GO WEST!!! with Christine M. West
We’ve all been invited to numerous social events professionally, personally and online. We connect with someone we want to impress in our audience. We want our audience to be impressed with who we are and have the desire to be interested enough to advance the relationship into a sale. Without realizing it, as you try so hard to get attention that you become totally unaware of the words spuing from your mouth are fraudulent dribble that lacks integrity, honor or ethic and you’re wondering how do I live up to this creation?
Yet it gets worse, the other person believes you and is searching for exactly what you described as a service and you have no clue how to walk the talk you just articulated. Without risking appearing utterly stupid and confessing to the truth you continue to toot your own horn to an expertise that you do not have. Now impressed with yourself, you up the stakes in this relationship and make the other person a client and commit yourself to delivering an image or a service you cannot possibly deliver.
Now under fiduciary responsibility, the only thing you can do to maintain this self-imagined image is to use condescending language with your client to taint their abilities and to create insecurity. And of course to secure your new expertise and to drive your client’s lack of self-confidence in even deeper, you continue to reinforce their fears with sending them mixed signals about your progress and continue to draw them in further into your personal dysfunction.
Eventually, the client expects you to deliver results. The pressure is on and you feel awkward because the only thing you sold to the client is your WANNABE image.
Now your world is closing in because in your mind telling the truth would be detrimental to your newly created reputation as a legend in your WANNABE world. And worse yet as you self-criticize for losing the opportunity gain customer satisfaction, repeat business and you suspect the client can see right through you. And now you are baffled in your own self-created-nonsense and do not know what to do.
Let’s talk about what drives this behavior and what to do.
Quite a while ago, a wise woman told me when you become great at what you do; you won’t need to try so hard to convince others of your expertise because people will know who you are by being who you are.
Many years ago this statement was extremely difficult for me to digest because I did not know what it really meant because I did not know how to honor who I really was and it was so different than my social conditioning. Our social conditioning has guided our behavior to lack honor and integrity. We have been taught to model the role we want to be and eventually we will grow into that role. By playing the WANNABE role we end up creating an image that lacks any substance and is based on deception.
Our EGO’s have been conditioned to being fed things such as constant attention, the need to be needed, the need to be better than everyone else or the need to diminish other people in order to build ourselves up to feel like a winner. When we feed the dogma of our EGO, we stop listening to others and have the need to be the continual informant with our mouths oozing dribble to hear ourselves talk. The EGO’s ideology believes in being right at all times at all costs. The more egotistical the person, the more that individual has an exaggerated sense of self-importance. That person is more interested in acting like as person of authority in subjects where they have no authority. This person wants to advise everyone how to run their lives when their life is a mess.
The EGO is divided. The EGO lives in past and in the future and has no clue about what is happening right now in the moment. When you are living as the “Being” that you really are, you walk the talk in state of wholeness which is undamaged. People are attracted to a frequency that reflects honor and integrity.
When we act with integrity, we do as we say and our values are aligned with our behaviors. We have the courage to reflect upon who we really are and know who we are not. We end up accepting ourselves where we are at and communicate from that place. When you have honor, you have the strength and discipline to unlearn unneeded habits and learn what is needed to grow into being more self actual. We become a trusted resource to ourselves and those around us.
When we come from a place of honor and integrity our words have power and authority when we communicate verbally, non verbally and in writing. People can hear your passion, confidence, truth and courage. You learn to communicate more substance with fewer words to influence your audience for their greater good instead of for self-serving purposes.
The more you are moving toward being self actual; doors of opportunity have a tendency to open easier and quicker. The more you learn to shed the compulsive impulses of your EGO, the Wannabe crowd moves further and further away and REAL people begin showing up.
Tell me, are you here to BE or are you just a WANNABE ?
Genuinely,
Christine
Author: Christine M. West, TheBusinessMD, 2240 E. Tudor Rd. #976, Anchorage, Alaska, USA 99507. Phone 1-907-223-8403. Email: info@thebusinessmd.net, http://www.businessmd.net/ http://thebusinessmd.blogspot.com/ Christine West is an industrial organizational psychology practitioner and is in private practice as TheBusinessMD which helps organizations and individuals overcome fear and explore the power of change. Ms. West is also a Featured Columnist for the National Networker http://www.thenationalnetworker.com/
For more information, please visit Christine's TNNW Bio.
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