusted? Has someone who is an utter bastard made you feel bad or self-conscious by saying cruel things?

Or

Have you met someone and really gotten along quickly? Have you taken a previously contentious relationship and made it work well? Has a kind word from a stranger made the whole day seem better?

A lot of this may be due to Social Capital.
Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

Social Capital is Not a Fixed Investment