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Sunday, November 08, 2009


Nightmares of Networking

with "The Mad Genius"

Why hello my id driven synaptically deficient plebe! The Mad Genius is glad to see your somewhat misanthropic visage on this beautiful autumnal day, and not only as a distraction from me working on my taxes: do you think my atom smasher would qualify for a Section 179 “Accelerated Deduction”? I could definitely get that through an audit: the average revenue agent makes you look like an evolutionary marvel of cranial capacity.

Of course I do my own taxes, at least the initial iteration. As Einstein said: the single most difficult thing to understand is the US Tax Code. Since it contains more verbiage than the entire Library of Alexandria, and is in such constant flux that even those that oversee it do not even comprehend the potential imbedded in this perversely complicated document, I actually feel a moral and intellectual obligation to fully utilize the exclusions, deductions, loop holes and wormholes they have created. Just like Neo, I did not write the code but I know how to exploit it. And yes, I know kung fu.

Sit down, let us derive sustenance from a malted hops beverage and catch up on what you have achieved, beyond the remarkable fact that you tied your own shoes and were able to walk up the stairs while masticating without damaging yourself or my blown glass Jedi/Sith chess set. Just move that pile of printouts off the seat, it is validation for all of my deductions for my CPA so that she can sign off and use her letters to provide a level of protection in case the walking monetary vacuums from Washington decide to audit me. They question that which they do not comprehend...

You know my little padwan, CPA's are critically important even if they are just glorified bean counters that will tell you how much tax you have to pay instead of being proactive and helping you not accrue the tax in the first place. They create a line of defence with their knowledge of a convoluted tome, an esoteric area of knowledge. Similar to being able to repeat the names of all the Pokeman or the statistics of the 1962 Cardinals, but without the stupid cards and with a somewhat greater ramification for failure. Similar to attorneys: the only “profession” whose sole job is to protect you from other members of their profession. Except maybe mercenaries. Hmm, Zevon was correct. Lawyers, guns, and money.

But I always stay within the artificial constraints of human law. Why? Because I can win the game given the constraints they have put in place. Why risk a violation and the results, when the game can still be won even within the sometimes ludicrous shackles imposed? And it is even better to create solutions that the framers of the rules never contemplated, that are beyond their ability to relegate because you are on the section on their mental map that says “Here there be dragons.” Boggles their tiny little minds. They are right though: this unknown area is where the wise and powerful reside, my oligarchic peers and I. Maybe someday you can join us, if you are not devoured while small and young and weak as you are.

Since you are not excessively intelligent and actually need this thing called “sleep”, you should probably continue to build alliances to protect your gluteus maximus. You do not have the time, intelligence obviously, and other resources to go it on your own. You need to build a network of experts around you. Attorneys, accountants, professional hitmen... all the important skill sets that it is better to delegate out because of time needed to master or downside risk potential.

Long ago in my wild youth I knew a successful individual who let their ego overtake their capabilities outside their focus area, and they questioned my advice, looking for a cheaper and less radical alternative to my guidance. They found their cheaper advice with a less intelligent person, a Non-Mad Average Guy who did not fully comprehend the intricacies of our planning. And he made the average mistakes, to the tune of losing a third of what they sought to protect. They basically paid a Stupid Tax. Blake stated the theorem properly: a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, drink deeply or touch not the Pyrrhic Spring. Do not follow in these fools' steps: build relationships with those of excellence within skill sets you do not have but will value. Allow them to advise you on your direction, but ultimately be able to make your own decision and accept the consequences. By allowing a team of disparate experts to input into the discussion you garner greater knowledge to synthesize a better solution. Utilizing this Master Mind concept a la Carnegie will move you towards an optimal solution, and liberate temporal units for you to allocate towards more important things, like maybe how to dress yourself or reviewing your lessons with me. Let the experts do what they do so that you can do what you do, whatever that is.

Well, my beverage is done and the game with the Service awaits. Contemplate on our discussion as you wind your way back down from the lab, but please don't touch the other Storm Trooper pawns on the way down. Maybe on our next visit we can discuss how you have established your junta. Or maybe that too will be a Networking Nightmare....

For more secrets, you may visit the TNNW Bio of "The Mad Genius", if you dare.

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