JETNETTING: The First Impression Factor XX: The Power of Pause

JetNetting with Heshie Segal

Life is hectic. It is full. Something is going on, all the time (well, almost all the time). Think about your life. Aren’t there times you just want to scream? “Stop, no more. I’ve had enough!”

• Work. Work. Work. All I do is work. I need a break.


• No more rain. Enough already! Stop! It’s time for a break.


• All you do is chatter. Please take a break and be silent.


• Traffic, cleaning up, filing, shopping, return calls, appointments, dance lessons, lessons of every other sort, etc. etc. etc. They say, “Life’s a b - - ch!”

STOP!! Yes, this “stuff” surrounds us everyday. We are bombarded with never ending activity. And if there is no break, we break... or, become less effective. We need time to reflect, to change the pace, to intervene, to be silent; inside and out, even just for a moment... to become re-invigorated. And so, the lesson extends to each of us, you and me, and all the rest. We must learn to pause, for the sake of all.When dealing with first impressions we have to reflect on the fact, and as if the activity were not enough, we have those verbose speakers who do not know when to stop. We need to let them know about the pause, the silence between the words to reinforce

an early connectedness. They must master the art of silence so they may understand their power, the power in the pause, when used to its best effect.

Strategically planned, it is the appropriate gap before or after an emotion, punctuation, change of subject, emphasis. Its power can be eloquent... and it can be devastatingly awkward if it is not in sync with the intention. Effective use of the pause generally means ‘less is more’, especially when more is too much.

If you are going to use the pause as a powerful strategic element, you will find these 6 tips to be most useful.

1. PAUSE TO BREATHE
Before you even start to speak, pause and take a deep breath. This will give you a lower and calmer voice. If you do not pause (and continue breathing deeply) while you are speaking, air will be blocked from flowing back in and your voice will become thin, high pitched and quite unpleasant. (Test it. Take a deep breath. Speak until you run out of air and force yourself to say a few more words. Do this right now. See how it changes the quality of your voice, not to mention the discomfort it can cause?)

And, if you do not pause to breathe, you will cause your listeners to feel you are rushing to get through, or that your words have no real importance and you have succumbed to chatter.

2. PAUSE FOR EMPHASIS AND/OR ATTENTION.
Use pauses either before or after, or both before and after important words, points, thoughts or concepts. Use an extended pause to emphasize or dramatize your main point or to convey the enormity of a powerful thought or statement. This tells your audience you are going to say something significant and they should listen. By pausing again, after your words, you allow the silence to underline what you have just said.

3. PAUSE FOR THOSE WHO ARE LISTENING.
Listeners need a few moments to absorb and contemplate what is being said. Give them time to catch up. If they become distracted with run on thoughts and sentences, they may tune out and never catch up. They really do need time to think in order to understand what comes next.

4. NON-WORDS AND FILLERS
Non-words (“Uh" and "um" ) and other fillers (“like”, “uh”, “you know”, “um”) dilute your phrases and sentences, weaken your communication and therefore your delivery. They make you appear tentative, insecure, and lacking in authority and confidence. STOP.

Become silent... for silence is your friend. Even the norm for this pause, which may be 2 or 3 seconds, may feel like an eternity... especially when under pressure. It is not too long! Time yourself and you will see. Rather than having people count the “um’s” you utter (admit it, you have done this more than once, right?), pause and think about what you really want to say and then say it with conviction.

5. USE TO ALLOW THE LISTENER ENTRY
When you ramble on and on, you are effectively saying to the listener, “You are unimportant, this conversation is all about me.” Ugh; no way to build a relationship or even to create a good first impression.

6.USE THE PAUSE SPARINGLY
Use the pause for effect, when appropriate and necessary. Don’t overwork it. If you use it and it becomes a pattern, the listener will become bored. The pause is most effective when it is unexpected. Be strategic. Use it for emphasis.

Master the art of silence and you will understand your power . . . and the power in the pause.

For more information, please visit Heshie's TNNW Bio.






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JETNETTING: The First Impression Factor XX: The Power of Pause