Be Selfish. Be Selfless. Be Selfish. | BNI

Let’s face it, networking is about you. And yet, that’s the problem. Everyday millions of business seekers walk into networking events with one thing in mind. Themselves. I implore you not to feel guilty. This is totally natural. It’s also totally ineffective. While you shouldn’t apologize for being a product of your baser (and selfish) instincts, you may want to modify them when networking for new business. So, are you out of luck? Are you destined to be a self centered, one-way, “what else can you do for me” sponge? No! Here is some advice on how to manage it. Be Selfish, then Selfless, then Selfish.

Be Selfish. Never walk into an event or enter into a business relationship without knowing what you want from it. Does that sound cold? It’s not. It’s smart. Most people think this way, not all will admit it! This is an exercise for you to complete before ever leaving the office. First, you must know your target market. Does the person you are speaking to represent them, or can they refer you to them. You must have a proven process on how to close that prospect once you meet them. Then, you must know how many of these prospects you need to make your month. Be selfish! However, there is a major caveat here. Keep that selfishness buried way down deep until you have earned the right to bring it back out. This may require biting your tongue and becoming a little (or a lot) more patient.

Be Selfless. What our dear mothers taught us. Now that you have prioritized what it will take to make your business grow, it’s time to motivate someone to think of you in that way in the future. The only way this will happen is if you absolutely lose yourself in your new friend. Have you ever had a conversation with someone who hung on every word you said while making spectacular eye contact? Then every time you met them later, they did it again? I have. Her name is Shelley and she is my financial advisor. We met through BNI, Business Network Int’l. I have known hundreds of financial advisors over the years, and I’ve seen all their fancy charts and graphs. Although, when it came time for me to choose one of them, you’ll never guess what I did. I sat and pondered, which one spent the most time listening to me? Offering support and ideas benefiting me? Shelley taught me a lot here, and she got my business by being Selfless.

Be Selfish. Whew! Some of you were probably getting a little anxious there. Relax, you can be selfish again! Have you ever given a lot of business to someone and gotten nothing in return? The only person you should not be disappointed in doing this for is your parent or a close personal friend. For all others, you’ve earned the right to have the favor returned. So, if you know what you want from that relationship and you’ve made a lot of deposits into it, why are they not reciprocating! Perhaps you have not educated them. Do they understand what kind of referrals you’d like, of what quality, how many, and how you’d like to be introduced? You’ve earned the right, but not given them the knowledge. You’ve not trained your referral partner and that my friend is all your fault.

In the Referral Institute, it is taught that there is a flow to every relationship. Those who are selfish all the time get some short-term business with no referrals from those transactions. That is the problem. They are transactional sellers, not relational sellers. Although, some understand that you must be silently selfish, outlandishly selfless, then when earned, prudently and respectfully selfish again.


Brennan Scanlon is an Executive Director for BNI & Referral Institute franchise owner in Greater Cincinnati. Over the past 13 years Brennan has been training sales people & entrepreneurs on how to harness the power of word of mouth to grow their business. A good referral for him would be a speaking engagement at an organization made up of sales people who need more referrals. He can be reached at www.brennanscanlon.com

---

BNI
With over 5,500 active chapters, and over 100,000 members throughout every populated continent worldwide, BNI is the largest and most successful business referral organization in the world. BNI was founded in 1985 by Dr. Ivan Misner and the organization, which allows only one person from each profession to join a chapter, offers members the opportunity to share ideas, contacts, and most importantly, referrals. Last year alone, members of BNI passed 6.2 million referrals, generating 2.6 billion dollars’ worth of business.

For more information on BNI, please visit http://www.bni.com/ or call BNI Headquarters at 909.608.7575.

Links:
~ BNI Store - http://store.bni.com/
~ Blog - http://www.networkingnowblog.com/
~ BNI SuccessNet Newsletter - http://www.bnisuccessnet.com/
~ BNI Twitter page - http://twitter.com/BNI_Official_Pg
~ BNI Facebook page - http://www.facebook.com/BNIOfficialPage
~ NetworkingNow - http://www.networkingnow.com/

---

Powered By TNNWC Group™

For complete tactical and strategic business planning, marketing, media, lead-generation, technological and capital resources, scalable solutions and tools to support every entrepreneurial start-up, young enterprise, small- to medium-sized business and emerging high-growth company, talk to The National Networker Companies™/ TNNWC Group, LLC.

We are a collaborative entrepreneurial, creative organization offering you hands-on, personalized assistance in every aspect of achieving your monetization, profitability and financial sustainability objectives, domestically and globally.

We don’t just coach you or offer you pre-packaged, push-button solutions – we listen to you, analyze your exact needs, and work within your budget to: 1) create your tool kit and 2) work as your partner to implement your plan by supporting you in the most efficient and productive use of every tool.

Visit our website, which is located at http://www.TNNWC.com .

To receive our newsletters, publications, information bulletins and alerts, simply join us as a Member. Membership is free and the benefits are unequalled anywhere.

Just go to our home page, and click on the “JOIN US” button.

---

Capital, Traffic Building, International Customers and unique SERVICES.
The National Networker Publications™ produced by TNNWC Group, LLC

Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

Be Selfish. Be Selfless. Be Selfish. | BNI

BNI: In Networking, Person Trumps Profession

Recently, I gave a presentation to members of the Independent Jewelers Organization on how to develop strategic referral partnerships. During a break, Ronnie Miller, a jeweler from Meyerland Jewelers in Houston, came up to me. “Brennan, I love the concept of Dr. Misner’s Giver’s Gain, although, I struggle with which professions to align myself with. We’re not like the realtor example you gave that perfectly fits with the mortgage, title, inspection, insurance agent, etc. Who do I look for, and how do I find them?” Ronnie, I owe you a diamond purchase for raising such an excellent question. For you see, in networking, you are looking for the person as much as the profession.

The Profession. Let’s be realistic. If you are a wedding planner you might not want to spend all your time with an estate-planning attorney. Unless of course it is your spouse! Rather, you’ll want to ask yourself who shares my clients but is not my competitor. Additionally, who else participates in the same transaction as I do? Did you know that Domino’s Pizza in the past had all of its national print advertising paid for by Coca Cola? Why? Most pizza orders come along with a 2-liter purchase! In choosing your referral partners, here is a checklist of what to look for in finding the right profession;

1. Do they share my Target Market?
2. Are they located within 15-20 miles of where I am?
3. Is their company established with a good reputation in your market?
4. Do they already have an affiliation with your competitor?

The Person. Once you profile the right profession and perhaps even the right company, now, finding right person is everything. Unless you have the right one of these, none of the previous points matter. Think back to high school. Do you remember the crush you had on that good looking, funny, super special person? Their looks, their style, and their personality were just right for you. They were your perfect match! If you only had one date with them it would mean love and happily ever after? Then you had that coveted date only to find out it was not a love connection, but your worst nightmare? While there probably should be no romance, there had better be some chemistry in your referral relationships. Here is a checklist of what to look for in finding the right person;

1. Does the personality of the person complement yours? Different is good, so long as you appreciate their style.
2. Are they ambitious and driven in their own business taking pride in themselves and the clients they serve?
3. Do they believe in Giver’s Gain as apposed to Getter’s Gain?
4. Do they not only believe in what you sell, but are they also a fan of you?

Imagine you arrive at a tennis club on a Saturday and you are looking for a good match with a worthy counterpart. You finally find someone you feel you’d play well with so you agree to meet on the court. When they arrive, they have a golf club in their hand. This is an example of the wrong sport, or the wrong profession. Let’s say you find someone who does have a racket, but each time you volley, they just stand there and don’t return the ball. You have the wrong person. In order for the match to be worthwhile, you’ll need find the right person. Ronnie from Houston, I wish you all the best in choosing the right people to not only play tennis with, but whom to grow your business with as well.

Brennan Scanlon is a Referral Institute Franchise owner & Executive Director for BNI. Brennan has been ranked in the Top 10% of Directors nationally for the last three consecutive years & recently inducted into BNI's Founder's Circle For 12 years Brennan has been training entrepreneurs how to harness the power of word of mouth to grow their business. Visit Brennan at www.bni-ohio.com or www.referralinstitute-cincinnati.com.

---

BNI
With over 5,500 active chapters, and over 100,000 members throughout every populated continent worldwide, BNI is the largest and most successful business referral organization in the world. BNI was founded in 1985 by Dr. Ivan Misner and the organization, which allows only one person from each profession to join a chapter, offers members the opportunity to share ideas, contacts, and most importantly, referrals. Last year alone, members of BNI passed 6.2 million referrals, generating 2.6 billion dollars’ worth of business.

For more information on BNI, please visit http://www.bni.com/ or call BNI Headquarters at 909.608.7575.

Links:
~ BNI Store - http://store.bni.com/
~ Blog - http://www.networkingnowblog.com/
~ BNI SuccessNet Newsletter - http://www.bnisuccessnet.com/
~ BNI Twitter page - http://twitter.com/BNI_Official_Pg
~ BNI Facebook page - http://www.facebook.com/BNIOfficialPage
~ NetworkingNow - http://www.networkingnow.com/

---

Capital, Traffic Building, International Customers and unique SERVICES.
The National Networker Publications™ produced by TNNWC Group, LLC
Resources for Business Planning, Development, Capital and Growth

Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

BNI: In Networking, Person Trumps Profession

BNI: Mom Was Wrong, Name Calling is a MUST

As a younger man I have fond memories of conversations I had with my older brother. He was successful in business and had many friends. Knowing this, I always paid close attention to what he had to say. On a car ride to lunch one day, he shared with me one of his pet peeves…being called “guy”. As in “hey there guy” or “what do you say guy?” I found that interesting because being called “guy” did not offend me. In fact, I brain-stormed all the “I don’t know your name clichés” including but not limited to; chief, sport, fella, partner, buddy, boss, pal, and of course guy. None of these offended me, why was “guy” so bad?

As I got older I realized that it was not the word that was offensive, it was the arrogance/laziness of those who use & abuse them. What is easier, learning everyone’s name or picking one generic name for everyone? Call all males “pal” & all females “sweetie”. On to the easy life! Okay, I’ll stop, but its only funny because these people do exist! Now, I realize that most of us don’t use these generic name’s, typically we just don’t say anything. However, there are an elite few who regularly speak the sweetest sound a human being can utter, someone’s name. If you are like me, you appreciate a couple good strategies for drawing out the precious name of the person that you may have forgotten.

First, teamwork is everything. Often times you are not by yourself, literally. Whether you are with your spouse, a business associate, or a friend, get into the habit of helping them remember names too. For example, you & and your spouse approach a friend of yours that your spouse has only met a few times. In the first 5 seconds of the greeting politely say, “honey, you remember Bill don’t you?” To which your spouse will proclaim “of course!” Do this enough and your hubby, among others, will do this for you too.

Second scenario? Let’s assume you are alone. How do you proceed from here? You can either hang in the corner hoping not to make eye contact. Now you not only don’t remember their name, but you are snubbing them too! Or perhaps, try this. With all the confidence in the world walk directly up to the individual who’s name you’ve forgotten, extend for the handshake, and with your free hand point directly back at yourself and utter the sweetest sound in your universe, your name. Then, be silent. I’d love to say all the time (though I cannot), but the majority of the time they will point at themselves and do the same. Why is this a good strategy? Odds are, they have forgotten your name too, and you’ve just let them off the hook.

Of course, name badges solve a lot of these problems. Although, they can look a little silly if folks are wearing them at the little league baseball game or at the swimming pool (chest hair…ouch). No matter what, people appreciate sincerity and humility. Be real & be honest. If you have forgotten a name, politely ask for it again. It is only when you repeatedly ask for it that you will lose credibility. If all else fails, you can always use “guy” or “sweetie”, just don’t be offended if they call you “dude” or “honey”.


Brennan Scanlon is a Referral Institute Franchise owner as well as an Executive Director for BNI, Business Network Int'l (www.bni-ohio.com) SW Ohio & No. KY Region. He has been ranked in the Top 10% of BNI Directors nationally for the last two consecutive years, this ranking resulting in performance reviews submitted by BNI members. Most recently, Brennan has been inducted into BNI's Founder's Circle 2008-2009 as nominated by his peers and approved by BNI's Founder, Dr. Ivan Misner.

---

BNI
With over 5,500 active chapters, and over 100,000 members throughout every populated continent worldwide, BNI is the largest and most successful business referral organization in the world. BNI was founded in 1985 by Dr. Ivan Misner and the organization, which allows only one person from each profession to join a chapter, offers members the opportunity to share ideas, contacts, and most importantly, referrals. Last year alone, members of BNI passed 6.2 million referrals, generating 2.6 billion dollars’ worth of business.

For more information on BNI, please visit http://www.bni.com/ or call BNI Headquarters at 909.608.7575.

Links:
~ BNI Store - http://store.bni.com/
~ Blog - http://www.networkingnowblog.com/
~ BNI SuccessNet Newsletter - http://www.bnisuccessnet.com/
~ BNI Twitter page - http://twitter.com/BNI_Official_Pg
~ BNI Facebook page - http://www.facebook.com/BNIOfficialPage
~ NetworkingNow - http://www.networkingnow.com/

---

Capital, Traffic Building, International Customers and unique SERVICES.
The National Networker Publications™ produced by TNNWC Group, LLC
Resources for Business Planning, Development, Capital and Growth

Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

BNI: Mom Was Wrong, Name Calling is a MUST