Douglas Castle is sophomoric, neurotic, paranoid, crass and juvenile...
...and those are just his good points.
He also happens to be one of my best friends, blood-brother-in-arms and (I'm ashamed to say this) business partner.
Furthermore, I refuse to mention Douglas' name any more...
...I remember back in the "good old days" when we were a small, relatively-unknown publication.
At least we were respectable. We had good, solid articles about what was happening in the world of networking and IT WAS TOTALLY IN MY CONTROL! No Douglas...no having to check in with anyone to see whether or not I should make a specific change...no mysterious deliveries to my home at 10:00 at night for 10 double-anchovy pizzas...no late night talks about bodily functions...
What started out as a person who I thought was the first major TNNW fan, groupie and stalker (albeit a mostly-harmless one at that) turned out to be my business partner of this medium-sized (soon to be EXTRA medium), more-well-known publication. Since then, this publication has, in my own shameful-to-admit-it opinion, gone DOWN THE TUBES. Quite frankly, I'm ashamed.
I am even more ashamed to announce to my fellow TNNW readers (at Douglas' urging, and with extreme distaste on my part) two new (gulp...is that bile in my throat?) features:
- The debut of THE NATIONAL NEWSPICKER (in Beta) - a new one-stop source of all the latest headlines from dozens of premiere news sources, including AP News, The Wall Street Journal, Business Week, Financial Times, Mashable, etc.). Yes...we have gone GREEN (I can't believe he made me say that). Now you can pick your friends, pick your news AND pick your friends' news (please make it stop). Check out this week's UPDATE for more on this revolutionary (yet inappropriately-named) tool.
- The attack of the BLUE THINGS - Now after all the articles in our newsletter, we will be regaling you with BLUE THINGS - they're actually rectangular items like TNNW Surveys, Top Buzzed Items and Terms, Top News Stories and Most Memorable Quote of the Week. Again more on our BLUE THINGS in the UPDATE. Why they couldn't be "Sapphire Quadrilaterals of Reader Interest" I will never understand - Douglas just thinks he knows so much about marketing.
Of course you can still get our normal stuff: your favorite writers (and Douglas), your favorite articles and of course me...your lovable, down-to-earth, highly conservative and VERY NORMAL Chairman and Founder.
I just knew I should have listened to my mother when she told me that Douglas was a bad influence...I'm so embarrassed.
As always, I look forward to Networking with you,
Adam
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2 comments:
I'm SO shocked NO one so far has sent laudatory comments on this article! So I want to be the first to congratulate (A) Adam for telling the truth about Douglas (and about himself!) with such mordant, self-effacing wit; and (B) Douglas for having attained such high visibility and achievement levels in spite of (perhaps because of?) his low (sometimes crass) humor.
Let the good times roll!
Ann
Nice hook . . . and I echo everything you've said about Douglas!
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