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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

BLUE THING #3: Amazing New Facts and Statistics

Amazing New Facts and Statistics

BLUE THING #3: Amazing New Facts and Statistics

Why? These amazing facts and statistics are informative, fascinating, fun to forward to friends, and occasionally hysterical. This post is unbelievably hysterical. We promise. Read it, click on the little envelope-shaped icon at the very bottom of the whole BLUE THING POSTING, and send this to 10 friends, colleagues or business associates with your own custom transmittal email attached. They'll thank you. Oh yes. They surely will.

NOW FEATURING A TAG CLOUD FOR THE WEEK - This cloud is generated from the TNNW RSS Feed and Daily Email Blog at http://TheNationalNetworker.blogspot.com (you should be getting either the RSS Feed or the Daily Email to supplement your membership). The cloud is featured below, following the Amazing New Facts and Statistics.

We strongly encourage READER PARTICIPATION.....

IF YOU have an amazing fact, statistic or hysterical story to share with out readership, tell us right now. Don't be selfish. Share if you care. Just click:



You are invited to submit your favorite amazing fact or little-known statistic and get it published here, boldly showcased in the perfectly rectangular enclosure of BLUE THING #3. But be advised that you must be a Subscriber in order to participate. If you're not already a subscriber, click on the following link before you read on: http://twitlik.com/IN. If you are already a Subscriber, please proceed to the next paragraph for "the elevator pitch."


HEY YOU! Yes you. Since you are now a Subscriber to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER NEWSLETTER, you are invited to submit your own favorite amazing fact or statistic. If you’d like, we’ll even publish your name (or your organization’s name) if you'd like and give you credit for your contribution. Note: Unless you are particularly dense, you will recognize that we are actually offering you FREE PUBLICITY in exchange for a mere tidbit of information.

Simply click on the hyperlink below to submit your gem:


If the hyperlink above isn’t working, first you must first blame your browser (Internet Explorer 8 seems to be an exceptionally popular source of consumer dissatisfaction), then your ISP Provider, then Bill Gates (or Steve Jobs), and mutter a rapid string of profanities under your breath. Kick furniture if you feel it necessary. [feel better?] Then, just click on this one, and get direct access.



AND NOW...
A compilation of utterly useless information brought to you by The Internationalist Page, PurpleSlinky.com, digitaldreamdoor.nutsie.com and THE NATIONAL NEWSPICKER™.

Following is a veritable cesspool teeming with trivial items to use in pick-up lines in bars, to fill awkward silences in credit committee meetings, and to forward (via email) to the spam filters of Oprah, Bill O’Reilly, Bono, Paris Hilton, Harry Potter [either one], any member of the board of directors of Bank Of America, the president or prime minister of your home nation, or one or more of your many friends, family members and people who have far too much time on their hands.

Here goes:

To commemorate the London Times publishing the first known classified ad on February 23, 1886 we proudly present:

Funny Classified Ads


  • TOASTER: A GIFT THAT EVERY MEMBER OF THE FAMILY APPRECIATES.
    AUTOMATICALLY BURNS TOAST.

  • FOR RENT: 6-ROOM HATED APARTMENT.

  • WE WILL OIL YOUR SEWING MACHINE AND ADJUST TENSION IN YOUR HOME FOR $1.00.


  • CHRISTMAS TAG-SALE. HANDMADE GIFTS FOR THE HARD-TO-FIND PERSON.

  • THE HOTEL HAS BOWLING ALLEYS, TENNIS COURTS, COMFORTABLE BEDS,
    AND OTHER ATHLETIC FACILITIES.

  • WANTED: HAIR CUTTER. EXCELLENT GROWTH POTENTIAL.



  • DINNER SPECIAL -- TURKEY $2.35; CHICKEN OR BEEF $2.25; CHILDREN $2.00

  • USED CARS: WHY GO ELSEWHERE TO BE CHEATED. COME HERE FIRST.

  • FOR SALE: ANTIQUE DESK SUITABLE FOR LADY WITH THICK LEGS AND LARGE DRAWERS.



  • FOR SALE. THREE CANARIES OF UNDERMINED SEX.

  • GREAT DAMES FOR SALE.

  • FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL-1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG



  • MT. KILIMANJARO, THE BREATHTAKING BACKDROP FOR THE SERENA LODGE.
    SWIM IN THE LOVELY POOL WHILE YOU DRINK IT ALL IN.

  • 3-YEAR OLD TEACHER NEEDED FOR PRE-SCHOOL.
    EXPERIENCE PREFERRED.

  • VACATION SPECIAL: HAVE YOUR HOME EXTERMINATED.



  • GIRL WANTED TO ASSIST MAGICIAN IN CUTTING-OFF-HEAD ILLUSION.
    BLUE CROSS AND SALARY.

  • MAN WANTED TO WORK IN DYNAMITE FACTORY.
    MUST BE WILLING TO TRAVEL

  • TIRED OF CLEANING YOURSELF. LET ME DO IT.




  • AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.

  • OUR EXPERIENCED MOM WILL CARE FOR YOUR CHILD.
    FENCED YARD, MEALS, AND SMACKS INCLUDED.

  • NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO HAVE YOUR EARS PIERCED
    AND GET AN EXTRA PAIR TO TAKE HOME, TOO



  • SEMI-ANNUAL AFTER-CHRISTMAS SALE.

  • AUTO REPAIR SERVICE. FREE PICK-UP AND DELIVERY.
    TRY US ONCE, YOU'LL NEVER GO ANYWHERE AGAIN.

  • DOG FOR SALE: EATS ANYTHING AND IS FOND OF CHILDREN.

  • MIXING BOWL SET DESIGNED TO PLEASE A COOK WITH ROUND BOTTOM FOR EFFICIENT BEATING.




  • WE DO NOT TEAR YOUR CLOTHING WITH MACHINERY.
    WE DO IT CAREFULLY BY HAND.

  • GET RID OF AUNTS. ZAP DOES THE JOB IN 24 HOURS

  • STOCK UP AND SAVE. LIMIT: ONE.


    • AND NOW, THE SUPERSTORE-UNEQUALED IN SIZE, UNMATCHED IN VARIETY, UNRIVALED INCONVENIENCE.
    • HAVE SEVERAL VERY OLD DRESSES FROM GRANDMOTHER IN BEAUTIFUL CONDITION.
    • Ad seen in NY Times
      For sale by owner
      Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows f**king everything.

  • ILLITERATE? WRITE TODAY FOR FREE HELP.

  • MAN, HONEST. WILL TAKE ANYTHING.

  • WANTED. MAN TO TAKE CARE OF COW THAT DOES NOT SMOKE OR DRINK.


  • -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    As promised, here's the Tag Cloud generated from our RSS Feed and Daily Email Blog Site at http://TheNationalNetworkerWeblog.blogspot.com. The words appearing largest and boldest are those which occur most frequently.


    This tag cloud was custom-created for The National Networker Companies by TNNW Blogworks using technology provided by TagCrowd.com

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