By Matthew Best, TNNW Political Editor
It’s been said that Thomas Edison conducted 10,000 experiments before he got the light bulb right. When asked if he ever felt like giving up during all those failed experiments, he answered that he didn’t fail 10,000 times at all – he merely found 10,000 ways not to do it.
And so it is with networking. Since networking is a jungle, there are at least 10,000 ways in which people are "failing" each and every day. Some times the best way to learn how to do something a better way is to learn how not to do it.
A great example of this was a recent e-mail I received about one of the numerous presidential debates that have been going on for several months now. This debate was sponsored by a large on-line news site that targeted their audience to a specific group of voters. I receive a ton of e-mail each day announcing debates, candidate positions, events, etc. What made me read the entire e-mail can best be explained as a great example of how not to get candidates to a debate. The sponsor of the debate announced the debate, but then proceeded to complain that the top-tier candidates were going to be no-shows.
Which leads to a nice concise set of lessons I’ll share with you about how to get candidates to ignore you. The same lessons apply to networking as well.
Lesson 1
Criticize the top-tier candidates. That’s right, that’s the easiest way for candidates to ignore you in the future. Why would anyone in their right mind decide to show up at the last minute after you just called them a "gutless wonder?" That’s not an exaggeration either, the moderator did just that.
In networking, how effective are you when you criticize someone else? How likely are they to connect with you? The simple answer is that they aren’t going to. In fact, they will do all they can to cut ties with you. Do you like to associate with people who judge you or what you do in a critical fashion right off the bat?
Lesson 2
Make your debate announcement more about the moderator than the candidates and debate. I’m not stretching it here, but at least one-third of the debate announcement was about the moderator - his background, a sales pitch for his latest book, etc. When you include quotes by the moderator in the e-mail, at least half of the announcement is about the moderator and not about the candidates or the debate.
The networking lesson here is simple – Remember - it’s not about you. If it is all about you, people can see through that. If you approach networking with a genuine interest in the other person, they will see that as well.
Lesson 3
Inadvertently downplay the candidates who decide to participate. The announcement identifies the top-tier candidates, which means the other candidates are what - second-tier at best, or not to be taken seriously at worst. Why not thank the candidates who are deciding to participate and raise them up. I don’t know, maybe something to the effect that "this debate will give the candidates who participate a platform and an opportunity to set themselves apart from the crowd."
Again, it’s all about the other person when it comes to networking. So maybe you aren’t connected to hundreds of people, or to someone you deem to be "really important." So what! Who are you connected to? Why not show your appreciation to those people who thought it important enough to connect with you. Reach out to them every now and then and show your appreciation to them.
Lesson 4
Make the debate as long as possible. The debate was set to run for three hours according to the announcement. You saw that correctly, three hours. I pity the candidates who are participating. Debates aren’t supposed be as long as some faster runners take to finish a marathon.
It’s one thing to invest time into your relationships – especially in this day and age of the thirty-second sound bite, drive thru lunches, instant communications, etc. It’s quite another to waste people’s valuable time. Time is one of our most valuable resources. When you respect other people’s time, they appreciate it and will generally give you a little more time.
Given these lessons, I’m not surprised that the top-tier candidates decided to skip this debate. Would you skip out on a connection given the same circumstances? Some of the best lessons out there are the mistakes that other people make. Hopefully the mistakes I’ve presented here will help you become a better networker.
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