Something I am learning through the ever increasing use of technology, i.e.; email, is to choose my words carefully when communicating with someone, and to be mindful of the possibility that what I say could be taken the wrong way or come across in a tone other than what I intended the recipient to interpret.
Most business professionals I know and trust as my referral partners would say this could never happen with me – that I am positive and upbeat and hold them in high regard, but truth be told, I do get snared in a miscommunication from time to time.
To choose the words; “I won’t allow so and so to do this or that until I speak with you first” can be misinterpreted to mean I somehow have control over another person and their actions, or that their intention is less than honorable.
Not saying enough or being unclear with your communication can also leave room for misinterpretation by the receiver – such as; “I am unable to attend your BNI Chapter presently, but please keep my application on file and stay in touch.” What does that mean? Why can’t the person attend? Did something come up that has caused them to believe that they wouldn’t be welcomed back to the group, such as an unplanned absence or a financial concern? You can see that there is a lot of room for the receiver to “make stuff up” in their mind as to what the concern might be because the sender did not provide sufficient information to convey a clear understanding. I am retraining my brain to stop at the point I become unclear as to the sender’s message, before I make a mistake of misinterpreting the message.
What I have chosen to focus on with my own communication via email is to be succinct without leaving room for misunderstandings. An example might be; “I have a concern I’d like to discuss with you. Are you available for me to give you a call today at either 3pm or 4pm so that we could talk?” Taking the possibility that my communication might be misunderstood, I choose the route of phone to phone conversation. This can still be a mine-field, depending on your tone of voice and speech patterns. If you are rushed, stressed, or dealing with some other concern at the same time you are having an important phone conversation, the person on the other end of the line may misunderstand and think you are being short with them or that you are somehow displeased with them, when that in fact may be untrue.
I treasure the business connections and referral relationships I have nurtured. The last thing I want to do is contribute to a rift due to something I may have said or intoned. Final question – have you also experienced communication problems via email and phone? I’d appreciate your feedback as well as tips you use to successfully communicate your messages.
Melinda Potcher is known as the “Mortgage Maven” in beautiful Albuquerque, New Mexico where she has resided and provided residential mortgage financing for the past 13 years. You can reach her via email at Melindapotchermortgagemaven@gmail.com or on facebook and twitter @MelindaPotcher.
BNI
With over 5,500 active chapters, and over 100,000 members throughout every populated continent worldwide, BNI is the largest and most successful business referral organization in the world. BNI was founded in 1985 by Dr. Ivan Misner and the organization, which allows only one person from each profession to join a chapter, offers members the opportunity to share ideas, contacts, and most importantly, referrals. Last year alone, members of BNI passed 6.2 million referrals, generating 2.6 billion dollars’ worth of business.
For more information on BNI, please visit http://www.bni.com/ or call BNI Headquarters at 909.608.7575.
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