JETNETTING: THE FIRST IMPRESSION FACTOR: XVII How to Posture Yourself

JetNetting with Heshie Segal

Sometimes it is the small, subtle movement that tells the story. It can work for or against you. The more you know, the greater your ability to control your own body positions as well as read someone else’s. In this article, you will learn how to be a “savvy” body mover and body reader by understanding the “how to” of body posturing.

Posture signals how you feel about yourself, how others perceive you, and what is happening at any given moment of communication.

Whether standing or sitting, lean forward when you want to make a key point. A leaning forward posture communicates to listeners that you are approachable, receptive, friendly, confident, warm, approving and/or are simply interested in what the other person is saying.

It is important to read changes in posture. Watch for leg shuffling or abrupt postural shifts because they signal a change of interest or thought pattern, an alteration of the communication flow, a change of attitude, an upset or a mistake made by one of the parties. (Be well aware that some people simply cannot physically sit in one position too long, also that every thought is transmitted in some form of body manifestation). An example: Boredom, disinterest, apathy and a lack of respect are apparent - especially when sitting - if one of the parties starts slouching during a conversation.

Quick tip: Keep your chin up so that your voice will not sound muffled and you can project an air of confidence.

Mirroring the posture of your partner helps to build rapport and signals, on a sub-conscious level, there is a mutual sense of harmony, understanding, respect and friendship. Following are a number of postures with potential interpretations:

When you position your arms across your chest, you may be projecting that you are (any of the following):

1. Unwilling to listen.
2. Closed to new concepts.
3. Not receptive to change.
4. Being judgmental in an inappropriate manner.
5. Defensive.
6. Nervous.
7. Hard to convince.
8. Cold (yes, it is important to notice temperature and not incorrectly assign a meaning to something that does not exist).
9. Angry with someone or with a situation you cannot control.
10. Dislike someone. (Crossing legs can signal the same thing.)

Raised arms can have a multitude of meanings:

1. To attract attention
2. Signal someone to stop doing something.
3. One arm, used for a swearing in ceremony or to take an oath.
4. Straight up in a V-shape is for victory.
5. Raised with the upper arms parallel with the shoulders, forearms at right angles (90 degrees) is a signal of surrender.

Postural hand positions to avoid:

1. "Broken arm", the Napoleon style where you position one arm and hand in front of you.
2. "Fig leaf", when you place your hands folded in front of you.
3. "Pocket thruster", when you keep your hands in your pocket.
4. "Dreaded jangler", when you use one hand to play with coins.
5. "Prince Philip", where you have your arms folded behind your back.

Some negative posturing includes:

1. Continuous pacing.
2. Body tenseness or restlessness.
3. Fidgeting.
4. Shuffling feet.
5. Finger drumming (i.e. nervous energy).
6. Hair twirling.
7. Swaying from side to side or back and forth.

Body Pointing, how you orient your body toward the other person, is a subtle form of body language.

In direct confrontation, people face each other, shoulders squared.

To build rapport, imitate (point) the body direction of the person with whom you are conversing. To shut someone out, point your body away from that person.

While crossed legs generally indicate closed behavior, crossing the legs in the direction of the person with whom you are conversing turns a closed behavior into an open one.

When arguing with someone, point your body away from that person to emphasize your disagreement. Point your body towards the door when you are looking to exit from a situation.

Moving and leaning to the side or away from someone can mean:

1. You want your distance.
2. The other person has body odor or bad breath.
3. You don't like them.
4. What they are saying is not important to you or that you are not interested.

When seated, if you point your toes towards the person with whom you are speaking, you are generally indicating interest and a desire to communicate. Pointing toes away is perceived as a lack of interest and a desire to exit. If the latter happens, and especially when the body pointing is sending you the same message, you have several choices. You can do something different with your body, and/or modify your method of verbal communication; i.e. mirror movement or position in an attempt to get back into rapport, change the topic, change the tone of your voice or the style in which you are speaking, or just say good-bye.

When the latter is not an option, and you have utilized all of you posturing skills without success, you do have another powerful recourse. What you do with your voice can greatly impact what happens next. The next installment will deal with how your voice can make or break that all important first impression; your stepping stone to success!

When the latter is not an option, and you have utilized all of you posturing skills without success, you do have another powerful recourse. What you do with your voice can greatly impact what happens next. The next installment will deal with how your voice can make or break that all important first impression; your stepping stone to success!

For more information, please visit Heshie's TNNW Bio.

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JETNETTING: THE FIRST IMPRESSION FACTOR: XVII How to Posture Yourself