TNNWC Publications And Informational Products Division publishes The National Networker (TNNWC) Weekly Newsletter and The BLUE TUESDAY Report especially for entrepreneurs and early-stage venturers; free weekly subscriptions to these informative publications are available online to all entrepreneurial Members of TNNWC.

Membership in TNNWC is free (it's automatic for any subscriber to any TNNWC Publication) and available at our website. When you arrive there, just click on any of the JOIN US or BECOME a MEMBER buttons or links.

Friday, July 17, 2009

THE REHUMANIZATION OF NETWORKING: ADVICE: Question Your "Advisors" and Their Motivations


ADVICE: Question Your "Advisors" and Their Motivations.

Dear Readers (and those special folks who only look at the pictures):

I have learned much though my participation in the amazingly rapid development and growth of THE NATIONAL NETWORKER Companies (special thanks here to my dear friend Adam J. Kovitz, who talked me into "helping out a bit with a small project," a year ago, and to the ever-popular Rick Itzkowich of QuoteActions, who knows an amazing secret ... how to make friends). This past year has actually clarified and crystallized something about Human Behavior (we K-PAXians are constantly observing Human Behavior -- it's fun) which I have long believed. It applies to you. Me too. Nobody is exempt.

Some great achievers have succeeded by disregarding almost all of the "well-intended" advice of others. Perhaps intuitively some of these great achievers understand that most seemingly "well-intended" advice is actually thinly-veiled bitter admonition about what is impossible, and very little encouragement about that which has never been tried, but which presents an irresistible opportunity for a deserving and tenacious person.

Some advice is merely discouragement fired at you from someone who has been embittered by personal failure. He or she is actually emotionally invested in your failure, for if you were to succeed, it would emphasize the magnitude of his or her own shortcomings. This "misery loves company" syndrome is a contagious disease, and is very easily transmitted. Friends and colleagues should support each other through difficulty -- but they should also encourage, support and celebrate each other's successes.

Some advice is offered to shield you from hurt. While well-intentioned, it can cause you to withdraw from a challenge. It can keep you safely in your cage, where no one can hurt you, but where you are a prisoner. The sad truth is that we learn best by our own real-life, real-time experiences, and that we must expect some pain in the process of growth. Those exercises hurt, but they strengthen you. That scar tissue is stronger than the virgin tissue which came before it. Living in fear is simply waiting for death. Don't do it.

Some advice is intended to program and manipulate you into serving someone else's needs or agenda. When daddy is getting ready to retire from his scrap metal salvage business, he might prevail upon you to take over the family business (like George Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life). You might be interested in xenobiology, but daddy wants you to be a scrapologist. Who will have to ultimately live with your decision? You will. [I enjoy answering my own rhetorical questions]

You must choose your advisors, and evaluate their advice very carefully. Ultimately you will find that you are the only advisor who is completely qualified to determine what will bring you happiness and prosperity.

Bottom line 1: Always judge the source and his/her motivations before taking his/her advice to heart.

Bottom line 2: Watch people before you listen to them. Are they credible? Do they "walk the walk"? Are they the examples and avatars of what they preach?

Bottom line 3: Always seek the best advice possible, but don't forestall your action, your plans and your dreams just because you haven't collected "all of the data yet." Political careers are made by Monday morning quarterbacks who do nothing, contribute nothing, build nothing and merely ask probing questions...usually stuff like "Who knew about this, and when did he know it?" If I weren't in such polite company, I could probably state plainly where these postpartum prosecutorial parasites should deeply lodge their "probes."

Be you own best advisor. Learn to hear your own inner voice.


Douglas Castle

For more information, please visit The Esteemed Mr. Castle's TNNW Blog.

p.s. Always judge the source and his/her motivations before taking his/her advice to heart.
p.p.s. Subscribe to the TNNW Weekly Newsletter for free at .

Posted to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW). All rights reserved.

To subscribe for your free TNNW Newsletter, go to For the complete National Networker (TNNW) Relationship Capital Toolkit and a free continuous RSS feed (available either by traditional RSS or by direct email), go to:

You are also invited to click our buttons:

Forward/Share This Article With Colleagues And Social Media:

No comments:

Blog Archive

BNI News Feed

The Emergence of The Relationship Economy

The Emergence of The Relationship Economy
The Emergence of the Relationship Economy features TNNWC Founder, Adam J. Kovitz as a contributing author and contains some of his early work on The Laws of Relationship Capital. The book is available in hardcopy and e-book formats. With a forward written by Doc Searls (of Cluetrain Manifesto fame), it is considered a "must read" for anyone responsible for the strategic direction of their business. If you would like to purchase your own copy, please click the image above.


Site Credits:

Featured in Alltop
ALLTOP Business
News Wire. HOT.
Cool Javascript codes for websites  Fabulous Free Calendars

Create FREE graphics at