The Stress of Success with Sifu Cinda Hocking, LMSW We operate within many types of interconnected systems. Our planet is part of a solar system, and the earth is web of diverse living biological systems, social networks, organizations, and internet communities, to name a few. From our largest all-encompassing systems to our smallest personal relationships, there exists a multitude of intersecting and overlapping points.
One of the factors that most influences an individual’s ability to recognize, explore and develop their connections with others is simply what lens they are looking through, what perspective they choose to use in their search.
When we look at something through a microscope we see the details: we may notice how similar the building blocks are that make everything around and within us, but we also are able to see how the smallest differences in these building blocks can drastically alter appearance and functioning. The danger in this perspective is that all our differences can get magnified.
When we look through a telescope, we see the big picture we are all enmeshed in. This viewpoint can make the small differences seem far less important. Our focus may shift from the unique expressions of individual elements to the laws and principles that guide the whole. The danger in this perspective is that important small differences can be overlooked or minimized.
When we look at what is right in front of us through our eyes we see our routine everyday connections in our family, community, and workplace. It is tempting to think this perspective is the most accurate because it is the one we experience most frequently. It is the world as we are accustomed to seeing it. Our activities of daily living are the focus from this perspective. The danger in this perspective is that our vision can get a bit blurred so we only see what we expect to see, and resist anything that doesn’t fit.
Just click on the Logo above for a no-strings TEST DRIVEAll these perspectives provide valuable information, and all create limitations when used alone. When you are creating and cultivating connections with others you need to understand what makes you the same, AND what makes you different. What makes you the same gives you a frame of reference, a common language and, ideally, a bond of shared experience. What makes you different gives you what you can learn from each other, what there is of value you can exchange, and how the relationship can contribute to mutual growth.
Ask yourself if you have been limiting your connections to those who are most similar to you. This group is comfortable and easy to be with, and it feels good to communicate and reflect shared values, ideas, and topics with them. This group is an important support network to have while building your skills, but they will not teach you to communicate with those whose life experience is substantially different.
Look for the links you have with those whose lives are different than yours. These links do exist, and can provide a foundation to build ongoing relationships. However, it is equally important to discover what there is of value to be shared in the differences between you. What do you need to learn from each other and what can you each provide in the relationship? In networking, you need to work to realize where the differences and diversity can be used to build something new, build bridges, and build something mutually beneficial.
Put on your microscope, your telescope and your glasses. They all provide you with information. Used together, they can provide an integrated view that creates amazing relationships.
Cinda Hocking, LMSW
Wellness Counselor and Internal Energy Plus Consultant
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Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER.
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1 comment:
I had heard a marketing guru who thinks we should market to our "tribe". Make sure a potential client will feel comfortable being "just like us".
That may have its positive side.....an income....but unharnessed tribal feelings can also limit us to "our own". Makes more sense to me to travel back and forth to many worlds and keep our senses open to learn and grow. Thanks for your insights.
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