Where to Draw The Line - Setting Healthy Boundaries With Referral Partners | BNI

I'm always curious why I tend to let some things go, and other things attract my attention and sometimes my ire. Mostly I think it is because I am so eager to begin the "getting-to-know-you" process with my referral partners that I sometimes skip over the part where we lay the foundation of setting healthy boundaries and expectations in the beginning.

This can cause some unintentional problems down the line.... it's kind of like passing a referral in BNI before you've been trained what a good referral actually is - there can be misunderstandings and even hurt feelings in the process. BNI Executive Director Frank DeRaffele discusses this in his Audio CD Presentation - "A Lead is Not a Referral." It is important that our BNI members understand what the difference is between a lead and a referral, and that in BNI we do not pass Leads, in fact, they are considered a derogatory 4-letter word!

The confusing part of this is that for some people in BNI, leads are perfectly acceptable. If Mary the Realtor says that a great referral for her is a For Sale By Owner and she is willing to accept a lead vs. a referral, that is supposed to be ok - FOR MARY, not for everyone.

The same goes for keeping your word to your referral partners - do what you say you will do, how you said you would do it, and when you said you would do it. We find this in the BNI Code of Ethics. (See http://www.bnidvr.com/cgi-bin/viewnlcontent.cgi?nlarticle_id=16).

So why all the fuss? Why are boundaries so important? What's the big deal, really? The big deal is that I extend to you in good faith my high regard. That you are a person of good character. That you are an ethical professional. That you respect me, my time, and my reputation. Aha! But how are you supposed to know this unless I communicate it to you? Exactly. Taking the time to educate my referral partners on boundaries and expectations in the beginning is important ground work for a successful and harmonious referral partnership.

One of the ways I accomplish this is by sharing my adaptation of Dr. Misner's 10 Commandments of Networking. (See http://networking.entrepreneur.com/2009/02/24/the-10-commandments-of-business-networking/). It really spells out what healthy boundaries in a referral partnership are for me - they may not work for everyone, but it is a jump start in the right direction for new or prospective BNI members.


Melinda Potcher wants you to know that as a child, she dreamt of growing up to become either a CPA or a covert ops spy, and that as The Mortgage Maven she is actually a little bit of both! You can follow Potcher on her facebook fan page; "Musings of a Mortgage Maven".

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BNI
With over 5,500 active chapters, and over 100,000 members throughout every populated continent worldwide, BNI is the largest and most successful business referral organization in the world. BNI was founded in 1985 by Dr. Ivan Misner and the organization, which allows only one person from each profession to join a chapter, offers members the opportunity to share ideas, contacts, and most importantly, referrals. Last year alone, members of BNI passed 6.2 million referrals, generating 2.6 billion dollars’ worth of business.

For more information on BNI, please visit http://www.bni.com/ or call BNI Headquarters at 909.608.7575.

Links:
~ BNI Store - http://store.bni.com/
~ Blog - http://www.networkingnowblog.com/
~ BNI SuccessNet Newsletter - http://www.bnisuccessnet.com/
~ BNI Twitter page - http://twitter.com/BNI_Official_Pg
~ BNI Facebook page - http://www.facebook.com/BNIOfficialPage
~ NetworkingNow - http://www.networkingnow.com/

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Where to Draw The Line - Setting Healthy Boundaries With Referral Partners | BNI

BNI: Choose Your Words Carefully

Something I am learning through the ever increasing use of technology, i.e.; email, is to choose my words carefully when communicating with someone, and to be mindful of the possibility that what I say could be taken the wrong way or come across in a tone other than what I intended the recipient to interpret.

Most business professionals I know and trust as my referral partners would say this could never happen with me – that I am positive and upbeat and hold them in high regard, but truth be told, I do get snared in a miscommunication from time to time.

To choose the words; “I won’t allow so and so to do this or that until I speak with you first” can be misinterpreted to mean I somehow have control over another person and their actions, or that their intention is less than honorable.

Not saying enough or being unclear with your communication can also leave room for misinterpretation by the receiver – such as; “I am unable to attend your BNI Chapter presently, but please keep my application on file and stay in touch.” What does that mean? Why can’t the person attend? Did something come up that has caused them to believe that they wouldn’t be welcomed back to the group, such as an unplanned absence or a financial concern? You can see that there is a lot of room for the receiver to “make stuff up” in their mind as to what the concern might be because the sender did not provide sufficient information to convey a clear understanding. I am retraining my brain to stop at the point I become unclear as to the sender’s message, before I make a mistake of misinterpreting the message.

What I have chosen to focus on with my own communication via email is to be succinct without leaving room for misunderstandings. An example might be; “I have a concern I’d like to discuss with you. Are you available for me to give you a call today at either 3pm or 4pm so that we could talk?” Taking the possibility that my communication might be misunderstood, I choose the route of phone to phone conversation. This can still be a mine-field, depending on your tone of voice and speech patterns. If you are rushed, stressed, or dealing with some other concern at the same time you are having an important phone conversation, the person on the other end of the line may misunderstand and think you are being short with them or that you are somehow displeased with them, when that in fact may be untrue.

I treasure the business connections and referral relationships I have nurtured. The last thing I want to do is contribute to a rift due to something I may have said or intoned. Final question – have you also experienced communication problems via email and phone? I’d appreciate your feedback as well as tips you use to successfully communicate your messages.

Melinda Potcher is known as the “Mortgage Maven” in beautiful Albuquerque, New Mexico where she has resided and provided residential mortgage financing for the past 13 years. You can reach her via email at Melindapotchermortgagemaven@gmail.com or on facebook and twitter @MelindaPotcher.

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BNI
With over 5,500 active chapters, and over 100,000 members throughout every populated continent worldwide, BNI is the largest and most successful business referral organization in the world. BNI was founded in 1985 by Dr. Ivan Misner and the organization, which allows only one person from each profession to join a chapter, offers members the opportunity to share ideas, contacts, and most importantly, referrals. Last year alone, members of BNI passed 6.2 million referrals, generating 2.6 billion dollars’ worth of business.

For more information on BNI, please visit http://www.bni.com/ or call BNI Headquarters at 909.608.7575.

Links:
~ BNI Store - http://store.bni.com/
~ Blog - http://www.networkingnowblog.com/
~ BNI SuccessNet Newsletter - http://www.bnisuccessnet.com/
~ BNI Twitter page - http://twitter.com/BNI_Official_Pg
~ BNI Facebook page - http://www.facebook.com/BNIOfficialPage
~ NetworkingNow - http://www.networkingnow.com/

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The National Networker Publications™ produced by TNNWC Group, LLC
Resources for Business Planning, Development, Capital and Growth

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BNI: Choose Your Words Carefully

BNI: The Power of an Effective Team

I like autonomy, but I also value community. How effective is your "Power Team"? Does sleep elude you because you are worried about the current state of affairs within your working relationships, or do you stay awake from sheer excitement for tomorrow?

I never knew how good it could be! I'd always worked in conjunction with other business professionals because of my industry - real estate. But I was usually the last one to come on board, and often felt quite removed because I was sitting behind a desk in an office while everyone else was "out in the field".

That all began to change after I joined BNI (Business Network Int'l) five years ago. Suddenly I wasn't on the outside looking in, I was in the game, and it was fun! I guess the difference was the power of an effective team. When one person in the chapter has a client who needs Real Estate Services, they may start out working with me, the Mortgage Broker, then I will refer them to the Realtor, and she will refer them to the Pest Inspector or the Handyman who then refers them to the Insurance Agent, and so on.

It is a positive, energizing, motivating and satisfying way of working for me. It keeps me up at night sometimes; my head gets so filled with great ideas on how to create more for my Power Team and how to take that concept of teamwork outside the walls of BNI and apply it to the other transaction teams I work with. See, that's the thing about BNI - you get a lot of personal and professional growth mastery that can apply outside the chapter as well as within.

I most recently had the opportunity to begin a new working relationship with a Realtor and her "Team". She is not in BNI. However, I could tell when we met that she resonates with it's core philosophy, "Givers Gain". She sent me a couple of her clients yesterday, and after taking their application, I followed up with her. She called me back last night and we begin a free exchange of ideas and energy and brainstorming about upcoming clients, past business relationships that ended badly and why, and planning for the future. She shared with me about the members on her "Team" and how long she had worked with them, their strengths, their "hot button issues" and communication styles.

I find that when I work in the presence of "We" and not just "Me" I am really on my game, which also strikes me as humorous given my desire to be self-employed.


Melinda Potcher wants you to know that as a child, she dreamt of growing up to become either a CPA or a covert ops spy, and that as The Mortgage Maven she is actually a little bit of both! You can follow Potcher on her Facebook fan page; "Musings of a Mortgage Maven".

---

BNI
With over 5,500 active chapters, and over 100,000 members throughout every populated continent worldwide, BNI is the largest and most successful business referral organization in the world. BNI was founded in 1985 by Dr. Ivan Misner and the organization, which allows only one person from each profession to join a chapter, offers members the opportunity to share ideas, contacts, and most importantly, referrals. Last year alone, members of BNI passed 6.2 million referrals, generating 2.6 billion dollars’ worth of business.

For more information on BNI, please visit http://www.bni.com/ or call BNI Headquarters at 909.608.7575.

Links:
~ BNI Store - http://store.bni.com/
~ Blog - http://www.networkingnowblog.com/
~ BNI SuccessNet Newsletter - http://www.bnisuccessnet.com/
~ BNI Twitter page - http://twitter.com/BNI_Official_Pg
~ BNI Facebook page - http://www.facebook.com/BNIOfficialPage
~ NetworkingNow - http://www.networkingnow.com/

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Capital, Traffic Building, International Customers and unique SERVICES.
The National Networker Publications™ produced by TNNWC Group, LLC
Resources for Business Planning, Development, Capital and Growth

Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

BNI: The Power of an Effective Team